The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselor Handbook David GoWell

Transcription

1 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselor Handbook David GoWell

2 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook Copyright 1997 & 2011 by David GoWell 9 Cooks Mill Court, Mount Laurel, NJ st Revision: June nd Revision: June rd Revision: June th Revision: June th Revision: June th Revision: June th Revision: January th Revision: January th Revision: January th Revision: January th Revision: January th Revision: January th Revision: January th Revision: January 2011 This material may be freely copied and distributed for non-profit, educational use, provided this notice is included on each copy. All for-profit use is strictly reserved. 2 Counseling

3 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook Our Vision To unite a team of special individuals and provide ourselves with the most powerful, enjoyable and memorable leadership training we possibly can. That s the Mission Statement of the District 7500 RYLA Program and we take it pretty seriously. We are a team of about 70 active volunteer leaders, mostly between 18 and 30, but with a few newer team members who are younger and few Rotarian members who are considerably older. Since 1995 we have been meeting regularly to create, develop, plan and present the best personal development and leadership training we can to ourselves, and to high school students who frequently come back to join our staff. We conduct 8 to 10 powerful training events every year, ranging from 8 hour workshops to 4 day residential training seminars. We believe that a great leader is consistently Loving, Enthusiastic, Able, Dedicated, Ethical and Responsible and has a clear and compelling Vision of a better future. We believe a great leader lives and leads by the 4 Way Test*. We believe a great leader is more concerned with service to others than with self gratification or personal enrichment. And finally, we believe it is our duty to become great leaders to help our communities, our nation and our world. The 40 Rotary Clubs of District 7500 provide most of the monetary support for our program but we also do our own fund-raising, and pay for some of our own training ourselves. Through the efforts and support of our youth members, we have expanded our training program from 4 days to 13 or more days each year. We also raise money to support other service projects. In 2007 we funded 3 Shelter Boxes at $1,000 each and in 2008 we raised $1,800 to provide clean drinking water for people who don t have it. We think we may have created one of the best youth leadership programs in the world, but we are certain we can make it better and we are 100% committed to improving it in every way we can imagine. *Rotary s 4 Way Test of the things we think, say or do: 1 st, is it the Truth? 2 nd, is it Fair to all concerned? 3 rd, will it build Good Will and Better Friendships? 4 th, is it Beneficial to all concerned? Counseling 3

4 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook Introduction This is the Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselor Handbook. Before we get into it let s make sure we all agree on the definition of all those words: Rotary is the world s oldest service organization. It was started by Paul Harris in Chicago in 1905 as a way for him to expand his circle of friends and business contacts. It has now grown to 1.2 million members in 31,000 Rotary Clubs, located in 165 countries. Most Rotarians are successful business owners or managers and they meet weekly over a meal to discuss ways to serve others. They pay dues and hold fund-raisers to generate money to pay for their many projects. They also contribute a great deal of their own time. The motto of Rotary is Service Above Self and Rotarians sponsor many programs that provide food, housing, health care and education to millions of people around the world. (Polio has almost completely disappeared from Planet Earth due largely to the efforts of Rotarians.) They also provide thousands of college scholarships and other programs for young people. RYLA is just one example of this. So be nice to Rotarians. They pay for you to attend RYLA for free, and they just might give you a college scholarship, too. Youth are what RYLA is all about. Our original program was developed by adults for youth, but as our program has grown and evolved over the years more and more of it has been inspired by youth, developed by youth and presented by youth. Most people apply to RYLA when they are Sophomores or Juniors in High School. But because the best Leaders keep coming back, we now have some Advisors in their late-20s who have been in RYLA for more than 10 years. They are training our staff, presenting our programs and developing new ones. Leaders are people who motivate others to do something. The best leaders have a crystal-clear vision of a positive outcome and can consistently motivate people to work hard to make it a reality. They care about other people and have high ethical standards. They are skillful and are constantly seeking to improve those skills. And they are scarcer than hen s teeth. Our world is in desperate need of better leaders. Face it, it s a mess. Every day we are confronted by serious problems including war, corruption, pollution, over-population, poverty, disease and lack of direction. The world needs you to step up and help. Everything we do at RYLA is intended to uncover and develop your Leadership skills. You will find that you have unlimited potential to be a great leader and you will learn very powerful techniques that you can use in almost every area of your life. We call this an Academy because it s an on-going educational process. We are all learning and teaching new things to each other all the time. There may be some people here with more experience than you and we might give them authority and responsibility in some situations, but we are all students of leadership. We are improving RYLA all the time to make it better. You will be a big part of that, as you share your ideas, insights and talents with us. Counselors are people who provide guidance, support, assistance and a sense of well-being to others. From our very first RYLA we had Counselors. There were 10 of them that year and they had about one hour of training before RYLA began. They were supervised by 10 adult Advisors, who were mostly High School teachers. The next year we brought 4 of those Counselors back to help supervise 10 new Counselors and called them Senior Counselors. A few years later we added a new entry-level posi- 4 Counseling

