Client Psychology and Motivation for Personal Trainers

Transcription

1 Client Psychology and Motivation for Personal Trainers Unit 4 Communication and interpersonal skills Lesson 4 Active listening: part 2

2 Step 1 Lesson aims In this lesson, we will: Define and describe the techniques of active listening known as reflection and paraphrasing Step 2 Active listening techniques The second part of active listening involves a series of techniques that you can adopt to show that you have understood what your client has communicated in words and actions. These are: Allow for pauses. Don't be tempted to interrupt your client or finish their sentences. Also, give them time to consider their responses to your questions. Give encouragement. Use nods, smiles and simple words such as 'yes', 'ok', 'uh huh' to encourage your client to continue to communicate. Don't speculate. Don't try to second guess what your client needs or wants based upon your judgement of them. Listen carefully to what they are saying and doing. Use paraphrasing. This simply means summarising what your client has said, in order to ensure you are correctly interpreting their meaning. Reflect feelings. Show you are in tune with the emotional content of what your client is conveying to you, both verbally and non-verbally. Step 3 Paraphrasing We will now take a more detailed look at the use of paraphrasing and reflection skills, as these particular techniques are a very important part of the listening process. Paraphrasing is a method of repeating back to your client what he or she has just said, using your own words, in order to clarify meaning. Client: "I keep working on my golf swing but I don't seem to get any better." Sports Coach: "So, you have been putting in the practice but don't feel you are improving?" Client: "I haven't done any of my programme last week because I had flu." Personal Trainer: "So you were ill last week and unable to exercise?" Note: The online lesson contains audio examples. Step 4 Paraphrasing By paraphrasing skilfully you can: Provide mirror reflections that are often clearer than the original statement July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 1 of 9

3 Show your client that you are listening, understanding and recognising their message Translate the essence of a message that perhaps was not very clear in the speaker's mind Help your client to gain a better insight into their situation This is a skill good sales people use all the time. Step 5 Paraphrasing Let's put paraphrasing into action. Listen to the dialogue between Mark and Fiona, and notice what Mark does. Note: View your online lesson, step 5, this contains an audio example You may already be using paraphrasing skills in your conversations with your clients. If not, you may want to practice this skill with a partner or friend until you feel comfortable using this technique. To help you, we have included some more examples of paraphrasing on the next step. Step 6 Further examples of paraphrasing Example 1 Client: "I have been struggling with trying to lose weight for a long time." Nutrition Advisor: "You have been trying to lose weight for a while now and are finding it difficult?" Example 2 Client: "There is no way you would get me out running." Personal Trainer: "You don't want to do any running?" Example 3 Client: "I know that I ought to be doing something about getting fitter but it just seems to be such an effort." Personal Trainer: "So you have thought about getting fit and what might be required to achieve this?" Example 4 Client: "I hate doing weights so don't make me do that..." Personal Trainer: "So you have tried weight training and didn't like it?" Step 7 Reflection skills This involves reflecting back to the client your understanding of the flow of feelings about his or her experiences, by making sense of his or her actions and words. It is not the interpretation of feelings and emotions. July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 2 of 9

4 This skill can help your client to feel acknowledged and understood and will often lead to further disclosure and insight. First, let's listen to an example of poor reflection: Note: See your online lesson, step 7 to hear the audio. Client: "I am so worried. I have got my fitness test for my application to the Police Force next month and I have missed all my training sessions last week, because I had flu." Personal Trainer: "Oh, so you missed all your sessions last week then?" Step 8 Reflection skills Now let's listen to an example of more effective reflection: Note: See your online lesson, step 8 to hear the audio. Client: "I am so worried. I have got my fitness test for my application to the Police Force next month and I have missed all my training sessions last week, because I had flu." Personal Trainer: "Oh, that's a bit of bad luck. Sounds to me like it is important we get you back on track." Client: "Yes it is. If I fail my fitness test, I will not get in " You can find more examples of reflecting feelings on the next 2 steps. Step 9 Further examples of reflection Example 1 Client: "Every time I start to do any exercise I ache so much it puts me off." Personal Trainer: "It sounds like we need to look at what exercise you're doing to make sure that you can manage it successfully and it's enjoyable." Example 2 Client: "I feel really nervous about doing these fitness tests - what will I have to do?" Personal Trainer: "It sounds like you're worrying about the tests. I will talk you through each one before we do them and if you decide that you don't to do any of them, that's fine, I will not make you do anything that you feel uncomfortable with." Step 10 Further examples of reflection Example 3 Client: "I did everything you told me to do last week and I feel fantastic." Personal Trainer: "Brilliant, you sound really suprised and pleased." Client: "I am, I never realised exercise could be could be such fun!" Example 4 Client: "I am never going to do this much exercise in one week." July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 3 of 9

