Washington, DC Leadership Speech Good afternoon. Leadership. According to Groucho Marx, only one man in a thousand is a leader of men the other 999 follow women. When I first started in my career, my Father, who was a great leader, gave me some advice in reference to industry, community and charitable activities. He said give money or time, but not both, and certainly not both at the same time. I took that to heart, and didn t pay any attention, but that s what sons and daughters do. When I was growing up, I had a sign in my room that said Please, I would rather make my own mistakes. And now that I am a little older and wiser, I know it is important to learn from the mistakes of others, because I can t possibly live long enough to make them all myself. I also know that at this stage and age in my life, my mind makes appointments that my body can t keep. Speaking of stages, do you know the four stages of a man s life? Here they are. First, when you are very young, you believe in Santa Clause. Then you become a little older and don t believe in Santa Clause. Next you are married with children, and you are Santa Clause, and finally, in stage four, you look like Santa Clause. So, let s talk about the leadership stages of my life. Over the years, I ve tried to balance my life and maintain the MDRT Whole Person concept, and I ve never lost sight of my priorities. The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose, and life is a list of things to do. Focus on first
things first. In my case, family first; everything else a distant second. It wasn t until my daughters were older that I gave more time to the community and our industry. My perspective of our industry has been a little biased, as I grew up listening to my father talk about selling life insurance, but not just selling products. He taught me why people needed our products and what our products do, not just what they are. So my career has been all about teaching people about what insurance does, not just what it is. And he taught me the magic of life insurance. Creating money where none existed before with a piece of paper, a drop of ink and a few pennies of premium. Giving families security, dignity and peace of mind. Insurance products are tools to solve financial problems, and I am a teacher of financial problem solving. That is why I entered management with New York Life, to teach and motivate other agents to become problem solvers, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time as a manager. And I am still teaching today. As the CEO for the LIFE Foundation, I have the opportunity to work with agents and companies across the USA, write articles and blogs and do interviews with financial reporters for many publications. I am still reaching out to teach, share and motivate people to make the appropriate decisions, to practice family values, to maintain a balance between work and family, to talk to clients about what is important and not what is popular. I ve always been a mentor to help other agents move to the next level, to move beyond their comfort zone and reach for that next level of production and professionalism. It has been my
privilege to work with many of you over the years, and each instance has been a learning experience which has helped make me a better person, a better leader, businessman, husband and Father. And today, I am exactly where I m supposed to be doing exactly what I am supposed to do. Teaching, mentoring, motivating. I was recently asked at a meeting in Dallas if I had my choice of any three people to have dinner with, who would I select. It was a good question, and an easy choice. It would be my wife and two daughters. My wife, Vicki, has been the single most important person in my life and career decisions. Vicki and I are high school sweethearts, married two days after I graduated from college and this month will celebrate our 45 th anniversary. 10 days after our wedding, I signed my career contract with New York Life, and I have never had any regrets about my career choice. Those of you that know me understand that I believe in a focused balanced life based on three values; family, productivity, and professionalism. Before Vicki and I were married, while we were in our early years of college, we discussed how we wanted to live our lives and raise our family. We really didn t know what we were doing at the time, but what we established was a Life Plan. And with revisions, we still follow this plan today. One of our priorities was to be there for our children, not just quality time, but quantity also. There were many times when we were at an event that wasn t convenient for us, or where I might be the only father attending, but we made a point of being there. You need to be there when they need you, not just when it s convenient. Your children only grow up once. You don t get a second chance to raise them.
My career has been challenging and exciting. Challenging because while I grew up understanding what insurance products do, when I started my career, I didn t know how to sell them. Like all new agents, I had to learn the basics, and I started in an office 200 miles from my father presenting prospects $10,000 whole life policies telling them how these worked when they lived, died or quit; the old three way security plan. Today, this sales track probably wouldn t get through compliance. This is still what we do now, but in a more sophisticated manner. By the way, this was $10,000 of face amount, not premium. My first MDRT meeting was in 1975, eight years after I started in this industry. As you can see, I was not an overnight success. I struggled like everyone else. I hated prospecting, and still do today. When I first started as an agent, I expected everyone to buy, but my experience was so different from what I expected that I thought about quitting once or twice per day. Now I hope my health lasts long enough that I never need to quit, and besides, my wife said she married me for better or worse, but not for retirement. As I look back at our industry, I can point to three sources which have contributed directly to my success. First, my father; he taught me to think big; to add a zero to the solution; to understand that the size of the problem and the price tag for the solution are all relative to the individual s net worth and income; to not be afraid to recommend the proper amounts of insurance even if the number of zeros made me uncomfortable. My job was and is to recommend the proper solution to solve the client s problems. Problems and solutions. They go hand in hand.