5 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook tion: Support Counselors, to give the Counselors an extra year to thoroughly understand what we are doing and how we do it. By then we were already replacing the adult Advisors with young adults who had been Senior Counselors the year before and after a few more years all of our Advisors were people who had come up through the ranks. As we added levels to our Counselor Team we also added more and more training. We went from one whole hour of training, to one whole day, then began adding more and more days of training in between RYLAs. Support Counselors now get about 40 hours of intense training and most Senior Counselors have over 150 hours of training before they begin leading the RYLA Counselor Teams. And that s not counting the time you ll spend reading and studying this book! To make this leadership structure work, each year we bring the very best Counselors back and train them to do the next higher job. It s incredibly rewarding to see these people return, year after year, always growing and getting better and stronger and more effective. Of course, the down-side is that each year we have to say good-bye to some old friends and tell them there is no room for them. There is nothing harder than that it s by far the worst part of RYLA. But we don t see any alternative we can t make Georgian Court any bigger. So we do what we must and we take it very seriously. It s very painful to have to tell a good friend that they can t be in your club anymore. And we know it s painful to hear. If you someday have to hear that we can t use you at RYLA, please know that we care for you and wish we could keep you there. And if you don t hear it, you ll be joining the group that makes those hard decisions, and you ll find out what that s like. We call this Handbook the Incomplete Leader s Handbook for 2 reasons: First, because the handbook itself is incomplete. We keep adding new lessons and keep improving these lessons, whenever we see a need. So this handbook will never be finished. Second, because it s a handbook for incomplete leaders. We are acknowledging that the process of learning to be a great leader is never finished. There is always more to learn, more experience to be had, new ways of thinking about things and new techniques to try. The title of this handbook constantly reminds us that we are learning and growing all the time. As leaders, we will never be complete. And neither will this handbook. We ll grow together. Let s get started! Counseling 5

6 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook What is in this Handbook After this Introduction there are 5 sections: RYLA, Leadership, Counseling, Personal Development and Games. RYLA This section contains information that is more specifically related to our RYLA program. It covers our Mission, History, some of the basic lessons we teach, and a few odds and ends that didn t fit anywhere else. Leadership This section covers lots of topics that will help you be a better leader. Counseling This section is all about things you can to do help other people. We all try to help our friends when they are troubled, but there are certain things you can do that are more effective than others. We ve scoured the fields of psychology, sociology and human behavior, searching for the most effective techniques we can quickly teach. This certainly isn t the same as getting a degree in physiology or social work, but it s a lot better than trying to help your friends with no training at all. Personal Development This section is concerned with various things you can learn and do to make yourself a better person, all by yourself. There are topics relating to goal setting, personal mission statements, time management, and personal vision. There are also a few esoteric topics that I happen to think are cool. Maybe you will, too. If not, feel free to skip em. Games This section contains both an in-depth theory about what games are and how they help people to learn and grow. It also contains brief descriptions of over 60 games that you can play and teach. None of these sections are more important than the others and there really isn t an ideal order to learn them. In fact, each of these sections contains information that will help you understand each of the other sections, so you can t fully understand any of them until you ve read all of them. That means you should read them all, at least twice, to get even a preliminary understanding of what they are about. After that, you ll find that as you grow in experience and skill, you ll understand many of these topics more and more deeply. If you come back a year later and read them all again, you ll discover insights that you totally missed the first few times. 6 Counseling

7 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook RYLA RYLA 7

8 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook RYLA Counselor Training Training Days Being a Counselor at RYLA is unbelievably rewarding. If you thought it was great being at RYLA as a Leader and learning and experiencing all those new, exciting things, imagine how amazing it is to be working behind the scenes, or directly helping other people to have those experiences. And as you move up the ranks, you ll enjoy even more rewards as a Lead Counselor, Senior Counselor and Advisor. But to make RYLA work, our Counselors have to be exceptionally well-trained so it is extremely important for each Counselor to attend every training day. There are four important Counselor Training events to prepare for RYLA: January Training (usually the first weekend after New Year s Day) 8:30 am 6:30 pm Breakfast, lunch and dinner are provided. March Training (usually the 1 st or 2 nd weekend in March) 8:30 am 3:30 pm Breakfast and lunch are provided. April Training (usually the 3 rd or 4th weekend in April) 8:30 am 3:30 pm Breakfast and lunch are provided. June Training (the Friday before RYLA starts, i.e. the day before RYLA) 8:30 am Midnight Breakfast, lunch and dinner are provided. The actual RYLA event takes place Saturday-Tuesday, usually the last week of June. It is very important for all Counselors and Advisors to attend every minute of RYLA. Any time that we are operating without 100% of our Staff is a time when we are not able to provide the best experience we can to the new Leaders. So if there is any reason you think you might not be able to commit to being there the full time, you need to let us know immediately. We might be able to accommodate you. Or we might have to select a different candidate. More info can be found on our website: If you have any questions you can post them to your mailing list. You can write directly to Dave at this address: davegowell@ryla7500.org 8 RYLA

