FELLOWS PROGRAM MENTOR S HANDBOOK

FELLOWS PROGRAM MENTOR S HANDBOOK

TABLE OF CONTENTS Description of the C.S. Lewis Institute Fellows Program 3 Thank You for Volunteering to Serve as a Mentor 4 Spiritual Mentor Profile 5 C. S. Lewis Institute Mentor Recommended Resource List 7 Accessing the Fellows Handbook on the CSLI Website 8 Mentor Training 9 Fall Fellows Retreat 9 How Fellows Choose Mentors 10 Monthly Meetings All Fellows and Mentors 10 Leading Monthly Theme Discussion Groups 11 Questions to Assist Mentors in Facilitating Small Group Discussion 12 Guidelines for Individual Mentoring Meetings 12 Mentor-Fellow Report 14 Appendix A 15

3 Description of the C.S. Lewis Institute Fellows Program The C.S. Lewis Fellows Program offers a year of intensive discipleship that leads to significant life-change. Unlike many discipleship programs, the Fellows Program focuses on discipleship of both heart and mind. It involves Bible study, classic readings, lectures, group processing, personal spiritual mentoring and accountability -- all in the context of a small group of likeminded believers. This year-long program is designed for those who want to live as fully committed disciples of Jesus Christ and make an impact for Him in the world. The C.S. Lewis Fellows Program is designed for believers who have a solid faith in Christ and want to: Grow deeper in their relationship with Jesus Christ; Be more credible and effective for Christ in the Church and the world; Actively serve Christ in their sphere of influence; Be equipped for evangelism, discipling and helping those in need. The goal of the Fellows Program is to help committed disciples of Jesus Christ develop the solid Biblical beliefs, spiritual depth and moral character that will enable them to glorify God and impact their spheres of influence for Christ. The program provides life-changing truth from key biblical themes in discipleship, spirituality, apologetics, and worldview.

4 THANK YOU for Volunteering to Serve as a Mentor As you know, the purpose of the Fellows Program is spiritual and theological formation. It is designed to foster significant transformation of life in its participants and to prepare them for engaging the world for Christ. The Mentors assigned to each group are a key ingredient in the successful outcome of this process. When you agreed to be a Mentor, you committed to the program on two levels. First, as you join in the readings, retreats, lectures, and discussions that make up the program you will grow and learn alongside the Fellows in your group. But, in addition to personal study and change, you have accepted the responsibility to encourage, challenge, and pray for the Fellows in your group throughout the year in order to help each gain the maximum benefit from the program. You will need to use all the resources at your disposal to encourage Fellows to maintain their commitment to the program and its goals during this year of study. This is entirely for their benefit, as they will only get out of the program what they put into it. As you develop a personal relationship with each one, you will be able to listen and discuss the issues presented by the readings and lectures, as well as offer consistent Biblical perspective and accountability for specific areas of their lives. Clearly mentoring will require time, effort, love, and prayer. We will need to depend on the power of the Holy Spirit. More support will come as Mentors get to know one another and have opportunities to meet with the Director for training and problem solving. Also, the CSLI staff is available to help in any way they can. Opportunities for Mentor training will be offered 2-3 times per year. As a Mentor you are a vital part of the C. S. Lewis Fellows Program. It cannot succeed without you. Thank you for making this major commitment.