5 Personal Trainer: "It sounds like you are worried about the number of exercise sessions we have scheduled." Step 11 Reflection skills 1. "I feel that a change in 24 hr drinking laws in the UK will cause all kinds of problems." 2. "I feel worried that a change in 24 hr drinking laws in the UK will cause all kinds of problems." Read the 2 statements above. Which is expressing a feeling and which is expressing a thought? Feedback: Statement 1 is expressing a thought, and Statement 2 is expressing a feeling. Step 12 Reflection skills question In case you got the last question wrong, here's some feedback. The statement: "I feel that a change in 24 hr drinking laws in the UK will cause all kinds of problems." is expressing a thought: the phrase 'I feel' in this example is another way of saying 'I think'. The statement: "I feel worried that a change in 24 hr drinking laws in the UK will cause all kinds of problems." is expressing a feeling of concern. Step 13 Reflection skills It is of course important to distinguish between thoughts and feelings. Some suggestions about identifying feelings from what people say are shown below. Non-verbal: Observe the way your client appears. Do they look tired, worried, distracted, and angry? Does their body language match their verbal messaging? Verbal: Many of the feelings conveyed by clients will be done via the tone of their voices. Clients that are not in touch with their feelings will often have flat, and distant voices. Feeling words: Listen to the words they use. These will give you clues as to what they may be feeling. An absence of any feeling words will also give you information about your client. Physical words : Watch out for physical response words or phrases such as tense, tired, headaches. What might this signify? What might the links be between somatic and emotional response? July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 4 of 9

6 Imagery: Often we may use imagery to describe or hide feelings. Examples of this are "I am over the moon" describing joy or "I wanted to crawl into a corner " describing shame or embarrassment. Step 14 Identifying feelings Let's consider some of the various emotional states you may be faced with as a Personal Trainer, and how your client might display these. Click on the button labelled handout on step 14 of your online lesson to download the activity handout and then complete the verbal and non-verbal clues that you might expect to observe for the feelings listed. Step 15 Identifying feelings The table below demonstrates some of the verbal and non-verbal clues that you might expect to observe for the various emotional state. This list is not exhaustive and individuals may express the same emotion in entirely different ways. Your job is to become more aware of the possible clues that be expressed to better understand your clients emotional state. Clue Anger Happiness Sadness Anxiety Tone of voice Erratic and uncontrolled, or sturn and deliberate Bright, cheerful, animated, higher pitched Slow, monotone, low pitched Quivering, shaky Volume Eye contact Facial expression Posture Loud if shouting, or soft as though about to boil Staring threateningly or avoidance eye contact Frownin, pursed lips, clenched jaw, flared nostrils, squinting eyes Closed, tense and upright Loud Low and soft This could be both soft and loud Lots, eyes wide open, full or expression Bright, lifted eyebrows, smiling, or wide open mouth Open, relaxed and upright Little if eyes are to the floor, or lots if eyes are pleading for help Frown, relaxed facial muscles, pouting lips Slumping and round shouldered as if trying to look small Lots of eye contact, eyes darting around, wide eyed Tense facial muscles, pursed lips, biting of the lip, raised eyebrows Closed, tense and constantly changing July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 5 of 9

7 Gestures Finger pointing and arms flaying or arms tighty crossed, fist clenching Head nodding, lots of large hand and arm movements Few gestures, shrugging of shoulders, shaking of head, sighing Fidgeting, leg bouncing, lots of hand movements Step 16 Identifying feelings Wherever possible, it's a good idea to reflect back what you perceive as your client's feelings, just to be sure you have interpreted them correctly. Obviously, this needs to be done tentatively and empathically. Misunderstandings, especially at the beginning of a relationship, can be very damaging. Now let's go back to the conversation between Fiona and Mark and see how it continues. Listen to the first part again, and then notice what happens as the conversation progresses. Note: View the online lesson, step 16 to hear the audio. Step 17 Identifying feelings During the conversation you will have noticed that Mark was accurately able to reflect back to Fiona how she felt about not having made any of the agreed changes during the previous week. This illustrates what I mean by being empathic: the understanding and appreciation of your client's situation and feelings. This is the third and final cornerstone of an effective supportive relationship. You may also have noticed that by enabling Fiona to clarify her situation and acknowledge her feelings, she felt able to go on and suggest her own solutions to the current problems. This is what we refer to as a client centred approach, which we will explore in more detail later in the module. Step 19 Communication and interpersonal skills Now let's look at an example of communication and interpersonal skills in action. Note: Open the online lesson, step 19 to view a video example. Step 20 Activity Question: What do you think are the poor communication and interpersonal skills displayed in the video example? July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 6 of 9