9 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook RYLA Counselor Training Counselor Selection Every January we have about 50 Candidates try out for 20 Support Counselor positions. We carefully consider each candidate and select the ones we feel are most likely to do a good job. We take this selection process very seriously and have been known to debate for an hour or more, over a single candidate. Here s some advice on how to improve your chances of being selected. Attend every training for the whole time All other things being equal, we will always select the candidate that attended every minute of every training, over someone who had to miss some training. Stand out During every training day we provide many opportunities to express your ideas, opinions, thoughts and feelings. Take every opportunity you get to be seen and heard. Make sure we know who you are. Be a Leader There will be many times that you are in a group that has no clearly designated leader. This is intentional. The idea is to see who is willing and able to step forward and lead the group productively. Grab the reigns and lead your group well. And if someone else has the reigns, don t fight for control. Be a good follower and a productive team member. Be Creative We re looking for Counselors that are creative and intelligent. Use your head and come up with some new ideas. Think outside the box. Look at things from a different perspective. Be ready to defend your ideas. Look good As counselors we have a lot of Leaders looking up to us and it s impotent that we set a good example. Appearances make a strong impression. Dress and groom yourself so you look as good as you can. Get along We are a team and we have to work together. Do your best to get along with every other member of our team. A note to those who are not selected We only get a few hours to evaluate a large number of candidates. Obviously we don t have the time to get to really know each person and find out what they have to offer. That means that we probably make lots of mistakes and let some of the best candidates slip through our fingers. So if we don t select you to come back for the next training day, we recommend you decide it was our mistake. There is nothing wrong with you. You are an awesome person and a great leader. Don t let one rejection get you down! Go out there and do something better. RYLA 9

10 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook Our Mission To unite a team of special individuals and provide ourselves with the most powerful, enjoyable and memorable leadership training we possibly can. Definitions unite means: Bring ourselves together physically on a regular basis up to 8 times a year Stay in contact with each other throughout the year team means: Develop a group identity that is powerful and compelling Develop respect and loyalty toward the group and its members Develop teamwork abilities, including cooperation, compromise and a win-win attitude Identify and encourage various roles within the team, including leading and following special individuals means: Seek promising new individuals to bring into our team Introduce and develop special qualities in all team members Identify outstanding team members for advanced training and leadership roles Develop the self-actualization of the individuals, including their: Health, Happiness, Social relationships, Intelligence, Spirituality & Self Esteem provide ourselves means: Take the initiative to create what we want, ourselves Take full responsibility for the quality of our training and experience powerful means: Seek and develop training areas to produce maximum results Find and use the most effective training methods available enjoyable means: Infuse every training with a sense of fun and adventure memorable means: An experience that will make a strong impression and tend to be used right away Knowledge, skills and attitudes that will stay with the individual for a lifetime leadership training means: Understand and develop the many qualities of a good and effective Leader: Loving, Enthusiastic, Able, Dedicated, Ethical, Responsible and Visionary! the most we possibly can means: We will constantly seek to make it better in every way. 10 RYLA

11 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook We will accomplish this mission by: Bring ourselves together physically on a regular basis up to 8 times a year RYLA Wrap Up, Senior Counselor Training Camp, Senior Counselor Intensive; January Counselor Selection, March Training, May Training, June Training, RYLA Stay in contact with each other throughout the year Share , Trade addresses, RYLA Reunions Develop a group identity that is powerful and compelling Record and recite history, Develop ongoing Guilds, Create Team Pennants and Guild Banners, Display old Banners & photos, Presume that RYLA is a special training experience and passing that on, Develop a unique sense of community and group identity, Foster a genuine feeling of love and fellowship within the community Develop respect and loyalty toward the group and its members Use of titles, Pass on stories about skills, Attitude of Counselors Develop teamwork abilities, including cooperation, compromise, win-win attitude Games, Team meetings, Stories, Create many different opportunities to lead, follow and cooperate Identify and encourage roles within the team, including leading and following Set examples, give many opportunities, create simultaneous teams of various sizes and letting them solve problems Seek promising new individuals to bring into our team Provide better guidelines to Rotary Clubs, Promote RYLA at Interact, seek enthusiastic Rotarians for the RYLA Committee Strive to introduce and develop special qualities in all team members Discuss and record lists of desired qualities, seek ways to develop them Identify outstanding members for advanced training and leadership roles Encourage the leaders to become part of the Counselor team, Observe effects of team, Get recommendations from Team Leaders, Counselors & Advisors, Keep good records, Take pictures of applicants Develop the self-actualization of the individuals, including our: Health, Happiness, Social relationships, Intelligence, Spirituality & Self Esteem Push, Stretch and challenge ourselves, Build esteem, Introduce spirituality, Presume that every individual is special and reinforce that idea often, Provide special opportunities to grow mentally, physically, spiritually and socially, Foster a sense of mystery and higher purpose RYLA 11

