TRAINING IN INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Fifth Edition TRAINING IN INTERPERSONAL SKILLS TIPS for Managing People at Work Stephen P. Robbins San Diego State University Phillip L. Hunsaker University of San Diego PEARSON Prentice Hall PEARSON EDUCATION INTERNATIONAL

Contents Preface xxv PARTI: SELF-AWARENESS 1 CHAPTER 1 Skills: An Introduction 1 Interpersonal Skills and Effective Management Behavior 1 Behaviors 1 Motivation 2 Skills 2 The Need for Skills Training 3 Defining the Key Interpersonal Skills 3 Learning the Skills 4 Can Interpersonal Skills Be Taught? 4 The Importance of Teaching Skills 5 How Do You Teach Skills? 5 Guidelines for Participating in Chapter Exercises 7 Summary and Coming Attractions 8 CHAPTER 2 Self-Awareness: A Point of Departure 11 Self-Assessment Exercise: Assessing Your Self-Awareness 11 Scoring and Interpretation 12 Skill Concepts 12 Why Increase Your Self-Awareness? 12 How to Increase Your Self-Awareness 13 Self-Awareness Questionnaires (SAQ) 17 SAQ 1: Learning Style 17 SAQ 2: Interpersonal Needs Questionnaire (FIRO-B) 20 SAQ 3:Assertiveness Questionnaire 24 SAQ 4: The Big Five Locator Questionnaire 26 SAQ 5: Cognitive Style 30 ix

X Contents Summarizing Your Self-Awareness Profile 36 Concept Quiz 37 Behavioral Checklist 38 Group Exercises 38 i Exercise 1: Checking Self-Assessments with Feedback from Others 38 Exercise 2: Developing a Team Resume 39 Summary Checklist 39 Application Questions 39 Reinforcement Exercises 40 Action Plan 40 CHAPTER 3 Self-Management: Clarifying Values, Setting Goals, and Planning 43 Self-Assessment Exercise: How Well Do I Plan And Set Goals? 43 Scoring and Interpretation 44 Skill Concepts 44 What Is Self-Management? 45 What Are Your Values? 45 Personal Goal Setting 46 Personal Mission Statements 46 Strategies for Effective Goal Setting 46 Planning 47 Concept Quiz 48 Behavioral Checklist 48 Modeling Exercise 49 The A lligator River 49 Group Exercises 50 Group Exercise 1: What Are Your Values? 50 Group Exercise 2: Write Your Eulogy 51 Group Exercise 3: Determine Your Personal Mission Statement 52 Summary Checklist 52 Application Questions 52 Reinforcement Exercises 53 Action Plan 53

CHAPTER 4 Applying Emotional Intelligence 55 Self-Assessment Exercise: What's Your Emotional Intelligence? 55 Scoring 56 Interpretation 56 Skill Concepts 56 What is Emotional Intelligence? 56 Emotional Competence 57 Self and Other Dimensions of El 57 What Research Tells Us about El 58 What Can You Do To Apply El? 59 Concept Quiz 61 Behavioral Checklist 62 Modeling Exercise 62 Changes in Company Travel Policy 62 Observer's Rating Sheet 65 Group Exercises 66 Group Exercise 1: Action/Reaction 66 Group Exercise 2: Thinking It Through and Talking It Over 67 Group Exercise 3: Head versus Heart 68 Questions for Group Discussion 68 Summary Checklist 69 Application Questions 69 Reinforcement Exercises 69 Action Plan 70 PART II: COMMUNICATING 73 CHAPTER 5 Sending Interpersonal Messages 73 Contents XI Self-Assessment Exercise: What Are My Message-Sending Habits? 73 Scoring and Interpretation 74 Skill Concepts 74 How Do People Communicate? 74 What Skills Are Required to Send Messages Effectively? 75 Concept Quiz 78 Behavioral Checklist 79

