Being more authentic as a leader From 6.00pm on Thursday, June 21st 2018 until 3.30pm on Friday, June 22nd Background Note and Agenda for our 20th Leadership Conversation Society of Leadership Fellows, St George's House, Windsor Castle
Authenticity is about being true to who you are. Michael Jordan Authentic leadership is the full expression of me for the benefit of we. Henna Inam The power for authentic leadership is found not in external arrangements, but in the human heart. Parker J. Palmer 2 Being more authentic as a leader
Authentic Not attaching too much baggage to this word Authentic is one of those words that we all feel rather mixed about, isn t it Yes, we want to be more authentic, of course we do. And yet the more the term is used the more it can lose its meaning as it becomes yet another example of management jargon that is often given significance way beyond its natural meaning. We love Michael Jordan s definition of authenticity as being true to who you are. That works, doesn t it. It doesn t over-claim for the term. So we propose that we treat authentic as inter-changeable with being true to who we are. This way, we can make sure that we don t attach too much baggage to the term. It helps to give us a clear challenge at this Conversation: How can you be more AUTHENTIC as a leader so that you become true to who you are - and in the process experience yourself having a GREATER IMPACT as a leader Being more authentic as a leader 3
A Conversation in three parts We will engage with this Conversation in three parts. As always, each Part will start with us talking through our responses to one or two carefully focused questions in small (standing) groups for 15 minutes or so. Part One Our opening questions: On a spectrum from 0 to 10, where 0 means that you think you are not at all authentic as a leader and 10 means that you are as authentic as you could realistically expect to be, how authentic do you think you now ARE as a leader Depending upon the number that you come up with, can you please tell us the one or two things that you think you would need to start doing - or stop doing, or do differently - in order to become MORE AUTHENTIC There are two things that we are trying to understand in this first Part of the Conversation: 1 How authentic we generally think we are as a group in our respective leadership roles 2 The leadership behaviours that we are not demonstrating much or maybe too much! and we need to do something about to increase our authenticity as leaders. 4 Being more authentic as a leader
Part One Continued How we define our comfort zone So often, the answer that we each give to these sorts of questions about how real we are as leaders is to do with how we each define our own comfort zone. For example, some of us tend to hold back from having difficult conversations with colleagues, and refrain from upward challenging of our CEO or our Chair or Board Director. This is one of the main traits of conflict-averse leaders, and a significant proportion of leaders are conflict-averse to one degree or another. l It is the scale of the no go zones beyond our comfort zone that so often result in us feeling that we are not as authentic as we might be. In this opening lap, we want to draw out each of you who scored yourselves with less than 10 on what this really means to you - and how you regard yourself as a leader. In what sorts of ways are you falling short of making the difference that you think you should be making Being more authentic as a leader 5
Part Two By around 10.00am on Friday morning we will move on to Part Two. At this stage, our thinking is that the question for groups should be: What is it about YOU (rather than your organisation or your work colleagues or your family culture) that holds you back from being the authentic leader that you want to be This is one of those moments when it would be so easy for us all to explain to each other how our organisations/ communities/ families/ partners and friends all conspire to hold us back from being the authentic leaders that we want to be! With great respect, we just don t want to go there. We want to keep focused on you. Engaging with the Conversation as empowered leaders We want to be very deliberate in engaging with the Conversation as empowered leaders who could, if we wish, do more to enable ourselves to be more authentic as leaders. First, though, we need to understand more about what it is about us and our comfort zones and habits as leaders that is holding us back from acting as the leaders that we want to be. 6 Being more authentic as a leader
Part Two Continued Offering challenge and not just sympathy Imagine that we re all now in Windsor, and you re an Executive Director and say that: You don t always say what you think at Executive team meetings because you feel that the meeting culture is very compliant, and your CEO becomes visibly irritated when anyone rocks the boat by challenging or questioning something that she is known to favour. Instead of just sympathising with you and saying how frustrating this must be for you, we hope that other Leadership Fellows in your small group will ask you questions such as: l Have you raised this in a one-to-one with your CEO l Have you compared notes with one or two other Executive Director colleagues who you think might feel the same, so that when one of you questions or challenges something that incurs a frown from the CEO you know that another one of you is ready to offer support This is the stage when we all need to be prepared to question each other to get behind the initial propositions that we each come up with to explain what is holding us each back from being a more authentic leader. By the end of Part Two, we should have come up with a wide range of ideas and insights that are helpful to us all in engaging with the challenge of stepping forward to become more authentic and present as a leader. Being more authentic as a leader 7
Part Three The thinking behind our opening question We expect to move onto Part Three to coincide with lunch being served in the Vicars Hall at 12.30. Before sharing the question that we want to consider then, we first want to explain our thinking behind it, because it s not immediately obvious and our sense is that embracing the importance of asking ourselves this question is as important as the specific answers that we each come up with. So, please imagine that it s Christmas 2018 and over the past six months various people with whom you work closely have made a point of saying that they think you are now more authentic as a leader. They feel that you re more confident about offering them more of yourself in your dealings with them and they respect and value you more as a result. Please now picture yourself in a year s time, by which time you have become still more authentic and empowered. Now think of your job is it the same one as you have at the moment, or a different one If you say you ve managed to achieve all of this change in the same job, can you tell us how those people who were rather boxing you in and keeping you down not so long ago are now behaving. If they are all hunky-dory now, and behaving so differently from how they were before, may we ask you a one-word question: WHY We re not trying in any way to detract from the collective support that you now have, and your positive vision of the future. We just want to press you on what you expect to have done to help these colleagues switch from occasionally irritable critics into fans and champions of yours. 8 Being more authentic as a leader