12 We will accomplish this mission by: The Incomplete Leaders Handbook Our Mission To unite a team of special individuals and provide ourselves with the most powerful, enjoyable and memorable leadership training we possibly can. Take the initiative to create what we want, ourselves Develop mission statements, Meet to discuss directions and methods, Remind members that they can shape RYLA Take full responsibility for the quality of our training and experience Keep our focus constantly on our goal, Be self-critical, Seek to improve at every opportunity, Develop presenters within our group Understand and develop the many qualities of a good and effective Leader: (Loving, Enthusiastic, Able, Dedicated, Ethical, Responsible and Visionary) Find better ways to do this, Look for more qualities, Study other Leadership programs Seek and develop training areas to produce maximum results Be on lookout for important skills to acquire, Fill every minute with productive training The most effective training methods available Understand human psychology and training methods, Research the newest, most effective training methods available, Practice effective methods A continuous sense of fun and adventure Frequent use of games as learning tools, Hold many social events, Reinforce the experience with dramatic music, Counselors set example by having fun An experience that will make a strong impression and be used right away Provide powerful learning experiences, Use Adventure learning, Encourage intense social interactions, Provide opportunities for personal breakthroughs, Point out results from past team members Knowledge, skills and attitudes that will stay for a lifetime Present practical skills and knowledge, Foster a desire to keep learning and improving, Encourage a lifelong membership in the team We will constantly seek to make it better in every way Experimenting with new methods and subjects, Working harder and smarter all the time, Constantly demanding more and more from all members of our tem 12 RYLA

13 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook What is Rotary? Rotary is the world s first and largest service organization. It was founded in Chicago in 1905 by Paul Harris, a young lawyer who wanted a way to enlarge his circle of professional and business acquaintances by holding weekly meetings which would rotate among each member s place of business. By 1910 there were 16 clubs across the USA and the focus began to center on the ideal of Service. The principal motto of Rotary is Service Above Self and is enthusiastically practiced by more than 1.2 million members in over 160 countries. Individual Rotarians belong to local clubs which conduct various service programs in their own communities and also contribute toward larger projects. All clubs belong to Rotary International which organizes and governs the clubs, and forms them into Districts, which might contain 30 to 50 clubs. Our District was formed in 1994 when it was found that the old Districts in New Jersey had started so many new Rotary Clubs that it was becoming difficult to manage them all. Consequently, the 43 Rotary Clubs in Burlington, Monmouth and Ocean Counties were joined together to create District The Four Way Test of the things we think, say or do: 1. Is it the TRUTH? 2. Is it FAIR to all concerned? 3. Will it build GOOD WILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS? 4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned? RYLA 13

14 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook Solving Problems at RYLA If there is a medical situation the affected person should be taken to the Medical Director IMMEDIATELY (if they should not be moved the Medical Director should be brought to them). The Cards System All Lead Counselors, Support Counselors, Senior Counselors & Advisors have an assortment of preprinted, color-coded cards. Red Orange Yellow Green Blue White Health Problem Emergency!!! Personal concern (always late, complaining, personality conflict, wants to leave, Counselor has personal problem, etc.) Staff Meeting Announcement or urgent suggestion General Session Announcement for everyone Funny Announcements or ideas or jokes that can be used this year Suggestion for next year Sometimes the Assistant Team Leader or the Team Leader will encounter a problem first. They should immediately inform one of their Counselors and their Advisor. When they become aware of a problem, the 3 Counselors should work together as a team any of them can offer immediate intervention and advice, but they should inform the others ASAP and coordinate their efforts. At the first opportunity (and certainly within one hour) one of them should fill out a card, summarizing the problem and their efforts to solve it. They should show the card to their Advisor, then pass it to their Senior Counselor. The Advisor immediately informs the Advisor Coordinator of any serious problems and the Advisor Coordinator immediately informs the Program Director. The Senior Counselors review all cards and attempt to solve any continuing problems. They put comments on the cards and pass them to the Counselor Coordinator. The Counselor Coordinator and the Advisor Coordinator review all cards together and attempt to solve any continuing problems. They put comments on the cards, decide which cards need to be addressed at the Staff Meeting, and pass them to the Program Director. The RYLA Committee is comprised of a group of Rotarians from District 7500 and they are the final authority (acting under the direction of the District Governor) for all aspects of RYLA. In particular, they manage the finances, insurance, communication with the Rotary Clubs, register the RYLA Participants, sign all contracts and approve all programs and events. 14 RYLA

15 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook The Problem Solving Network RYLA Committee Program Director - Dave Assistant Program Director - Kevin Production Coordinator Support Coordinator Counselor Coordinator Advisor Coordinator Senior Counselors Lead Counselor Support Counselors Team Advisor Team Leader Asst Team Leader If someone s health is concerned: Get any help you can, ASAP! Inform the most senior RYLA Staff you can find. Fill out a Red Card. For all other non-emergency problems or situations: Leader has Problem a. If you feel qualified and prepared: do your best to solve it, with whoever else is involved. Then (whether you solve it or not): b. Inform and/or get advice or help from anyone you are connected to by an arrow. If someone s health is concerned, get any help you can, ASAP! RYLA 15