~ XII Contents Modeling Exercise 79 Sending Messages With and Without Feedback 79 Discussion Questions 81 Group Exercises 81 Group Exercise 1: "A Difference of Opinion" 81 Observer's Rating Sheet 83 Group Exercise 2: Communicating Feelings 84 Instructions 84 Feeling Statements in Interpersonal Situations 84 Group Exercise 3: Your Message-Sending Behavior 84 Summary Checklist 85 Application Questions 85 Reinforcement Exercises 85 Action Plan 86 CHAPTER 6 Listening and Reading Nonverbal Messages 88 Self-Assessment Exercise: My Listening Habits 88 Scoring and Interpretation 88 Skill Concepts 89 Active Versus Passive Listening 89 What We Know About Effective Listening 90 Reading Nonverbal Messages 92 Concept Quiz 95 Behavioral Checklist 96 Modeling Exercise 97 Job Interview Role-Play 97 Observer's Rating Sheet 99 Group Exercises 100 Group Exercise 1: Promotion Decision 100 Group Exercise 2: A Debate 100 Group Exercise 3: Computer Breakdown Emergency 101 Group Exercise 4: Interpreting Body Language 101 Observer's Rating Sheet 103 Summary Checklist 104 Application Questions 104 Reinforcement Exercises 104 Action Plan 105

CHAPTER 7 Providing Feedback 107 Self-Assessment Exercise: My Feedback Style 107 Scoring and Interpretation 107 Skill Concepts 107 The Value of Feedback 108 Positive versus Negative Feedback 108 What We Know about Providing Feedback 109 Concept Quiz 110 Behavioral Checklist 111 Modeling Exercise 111 How Is Your Instructor Doing? Instructions 111 Debriefing 112 Observer's Rating Sheet 113 Group Exercises 114 Ill Contents XIII Group Exercise 1: Reviewing the Resident Manager 114 Group Exercise 2: McDonald's on Probation 115 Group Exercise 3: Reining in Barry 116 Observer's Rating Sheet 118 Summary Checklist 119 Application Questions 119 Reinforcement Exercises 119 Action Plan 120 CHAPTER 8 Communicating Across Cultures 122 Self-Assessment Exercise: How Well Do I Communicate with People from Different Cultures? 122 Scoring and Interpretation 122 Skill Concepts 123 Global Cultural Differences 123 Different Cultures Interpret, Behave, and Interact Differently 123 The Same Words Mean Different Things to People from Different Cultures 123 The Same Nonverbal Behavior Means Different Things to People from Different Cultures 123 Stereotypes Can Cause Misunderstanding 124 Gender Differences 124

XIV Contents Guidelines for Improving Cross-Cultural Communication 125 Assume Differences until Similarity is Proven 125 Emphasize Description Rather than Interpretation or Evaluation 125 Empathize with the Person from Another Culture 125 Treat Your Interpretations as Guesses Until You Can Confirm Them 125 Concept Quiz 126 Behavioral Checklist 126 Modeling Exercise 127 The Jimmy Lincoln Case 127 Worksheet: Jimmy Lincoln Decision 129 Observer's Rating Sheet 130 Group Exercises 131 Group Exercise 1: What Just Happened? 131 Observer's Rating Sheet 133 Group Exercise 2: Being Less Direct 134 Group Exercise 3: The Good Worker 134 Summary Checklist 135 Application Questions 136 Reinforcement Exercises 136 Action Plan 136 PART III: MOTIVATING 139 CHAPTER 9 Goal Setting 139 Self-Assessment Exercise: Setting Goals for Subordinates Scoring and Interpretation 139 Skill Concepts 140 The Basics of Effective Goals 140 How to Set Goals 141 Obtaining Goal Commitment 142 Concept Quiz 144 Behavioral Checklist 144 Modeling Exercise 145 Setting Goals at State Bank of Vermont 145 Observer's Rating Sheet 147 139