Part Three Continued You might sidestep this sort of challenge by saying that you plan to be in a different job in 2019. If so, we will ask, How much is it the JOB that will enable you to become more authentic as a leader, and how much is it YOU being able to change your leadership behaviours because the job represents a fresh start Needing to reposition ourselves So often in our Leadership Conversations a number of us will recognise things that we re doing that are getting in our own way as leaders and then be very quick to assume that once we start changing some of our behaviours, all will be fine and everything will slot into place. If only! Our experience is that the process of changing our own leadership behaviours in order to persuade and encourage others to change some of theirs can be rather a long and zig-zagging process, and to achieve what we want we often need to reposition ourselves quite significantly in the eyes of our colleagues. So, our proposition is this: l More often than not, if you want to step into a more authentic role as a leader, this is usually best achieved when you can position this as part of a wider strategy for your own business, or your Board or Executive leadership team. Being more authentic as a leader 9
Part Three Continued In other words, l Your strategy to become a more authentic leader needs to become part of a wider strategy to benefit the organisation that you help to lead. In the process, you should create a oneness of purpose between your wider strategy for your organisation and your personal strategy for becoming more authentic as a leader. This is why you should be able to develop a new common interest with those whose behaviours towards you have sometimes been other than helpful in the past. Our Part Three question for small groups We hope this explains why we will start off in Part Three asking you to consider the following question in small groups over lunch on the Friday: What do you see as the wider strategy that you want to propose to your organisation that should enable you to step forward more as an authentic leader We expect that some of you will find this easier to answer than others, which is why we have built in time in our session after lunch to support those who are not sure about what this wider strategy might look like. This is the sort of stage when some people can achieve a real breakthrough in their thinking as a result of other Fellows diving in with ideas and advice. 10 Being more authentic as a leader
Final Session Each agreeing three stretching resolves In all of our Leadership Conversations, our resolve is that by the end every member of the group will have some clear and challenging personal outcomes that you can take back to your organisation and begin to draw on straight away to increase your impact as a leader. This is why in the final round of small groups at 2.20pm we break you into groups of two to support each other in coming up with three really stretching resolves that you bring back to the final session and share with the rest of us. It is remarkable how much we can all gain from this final 50 minutes that we have together, not least because our no recycling ground rule means that it s not an option for anyone to repeat anything that you have already shared with the group! Being more authentic as a leader 11
September 20 video link-up In the final minutes of the Conversation we will also arrange a time in September for a follow-up video link-up to swap notes, so that we can hear how much progress others have made and inspire each other once again as we all continue the process that in many ways never stops of seeking to become more authentic as leaders. Suggested time for Video Link-up: 10.00 to 11.15am on Thursday September 20th, 2018 12 Being more authentic as a leader
Agenda Thursday June 21st, 2018 2.30pm onwards You are welcome to check into your room in St George s House 4.30pm Tea in the House for those joining Evensong in the Chapel 5.05 pm Evensong (optional) 6.00pm Vicars' Hall 7.30pm 7.45pm 10.00pm Refreshments, then start of the Conversation. After agreeing our guiding principles for the Conversation, we break into small groups to consider our opening questions for Part One (page 4) After feedback and debate, we agree on one or two key issues to explore over dinner Free time/ drinks until dinner is served promptly at 8.30pm Private floodlit tour of St George s Chapel (optional) Friday June 22nd, 2018 7.45am Breakfast is served in St George s House 8.45am We hear any overnight reflections as we try to understand more about what you see as the consequences for yourselves as leaders of not being fully authentic. We then move on to Part Two and our opening question on page 6. We break into new groups, moving in and out of small groups as we move our thinking forward. At around 12.15 we move on to consider the challenging question that opens Part Three of the Conversation (on page 10), and split into small groups 12.30pm 1.15pm 2.20pm 2.40pm A hot buffet lunch is served in the Vicars Hall and we work together in our groups on our Part Three question We hear your feedback from groups, asking who feels confident that you are developing a strategy for becoming more authentic as a leader and who is not so confident that you are yet charting an effective way ahead for yourself. As this session goes on, we focus mainly on those who are not so confident about your way ahead, supporting you in identifying the one or two leadership behaviours that you would most like to sharpen up or adopt - in order to become more authentic as a leader We break into 2 s to sharpen up three stretching resolves to support each of you in stepping forward decisively as a truly authentic leader. Refreshments available In this final session, as we each share our resolves, we ask you to adopt a ground rule of no recycling, under which we all agree not to repeat views that we have already shared in the Vicars Hall. As we share our resolves there is time for positive challenge across the group before we conclude this Leadership Conversation. We will finish on the dot of 3.30pm. Being more authentic as a leader 13
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Oscar Wilde 14 Being more authentic as a leader