16 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook A Brief History of RYLA Adapted by Joe Wirzburger from the letter "The Origin of RYLA" by Eric Blackford, a member of the first RYLA committee RYLA's beginnings can be traced to Queensland, Australia in For Queensland's centennial, a Festival Week in Brisbane was planned for young people in the same age group as Princess Alexandra, the official representative for the Queen. This week was called "Gundoo" which is the aboriginal word for "festival" or "fun together". The government extended an invitation for two young people, between the ages of 17 and 23, from each Shire to attend "Gundoo". The Queensland government approached the Rotary Club of Brisbane to assist with the organization of the week's activities and the guests' living accommodations. Approximately 300 people from around the country attended "Gundoo". There were many problems with the festival, but the "Gundoo" committee felt that Rotary should take it over and run it as an annual project. The first Rotary Youth Leadership Award (RYLA) seminar was held in Brisbane from July 8-15, There were only 26 leaders present from District 260 that year, but it was felt that the week had served a good purpose and was worth continuing. In 1962, the program changed slightly so that the youth leaders would spend two of the days at the YMCA "Camp Warrawee" in Petrie, outside of Brisbane. Due to poor support at the District and Club levels, there were only 35 registrations. It was then decided that if the clubs did not give reasonable support the following year, RYLA would be abandoned. Over the next year, the RYLA committee made arrangements to fully acquaint District Governor Frank Sanders on all aspects of RYLA. Due largely to his support, the third RYLA had 64 registrations. This encouraged the committee and RYLA was on its way to becoming firmly established. After the third seminar, RYLA spread rapidly to many other districts in Australia and then New Zealand. In 1971, at the Rotary International Convention, RYLA was approved as an international project. Since that time, RYLA has spread worldwide to Rotary Clubs in Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, France, India, Italy, Japan, Korea, Norway, Pakistan, the Philippines, Portugal, Switzerland, Thailand, and the United States among others. RYLA spread to North America when a representative from District 709 was sent to observe the RYLA sponsored by the Heidelberg Club. Subsequent to that visit, RYLA was approved as a project in Today there are hundreds of RYLA programs running in more than 30 countries. 16 RYLA

17 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook A Brief History of our RYLA by Joe Wirzburger & David GoWell The District 7500 RYLA has its roots in District 7640's first RYLA held in 1980 at Stockton College in Pomona, New Jersey. It was here that Pete Heberling from Bordentown Rotary first encountered RYLA. Pete served on the District RYLA Committee almost continuously from 1980 onward. In 1994 David GoWell was a new Rotarian in the Mt Laurel Rotary Club. He was a motivational speaker and personal development trainer who had previously worked with Anthony Robbins. David was working with the Lenape High School Interact Club when he first heard about RYLA. He immediately knew that he wanted to get involved and contacted the RYLA Chairperson of District 7640 to offer his services as a speaker. One of the young men who heard David speak at that RYLA in 1994 was Brad Clements. That same year, District 7510 held their RYLA at the Scanticon Conference Center in Princeton, New Jersey where Jill Eberle was a participant. That following year Rotary International decided to re-district the Rotary Clubs in New Jersey. As part of that process Districts 7640 and 7510 were both split up, with Burlington County from District 7640 joining Monmouth and Ocean Counties from District 7510 to form a brand new district: District David GoWell volunteered to develop a new RYLA program for the brand new district, and he formed a committee with Jeff Donoghue and Pete Heberling and a few others. The first District 7500 RYLA was held in 1995 at Georgian Court College in Lakewood, New Jersey. The first few years they hired high school teachers as Advisors, but they brought in 10 RYLA graduates, including Brad Clements, Jill Eberle and Jody Gersh, from the previous year s programs at Stockton and Scanticon as a Counselor team. Each Counselor was put in charge of a team of 12 participants. The Counselor training program that year consisted of getting to RYLA a couple hours before the participants and helping to assemble the registration bags! The following year Brad, Jill and Jody returned as Senior Counselors, in charge of 10 new Counselors from RYLA Eventually the Support Counselor program was added to more fully prepare the Lead Counselors for their duties and the Counselor training program has grown more sophisticated each year. In 1997 the high school teachers were replaced with volunteer Rotarians, and they were eventually replaced by RYLA grads who had once been Sr. Counselors. Our team of Directors, Coordinators, Advisors, Senior Counselors, Lead Counselors and Support Counselors now numbers about 55 people each year almost every one of them a past RYLA Graduate. They train for about 40 hours every year in between RYLAs to prepare to change the lives of 125 new participants each June. From its early roots at the "Gundoo" festival to its present complex form, our RYLA has grown to be one of the preeminent leadership training seminars in the entire world. RYLA 17