Contents XV Group Exercises 148 Group Exercise 1: Goals for Probation 148 Group Exercise 2: New Faculty Goals 149 Group Exercise 3: Coaching Goals 150 Observer's Rating Sheet 152 Summary Checklist 153 Application Questions 153 Reinforcement Exercises 153 Action Plan 154 CHAPTER 10 Coaching, Counseling, and Mentoring 156 Self-Assessment Exercise: Developing People 156 Scoring and Interpretation 156 Skill Concepts 157 Helping Others 157 Determine the Source of the Problem 157 Demonstrate Positive Regard 159 Provide Meaningful Feedback for Learning 159 Coaching to Improve Performance 160 Counseling to Resolve Personal Problems 160 Facilitate Problem Recognition and Solutions 161 Maintain Confidentiality 161 Clarify Feelings and Thoughts 161 Be Supportive and Provide Reassurance 161 Mentor For Long-Term Development 161 Concept Quiz 162 Behavioral Checklist 162 Modeling Exercise 163 Building Problems in Napa Valley 163 Observer's Rating Sheet 165 Group Exercises 166 Group Exercise 1: Confessions of a Sales Manager 166 Group Exercise 2: Helping with a Peer Problem 167 Observer's Rating Sheet 168 Group Exercise 3: Why Is the Camera Out of Focus? 169 Summary Checklist 170 Application Questions 170

XVI Contents Reinforcement Exercises 171 Action Plan 171 CHAPTER 11 Empowering People Through Delegation 173 Self-Assessment Exercise: How Do I Delegate to Others? 173 Scoring and Interpretation 173 Skill Concepts 174 What Is Delegation? 174 Delegation Is Not A bdication 174 Why Delegate? 175 Determinants of Delegation 176 Delegation Skills 176 Concept Quiz 178 Behavioral Checklist 179 Modeling Exercise 179 The Annual Budget 179 Observer's Rating Sheet 181 Group Exercises 182 Group Exercise 1: Park City Toyota 182 Group Exercise 2: The Meeting Substitute 183 Group Exercise 3: The Deadline Has Come and Gone 183 Observer's Rating Sheet 185 Summary Checklist 186 Application Questions 186 Reinforcement Exercises 186 Action Plan 187 PART IV: LEADING 189 CHAPTER 12 Politicking 189 Self-Assessment Exercise: My Attitude Toward Politicking 189 Scoring and Interpretation 189 Skill Concepts 190 What Is Politicking? 190 Why Is There Politics in Organizations? 190 Political Diagnostic Analysis 191 General Guidelines for Political Action 194

Specific Political Strategies 196 Considering the Cost-Benefit Equation 197 Concept Quiz 197 Behavioral Checklist 198 Modeling Exercise 198 The Truck-Trading Problem 198 Observer's Rating Sheet 201 Group Exercises 202 Group Exercise 1: The Bill and Mary Show: Bendix to Morrison Knudsen 202 Reader's Rating Sheet 204 Group Exercise 2: The Savemore Corporation 205 Group Exercise 3: The New Superintendent 208 Summary Checklist 210 Application Questions 210 Reinforcement Exercises 210 Action Plan 211 CHAPTER 13 Persuading 213 Self-Assessment Exercise: How I Persuade 213 Scoring and Interpretation 213 Skill Concepts 214 What Is Persuasion? 214 Persuasion Strategies 215 Persuasion Tactics 216 Improving Your Persuasive Skills 217 Contents XVII Applying Persuasive Skills in Formal Presentations 219 Concept Quiz 221 Behavioral Checklist 221 Modeling Exercise 222 The Grade Change 222 Observer's Rating Sheet 223 Group Exercises 224 Group Exercise 1: Personal Persuasion 224 Group Exercise 2: Making Formal Persuasive Presentations 224 Observer's Rating Sheet 225 Group Exercise 3: Trust Walk 226