8 Write down your thoughts. If you would like a handout to complete this activity click on the button labelled handout on step 20 of your online lesson. Step 21 Communication and interpersonal skills So, what did you notice about the active listening techniques used by the Personal Trainer? Perhaps you will have noticed that the Personal Trainer: Expressed disinterest through his tone of voice, language and slouching body posture Made assumptions about his client's wants and needs Interrupted his client and finished her sentences Fidgeted and got up to leave during the conversation Did not give his client his full attention Was not 'available' to his client Did not give his client options for change Now let's now look at an example of good communication and interpersonal skills. Step 23 Communication and interpersonal skills Note: Step 23 contains a video example. Please open your online lesson to view this. Step 24 Activity Question: What do you think are the good communication and interpersonal skills displayed in the second video example? Write down your thoughts, and move onto the next step when you are ready. If you would like a handout to complete this activity click on the button labelled handout on step 24 of your online lesson. Step 25 Communication and interpersonal skills In the second video example, you may have noticed that the Personal Trainer utilised more of the active listening techniques we have described in this module. These include: Mirroring his client's body language by his position on the chair Showing genuine interest in his client through his tone of voice, facial expressions and open body posture July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 7 of 9

9 Making regular eye contact Giving encouragement, through a smile, a head nod and the use of encouraging words Allowing time for his client to finish her sentences Asking open/elaboration questions Giving his client options for change In this video example, the Personal Trainer was able to communicate effectively with his client whilst showing empathy. He was genuine in his approach and was 'available' to his client, throughout the conversation. As a result, he was able to build rapport and gain a better understanding of his clients barriers to change, allowing him to work more effectively with her to develop relapse prevention strategies and move towards making permanent lifestyle changes. Step 26 Communication and interpersonal skills So now let us relate what we have learned in this lesson back to Mark and Fiona's first meeting. At this meeting: Fiona and Mark will have made judgements and assumptions about each other. It may be that Mark assumed, that owing to her professional status, Fiona would be as determined to make successful changes to her diet and lifestyle as she was at running her own business. In contrast to this assumption, Fiona may have lacked knowledge and self-confidence in this aspect of her life. She may have preferred a lot more guidance and support as to what changes should be made and to discuss realistically how she was going to fit these into her demanding schedule. Unfortunately the initial consultation had not lent itself to allowing her to express these needs due to the number of questionnaires and measurements Fiona probably gave out non-verbal clues that Mark might have missed Step 27 Communication and interpersonal skills In addition to this: Mark didn't ascertain how Fiona had felt about her previous attempts at losing weight or her current diet and lifestyle Mark didn't investigate what influence and support Fiona had at work and at home for making changes to her diet and activity levels, nor did he gain an insight into any other commitments and priorities that should be factored in when making recommendations for change Mark may have made the assumption that because Fiona had signed up for the 12-week programme that she was in the 'action' phase July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 8 of 9

10 Step 28 Communication and interpersonal skills So it seems likely that, during the first of their sessions, Mark did not build a rapport with Fiona as a result of not paying enough attention to his communication and listening skills. But, as we said at the end of the last chapter, he also did not spend time establishing at what stage of change Fiona was at. In the next chapter, we will look at how he could have achieved this. Step 29 Summary In this lesson we have learnt that active listening also involves: Allowing for pauses Providing encouragement Not speculating Using paraphrasing Reflecting feelings Paraphrasing is a method of repeating back to your client what he or she has just said, using your own words, in order to clarify meaning. Reflection Skills: this involves reflecting back to the client your understanding of the flow of feelings about his or her experiences, by making sense of his or her actions and words. It is not the interpretation of feelings and emotions. July 2014 Future Fit Training, 2014 Page 9 of 9