18 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook What is RYLA? excepted from What is a Leader? by David GoWell RYLA Stands for Rotary Youth Leaders Academy: Here s what those words mean: Rotary Rotary is a Service Club. That means that the main purpose of the club is to do things for other people. I ll never forget the first time I met the members of my own Rotary Club which at the time was the Mt. Laurel Club. They were having a Pancake Breakfast and I had agreed to do some entertaining for them. I walked into the school cafeteria at about 6:30 in the morning, and there were all these people wearing Rotary T shirts, running around, making coffee, cooking pancakes, setting tables, and a hundred other things, and they were all laughing and smiling and joking around and having a great time. I found out that everyone of them was a volunteer. No one was getting paid for all this work! In fact, they each had to pay hundreds of dollars a year to be in the club! And all the work they did, all the money they raised, went to other charities, and needy people and community projects. I was so impressed! I decided right then and there that I had to join this organization. And I did. There are 31 thousand Rotary clubs in 165 countries. And they have more than one million members! The Rotary clubs in Burlington, Monmouth and Ocean counties paid for all of you to come here to RYLA. They also sponsor Interact Clubs in a lot of High Schools. Youth About 70 per cent of the kids that attend RYLA are in Interact Clubs in their High School. Interact is just one of many Youth programs that Rotary sponsors. Youth are very important to Rotarians, and they are extremely important to me. It s because of the Rotary Youth programs that I am so involved in Rotary. I think people your age are very special. You have amazing energy, you re full of ideas. You want to do what s right. That s why I love working with you. There are a lot of Youth Programs that Rotary sponsors, like Youth Exchange, The Ambassadorial Scholarship and College Scholarships. You ll hear more about them later on. Leadership You were all chosen to attend RYLA because you are already Youth Leaders. The purpose of this 4 day program is to take outstanding youth leaders and teach you very powerful skills to make you even more effective. You probably wouldn t even have heard about RYLA, or been given an application if you weren t an exceptional person. The fact that you re sitting in this room right now means you were selected from all the applicants as being one of the best. That s something you should be very proud of! Let s hear it for you!!! One possible definition of Leadership is the art of getting people to do what you want. I have to walk a fine line here, because while I want to lead you all to experience some awesome things that I m pretty certain will thrill you and teach you some great skills, I don t really want to tell you what to do. I especially don t want to constrain you to one particular way of life. 18 RYLA

19 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook See, I ve been around a long time, I ve tried a lot of stuff, I ve gotten in a lot of trouble. I ve decided what works best for me, but that doesn t mean you have to follow it. There s lots of ways to live your life and while everyone thinks that they re living their life the right way, that doesn t mean it ll be right for you. There are lots of people in the world that want everyone to be just like them. They want to control what you do, how you dress, even what you believe. I choose to live my life with a different set of rules where individuals have more choice, where the world is more diverse, and yet where strong people with vision can step forward and inspire others to achieve great things together. If that sounds more like you, than I invite you to follow us as we go on an incredible journey over the next 4 days to some amazing places. To explore some areas of your heart and mind that maybe you never looked in before. To laugh and dance and sing. and yes, maybe even cry a little. But we ll know we re alive and when we come out on the other side we ll be better people for it. And we ll have learned a lot about ourselves and each other. Academy The last letter of our RYLA stands for Academy. To tell you the truth, Rotary International thinks it stands for Awards. The original intention was for this conference to be an award for outstanding high school leaders. But we didn t completely agree with that vision, so we changed it! We believe that RYLA is not just a 4 day fling, a nice award for being a good little Interact Officer. Oh, no! RYLA is more like an Academy! An on-going learning experience that constantly offers more and more challenges, and more and more benefits! Every year about 50 young people try out to become Counselors for the next RYLA. The reason these people want to come back to RYLA so badly, after they already went through the exact same program, is because RYLA is a very special experience. I ve been a Trainer at some of the top Corporate Leadership seminars. These seminars cost up to $900 per day! PLUS room and board and transportation! And RYLA has many of the same tools, techniques, skills and knowledge that they have, but you get to come for free. You are getting a fantastic bargain! RYLA 19

20 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook RYLA Getting & Giving excepted from What is a Leader? by David GoWell What you can expect to get out of RYLA and what you need to put into it. There was once a group of travelers traveling by horseback through a distant land on a moonless night. The came upon a wide, swiftly moving river, and standing on their side of the river was an old wise man, wondering how he was going to get across. They offered him a ride, which he gratefully accepted. When they got to the other side he told them to get off their horses, go to the river and scoop up some pebbles from the bottom. It was an odd request, but they did as he instructed. Then they all went their separate ways. Hours later, when the sun came up, the travelers remembered the pebbles and reached into their pockets to look at them. They were amazed and delighted to see that they were actually precious gems! But they were all very sorry they hadn t picked up more of them. The RYLA training program is chock full of precious gems of knowledge - try to scoop up as many gems here as you can! You ll have no idea how valuable they will be until later. Here are four gems you can collect at RYLA: Knowledge: This is cutting edge information, that will give you a tremendous advantage over others. How to make friends, how to communicate more effectively, how to lead teams, how to solve problems. We ll even teach you how to feel great whenever you want! Experience: I m talking about profound, hands-on experience with emotional impact and long-lasting effect. Contacts: In this room, sitting right next to you are some of the most intelligent, dedicated youth leaders in New Jersey. You are about to become very good friends with many of them. These contacts could serve you for many years. Friends: That s the most important thing of all. These are friends who will stay with you your whole life. You don t have to pay any money to get all this priceless knowledge and experience -- but there is a price. If you want to get all you can out of this program, than you have to put a lot in. You have to put in your energy, your enthusiasm, your talents and your skills. Are you prepared to do all that? What you need to do So what do you need to do, to get all this out of RYLA? Remember: You only get out of life what you put into it. If you re practicing for a sport, or trying to learn a musical instrument, and you only practice halfheartedly, or once in a while, what happens? Do you improve a little or a lot? But what happens when you give it your all? What do you get? A lot! So if you want to get a lot out of RYLA, you have to want to put a lot into it. Right? 20 RYLA