XVI11 Contents Summary Checklist 226 Application Questions 226 Reinforcement Exercises 227 Action Plan 227 CHAPTER 14 Applying Leadership Style 229 Self-Assessment Exercise: What Kind of Leader Am I? 229 Scoring and Interpretation 229 Skill Concepts 230 Leader Behaviors and Styles 230 Followers 231 Situational Variables 233 Concept Quiz 234 Behavioral Checklist 235 Modeling Exercise 235 Leading the Cobra Development Team 235 Observer's Rating Sheet 238 Group Exercises 239 Group Exercise 1: Choosing an Appropriate Leadership Style 239 Group Exercise 2: Leader Adaptability Exercise 241 Group Exercise 3: Case of the Tough Assignment 242 Summary Checklist 243 Application Questions 243 } Reinforcement Exercises 243 Action Plan 244 CHAPTER 15 Managing Change 246 Self-Assessment Exercise: Are You a Change Leader? 246 Scoring and Interpretation 246 Skill Concepts 247 The Phases of Planned Change 247 Skills for Promoting Change 248 Skills for Overcoming Resistance to Change 250 Sources of Resistance to Change 250 Strategies to Overcome the Resistance to Change 251 When Might Resistance to Change Be Helpful? 252

Concept Quiz 252 Behavioral Checklist 252 Modeling Exercise 253 MultiPhase Products Company 253 Observer's Rating Sheet 257 Group Exercises 258 Contents XIX Group Exercise 1: "Reshaping Unacceptable Behaviors" 258 Observer's Rating Sheet 260 Group Exercise 2: Improving Performance 261 Group Exercise 3: MediScribe Corporation 262 Summary Checklist 263 Application Questions 263 Reinforcement Exercises 263 Action Plan 264 PARTV: TEAMING 267 CHAPTER 16 Working With Teams 267 Self-Assessment Exercise: What Is My Teamwork Style? 267 Scoring and Interpretation 267 Skill Concepts 267 Characteristics of High-Performing Teams 268 Small Size 268 Complementary Skills 268 Common Purpose 269 Specific Goals 269 Common Approach 269 Mutual Accountability 269 Obstacles to Effective Teamwork 270 A Weak Sense of Direction 270 Infighting 270 Shirking of Responsibilities 270 Lack of Trust 270 Critical Skills Gaps 270 Lack of External Support 270

XX Contents Overcoming Obstacles to Effective Teamwork 271 Create Clear Goals 271 Encourage Teams to Go for Small Wins 271 Build Mutual Trust 271 Appraise Group and Individual Performances 271 Provide the Necessary External Support 272 Offer Team-Building Training 272 Change the Team's Membership 272 Team Process Facilitation 272 Role Behaviors 272 Communication Patterns 273 Decision-Making Procedures 273 Process Interventions 273 Concept Quiz 274 Behavioral Checklist 275 Modeling Exercise 275 Assessing Team Process in a Fishbowl 275 Observer's Rating Sheet: Team Process 277 Group Exercises 278 Group Exercise 1: Naming A to Z Products 278 Observer's Rating Sheet 279 Group Exercise 2: The Card Tower Exercise 280 Group Exercise 3: My Asset Base 280 Summary Checklist 281 Application Questions 282 Reinforcement Exercises 282 Action Plan 282 CHAPTER 17 Valuing Diversity 284 Self-Assessment Exercise: What Are My Attitudes Toward Workplace Diversity? 284 Scoring and Interpretation 284 Skill Concepts 285 What Is Diversity? 285 How Can Diversity Be Promoted in Organizations? 286 What Can Be Done to Facilitate Working with Diverse Others? 287