MDRT allowed me to rub shoulders with the best of the best in our industry. It became my super size study group where I could pick up the phone and call someone for advice and guidance. It allowed me to develop and refine my leadership skills and become a better mentor for the agents I was fortunate enough to work with. Many MDRT members are in the audience today, and I thank you for these opportunities. But MDRT is more than a study group. It is a leadership training center where I learned how to manage multiple type A personalities, and I know we have none of those in the audience today. MDRT allowed me to refine my skills on managing people, to let other people take the credit and glory for a job well done which makes them want to work harder and smarter in completing their tasks; to acknowledge and thank everybody from top to bottom; to make myself accessible to everybody. Here is a suggestion for you to try. When you send out holiday cards during the year, include secretaries, assistants and client staff. If you do this, the next time you call a client, their staff will remember who you are. Send cards when nobody expects them. I like to send Halloween cards, because nobody else does, and these cards are remembered and appreciated. One of the problem areas for leaders is to not get caught up in the hype of being a leader. Here is an example of how to avoid this. When you walk into a room, look for people who are standing by themselves, go up to them and introduce yourself; start a conversation. Don t let your success get in the way of remembering how you started.
The third group is my study group, all New York Life agents who have been and are still at the top of their game. These men have been my sounding board and emotional support over the years. They have no hesitation in telling me when I m going in the wrong direction or if there is a better solution for my client. Many times it was their guidance I needed to maintain my focus in our industry, and I am fortunate to call them all friends. How many of you are or have been in a study group? Let me share some additional details on why my study group has been so significant in developing my leadership skills. Our group has been in existence for 40 years with a written set of by laws. It specifies that membership is limited to 10 people, but we normally have eight. Chairmanship rotates each year, and the chairman is responsible during his year for all logistics pertaining to the weeklong meeting including invited guests and all financial details. We have very open discussions about our lives, families and practices where we discuss problems and solutions, see what works, what doesn t work and go home with ideas we can implement. So, what are some of these lessons from the past 45 years? Pay attention to number one. It is the most important. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. Prioritize and focus on first things first, because life rewards action. Planning produces profits. Establish goals, priorities and deadlines.
I ve learned every problem in our industry has a solution, and every solution is an opportunity. The price tag for the solution may be as simple as paying the premium on a policy. Life is about helping others. It is not about you or me, and if you are lucky, you find a career that brings meaning to your life. Success is about making a difference, not just about making money. Do what you do best and delegate the rest. That s called efficiency. Know what you know. Know what you don t know. Know when to say no. Simplify your life. Most stuff just doesn t matter. Eliminate the unnecessary and the unimportant. Concentrate on the significant. Avoid problem people. We are lucky in that we can pick and choose our clients. No matter how you feel, if you expect to be a leader, get up, dress up and show up. You must be willing to fail in order to succeed. Failing is not failure unless you fail to try again. Always finish what you start; don t procrastinate. Ask the question, What is my #1 priority right now? Then do it! Make a difference it s so important to the people you serve. Allow me to share a story with you about making a difference. Some years ago, one of my best clients was killed in a plane crash. We had done all the insurance planning during the preceding years, and the insurance products were in place for his company and his family. Within two weeks of his untimely death, I was delivering the insurance proceeds.
The week prior to the business trip on which he was killed, I had a meeting with my client in his office to discuss life insurance on his Chief Financial Officer. The insurance was going to benefit both the company and the CFO's family. My client said he would sign all the necessary paperwork when he returned from his business trip. That would have been fine, except his CFO was traveling with him, and when he and the CFO died on that plane crash, the paperwork for the new insurance was still on my client's desk, unsigned. While I delivered checks to my client's family, I delivered none to the CFO's. I didn't make enough of a difference. Over the years, I ve developed a set of values which I have shared with many of you. It is a comparison between leaders and losers. In closing, I would like to share it with you today. A Loser resents successful people and rationalizes their achievements. A Leader respects successful people and tries to learn from them. A Loser denies. A leader explains. A Loser says, There is no way. A Leader says, Let s find a way.
A Loser avoids problems. A Leader solves problems. A Loser says, There is no better solution. A Leader finds a better solution. A Loser says, I m sorry, but continues to make the same mistakes. A Leader shows he is sorry by making up for a mistake. A Loser compromises when he shouldn t and fights for the insignificant. A Leader knows when to fight and when to comprise. A Loser is always too busy to do what is necessary to be successful, While a Leader works harder than a loser and has more time. A Loser is secretly afraid of winning. A Leader is not afraid of losing. A Loser makes promises. A Leader makes commitments. This is an audience of Leaders. Thank you.