21 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook Think Outside the Box Good Leaders need to think in new ways or think outside the box. Most people have heard that expression many times, but don t really understand the concept. The essence of learning is doing new things. You have to be willing to experiment, try new things, get weird! Here s a little game we played at RYLA. Try it out on your friends and family: I have 9 dots here. If I wanted to connect all 9 dots with a continuous series of lines, without lifting the chalk from the board, I could do it like this: With 7 lines. Or like this..with 6 lines. Or like this.with 5 lines. Do you think it can be done with only 4 lines? Can you connect these 9 dots with only four straight lines, without lifting your pen off the paper? (Let your friends try a few times before showing them the solution.) Almost everyone who tries this keeps their lines within the boundaries of an imaginary box that they impose upon themselves. Thinking outside the box means training your mind to see things in new ways and freeing yourself from self-imposed limitations. Play Hard! The second thing you can do is to participate, but not just by showing up. You have to be involved. There was once an old man that prayed to God and said, God, I ve been a good man all my life and I d like to ask of you one small favor. I d like to win the lottery. He waited a week and found that he hadn t won, so he prayed again and said, Please God! I m just asking for one small favor! Let me win the lottery! He waited a week and found that he still hadn t won, so he prayed a third time and said, Yo, God! I don t think I m asking for too much! Just let me win the lottery, one time. Come on, cut me a break! Suddenly the sky got dark and threatening and thunder boomed and lightning flashed and a big deep voice came out of the heavens, which said, Cut ME a break at least, buy a ticket! At RYLA most of our lessons are fun and it seems more like playing than learning. But you can play in a lazy way, or you can Play Hard! You have to do more than just participate, you have to Participate Enthusiastically! You have to be willing to jump up and down a bit and get into it! Follow our Lead We try to treat everyone with respect and listen to their ideas. But we also acknowledge that increased experience usually results in a broader, more accurate perspective. So we expect all of our participants and staff to follow the lead of the people who have more experience on the path. We try to treat everyone like adults and give them a lot of freedom, but if someone refuses to follow our lead, we send them home. RYLA 21

22 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook The Basic Lessons of RYLA It s hard to believe that RYLA is less than three and a half days long. That s only 83 hours, including 10 or 12 hours you might have wasted sleeping! What is truly incredible is the amount of knowledge, skills, insights and wisdom that you can accumulate it that very short period of time. It is also amazing how much personal growth can take place in a few short days. Here are some of the main programs and learning experiences that you encountered at RYLA: Saturday Registration people grabbing your bags Ice Breakers Confusion finding team classroom Group Challenge Game What is a Leader? Cooperation during Banner Game Sunday Truth / Board Breaking Leading Your Friends Challenge Games Movie Night Spirituality Gathering Monday Goal Setting Workshop Whole Earth Game Trust Exercises Induction Ceremony Tues Wrap Up What I See in You Letter to Self Recognition Ceremony On the following 9 pages you ll find an explanation of what we were trying to teach you during each of these activities. After you read them, come back and record any additional things you learned, insights you received, or personal growth you experienced at RYLA. 22 RYLA

23 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook Registration people grabbing your bags Having strange people help you with your bags is a weird experience for most young people. Unless you are used to staying in fancy hotels, this almost never happens to you. It feels a bit uncomfortable for a couple of reasons. You feel guilty that someone else is doing your work for you. You are surprised that a stranger wants to be so nice to you, for no good reason. And you are maybe a little suspicious of someone who wants to take your personal things out of your control. We knew this would freak you out a little bit. (Many kids make comments about it later.) So why do we do it? Having this strange set of feelings when you first arrive at RYLA is a very appropriate place to start our unique training program. It shows you that this will be a very different experience for you. It shows you that the people here are very caring and helpful and want you to have a good time. It gives you a hint that you won t always be in control, but that that is not a terrible thing. We also do this for the Counselors, themselves. Being a counselor and grabbing people s bags and being so outgoing and friendly is a real kick. First, it reminds them about what it felt like last year being a brand new Leader so it brings back a lot of great memories. Second, it offers a sense of balance. It feels fair and right that they get to switch roles this year and show someone new a good time. It also feels good to be so friendly and do favors for people. Finally, since the Counselors already know exactly what is in store for the Leaders over the next 3 days, it s fun ushering them into this experience, while keeping all those secrets. Ice Breakers It s possible to have a good time with almost any group of people. There is often an initial reluctance to open up and interact with strangers, but with a little encouragement, almost anyone can do it. Breaking that ice is a little difficult, at first, but it feels very good, once you do. The facilitator of this process doesn t have to do very much. It s enough to be pleasant, confident and have a few specific activities planned. If presented in a confident way (as if you fully expect everyone will participate) almost everyone will participate and the group will begin to interact, get to know each other and have a good time. Team Meetings RYLA 23