Contents XXJ Concept Quiz 288 Behavioral Checklist 289 Modeling Exercise 289 A Problematic Promotion 289 Observer's Rating Sheet 292 Group Exercises 293 Group Exercise 1: Choosing Music 293 Group Exercise 2: Diversity in Action 294 Group Exercise 3: Diversity Squares 294 Summary Checklist 295 Application Questions 296 Reinforcement Exercises 296 Action Plan 296 PART VI: PROBLEM SOLVING 299 CHAPTER 18 Ethical Decision Making 299 Self-Assessment Exercise: How Do My Ethics Rate? 299 Scoring and Interpretation 299 Skill Concepts 300 Why Is Ethics Important? 300 Guidelines for Applying Ethical Guideposts to Decisions 301 Ethical Screening 302 Concept Quiz 303 Behavioral Checklist 304 Modeling Exercise 304 Competing Ethical Criteria 304 Observer's Rating Sheet 306 Group Exercises 307 Group Exercise 1: West Oceans Bank 307 Observer's Rating Sheet 309 Group Exercise 2: Mini-Cases 310 Group Exercise 3: Anticipating Ethical Conflict 311 Summary Checklist 312 Application Questions 313 Reinforcement Exercises 313 Action Plan 313

XXII Contents CHAPTER 19 Creative Problem Solving 315 Self-Assessment Exercise: How creative are you? 315 Scoring and Interpretation 315 Skill Concepts 316 What Are the Steps for Interpersonal Problem Solving? 316 Problem Awareness 316 Problem Definition 318 Decision Making 318 Action Plan Implementation 319 Follow-Through 320 How can Creativity be Encouraged? 321 Concept Quiz 322 Behavioral Checklist 322 Modeling Exercise 323 Problems Everywhere 323 Observer's Rating Sheet 324 Group Exercises 325 Group Exercise 1: Dealing with Academic Dishonesty 325 Group Exercise 2: The Copying Machine 326 Group Exercise 3: How to Get a Date 327 Summary Checklist 327 Application Questions 328 Reinforcement Exercises 328 Action Plan 328 CHAPTER 20 Resolving Conflicts 330 Self-Assessment Exercise: What Is My Conflict-Management Style? 330 Scoring and Interpretation 331 Skill Concepts 332 Resolving Conflicts Relies on Other Interpersonal Skills 332 Key Conflict Management Skills 332 Concept Quiz 335 Behavioral Checklist 336 Modeling Exercise 336 New Hire in an Old Culture 336

Observer's Rating Sheet 339 Group Exercises 340 Group Exercise 1: Crisis at Beacon Lights 340 Observer's Rating Sheet 342 Group Exercise 2: MIS Mumbo Jumbo 343 Observer's Rating Sheet 344 Group Exercise 3: What's the Right Conflict Management Style? 345 Summary Checklist 346 Application Questions 347 Reinforcement Exercises 347 Action Plan 347 CHAPTER 21 Negotiating 349 Self-Assessment Exercise: How Do I Negotiate? 349 Scoring and Interpretation 349 Skill Concepts 349 Bargaining Strategies 350 Guidelines for Effective Negotiating 351 Concept Quiz 352 Behavioral Checklist 353 Modeling Exercise 353 What's a Fair Pay Increase for Lisa? 353 Observer's Rating Sheet 355 Group Exercises 356 Group Exercise 1: Who Gets the Overtime? 356 Observer's Rating Sheet 358 Group Exercise 2: The Used Car Negotiation 359 Observer's Rating Sheet 361 Group Exercise 3: Neighbors 362 Observer's Rating Sheet 364 Summary Checklist 365 Application Questions 365 Reinforcement Exercises 365 Action Plan 366 Contents XXIII

XXiv Contents PART VII: INTEGRATING EXERCISES 367 Skill Assessment Review 367 Integrative Exercises 367 Integrating Exercise 1: Chris Amon and Lee Petty 368 Evaluation Sheet for Chris Amon 373 Evaluation Sheet for Lee Petty 376 Integrating Exercise 2: Team Meeting Demonstration 378 Evaluation Sheet for Team Meeting Demonstration 380 Future Action Plans 383 APPENDIX Exercise Guidelines and Materials 385 INDEX 391