24 The Incomplete Leaders Handbook Group Challenge Game After the Sr Counselor Orientation they took you outside to perform a complex set of activities. It seemed like a big competition between the teams, to see who could win. But in fact, it was totally impossible for any 1 team to win this game by themselves. Even 4 or 5 teams working together could not solve this problem. It took every team, working together in harmony, to solve the problem. Not everything in life is like this. There are some situations where a single individual, or a small team, must beat all others to accomplish the goal. The Olympic Games is a good example. But these are actually relatively rare. There are far more situations in life where cooperation will produce better results than competition. What is a Leader? This topic is covered in its own section, which follows this one. Cooperation during Banner Game During the Banner-making exercise, you discovered again that what is impossible for a small group is easy for a large group. By giving you a task to do, but not enough basic materials to complete it, we forced you to once again look outside of your box for other ways to solve your problems. You found that every Team was in the same situation they didn t have enough materials but that each Team had different materials. By sharing them you discovered that there were plenty of materials to go around, and a far wider variety than you ever imagined. Truth / Board Breaking Here you learned that we often set limits for ourselves and that it s very difficult to achieve anything that you have decided is impossible for you. On the other hand, if you believe in yourself, if you truly believe that your dreams can come true, if you find someone who has already achieved your dream to show you how it s done, if you apply yourself diligently you can accomplish amazing things that you once thought were impossible. Leading Your Friends Throughout your life you will probably encounter many situations where you have to lead (or be led by) your friends or family members. In this session you explored some of the special difficulties that are inherent in those situations. Sometimes our friends will expect special favors, just because they are friends. They might expect you to look the other way if they do poor work. They may react very badly to being told what to do, or told they must improve. Challenge Games You were presented with a series of strange challenges and given limited resources to work with. Sometimes you found that you had to use your wits to figure out a strategy that would work. But there were 12 other people suggesting ideas at the same time how do you decide whose idea to try and when to give up on it and try something else? Other times you found that your Team just didn t have enough resources to complete the task alone and you needed to team up with the team you thought was your competition. Each challenge required a different strategy to solve, so you learned to be flexible and quickly adapt your strategy to your environment. 24 RYLA

25 The Rotary Youth Leaders Academy Counselors Handbook Then you got together with a few other people and discussed a group of characters who were all involved in a complicated mess of inter-personal relationships. Since you didn t have all the facts you were forced to make assumptions about what these people were really like and why they did the things they did. When forced to evaluate these characters and arrange them on a scale from best to worst, your small group may have had an easy or a difficult time. But when you compared your results with other small groups, you found that there were many, many ways of perceiving the same situation. Other people were equally adamant that they were right, as you were that they were dead wrong. When you got to meet our comical representations of these characters you found that it was very easy to make incorrect assumptions about people. The characters you thought were the worst turned out to be not so bad while the characters you thought were relatively good turned out to be the most despicable. What you learned from that is that we never know the whole story about any person. So any assumptions we make about other people are highly subjective and may possibly be completely false. You should also have learned that people can form opposing opinions very quickly, and be willing to fight for the validity of those opinions, based on very little evidence. The next time you listen to two people arguing about politics, remember this exercise. Movie Night The first thing you should have learned at Movie Night is that it s important to cut loose and have some fun, once in a while. Constantly being told where to go and when to go and where to sit can get a little old and it s a very refreshing break to relax a bit. The Princess Bride is an amazing movie with a huge variety of comedy, drama, love, action and adventure. It contains many strong characters, each with their own agenda. How these characters attempt to get their own way is fascinating. They employ many different strategies. In the end, some get what they want and some do not. As Grandpa said, Who told you life was fair? Where is that written? By studying a character you got an opportunity to see what motivated that character and made him tick. You probably empathized with your character to some extent and it was fairly easy to convince yourself that your character was the best leader. When you consider that these were comic-book characters with exaggerated characteristics, is it any wonder that people can have the opinion that George Bush is an excellent leader and Barak Obama is not or the exact opposite? Spirituality Gathering People learn many things at the Spirituality Gathering and it s impossible to predict what any person will learn or come away with. Maybe you discovered that other people carry some of the same hurts that you do. Maybe you discovered it is OK for you to show your weaknesses or your strengths in front of others. Maybe you learned to express your emotions, or accept love from a stranger. We hope you learned that humans have a deep spiritual connection with each other and with something greater. Goal Setting Workshop In this session you learned a lot about goals: what they are, how they affect your life, how to create them, how to set them for yourself and how to achieve them. You began creating a list of personal goals in three areas: School & Career, Personal and Things. You RYLA 25