5 Spiritual Mentor Profile The words mentor and spiritual mentor are used in a variety of ways in today s secular and religious landscape. The C.S. Lewis Institute uses these words to describe the personal disciple-making activities of Jesus with the Twelve and Paul with Timothy and others in the apostolic band. Many people use the word discipling to describe the same thing. The Goal of Spiritual Mentoring. For Jesus, the ultimate goal of spiritual mentoring/discipling was to help his disciples become like Himself, their Master and Lord (Mt. 10.24-25 ). The same is true for Paul, who understood God s goal for every believer to be the restoration of the image of God in their lives (Eph. 4.24, Col. 3.10) through increasing conformity to the image of Christ (Ro. 8.29). Thus, our goal in spiritual mentoring is to help men and women become increasingly like Jesus -- to think as Jesus thought, to feel as Jesus felt, to act as Jesus acted and to desire what Jesus desired. The Elements of Spiritual Mentoring. Broadly speaking, spiritual mentoring involves: Taking an interest in, loving and seeking to serve the person you mentor Developing a close relationship with the person Listening carefully and offering Biblically grounded counsel and prayer where appropriate Encouraging the person to know, love, obey and serve Christ, as well as encouraging him or her in various areas of life, as needed Praying regularly for the person you are mentoring The Qualifications of a Spiritual Mentor. Is a spiritually healthy, growing, obedient disciple himself/herself Is committed to the full inspiration, trustworthiness and authority of Holy Scripture and subscribes without reservation to the content of the Apostles Creed and Nicene Creed and the C.S. Lewis Institute s Statement of Faith Is a committed member of a church and accountable to a pastor Is psychologically/emotionally healthy Seeks to glorify God and not self Maintains a healthy and consistent prayer life Is well-grounded in Scripture Has humility of heart Seeks to gently serve others and to not dominate or control them Is a good listener and doesn t talk too much

6 Spiritual Mentor Profile Is discrete with confidential matters and doesn t reveal confidences Is transparent and shares from his or her own life where appropriate Gives wise, godly counsel Is older and more mature in spiritual experience than the person they mentor Is faithful, responsible and reliable Is able to commit the time needed to mentor effectively Prior mentoring experience is highly desirable but not essential. In today s church, finding qualified spiritual mentors is challenging but not impossible. Prayer and referrals from friends is the starting point. Once qualified mentors have been identified and recruited, the Institute has a variety of resources to help them grow in their effectiveness. Those who become spiritual mentors invariably find that it brings a lot of joy and helps them grow deeper in their own discipleship and love for Christ.

7 C. S. Lewis Institute Mentor Recommended Resource List Books: 1) Mentoring For Spiritual Growth, Tony Horsfal 2) Are You Really Listening? Keys to Successful Communication, Paul J. Donoghue, Ph.D. and Mary E. Siegel, Ph.D 3) The Lost Art of Listening, How Learning To Listen Can Improve Relationships, Michael P. Nichols 4) Spiritual Depression, Martyn Lloyd-Jones 5) How to Ask Great Questions, Karen Lee-Thorpe Mentor Training Resources on the CSLI Website 1) Spiritual Mentoring: How to Help Others Grow in Their Relationship with Christ with Tom Schwanda These sessions include presentations on some of the significant principles of mentoring including listening, asking questions, discernment, and how to develop a mentoring relationship. 2) Master Plan for Discipleship with Dr. Robert Coleman What are some patterns and principles that Jesus used to disciple the twelve that we can apply in our lives to fulfill the mission to go and make disciples? Coleman lays out a very clear picture of the disciple-making process. 3) Developing Spiritual Discernment with Dr. Gerald McDermott Learning how to listen and pay attention to what the Lord is saying to us is a vital tool in mentoring. It also enables us to be more sensitive to the needs of those we re discipling. 4) Transforming Discipleship with Dr. Greg Ogden These sessions discuss the purpose of discipleship and present a very effective method of discipleship using groups of three or four (triads/quads) over the course of a year. The book, Discipleship Essentials, written by Ogden is an excellent tool which follows this approach.

8 Accessing the Fellows Handbook on the CSLI Website The online, electronic Fellows Handbook will guide you throughout the course of the year. If this is your first time going through the Fellows Program, we ask that you read and do as many of the assignments as possible so that you will be able to track with the Fellows and guide them through the monthly themes. If you have already gone through the program, we ask that you just review the material each month either by looking at notes that you ve taken in the past, doing a quick skim of your underlines in books or whatever helps you refresh your memory of the topic. I know one experienced mentor who has created a ring binder with all of his notes/questions etc from previous years that makes it very easy for him to prepare for each month. To access the Fellows Handbook (Year One or Year Two): 1) Go to: 2) Login by clicking Login at the top right of the home page using the following username and password. 3) Username: (first initial + last name) For example: jsmith for the name John Smith; Or (first part of e-mail before @) For example: johnsmith for the e-mail address johnsmith@aol.com 4) Password: fellows If this doesn t work, try your (first initial + last name) for both the Username and Password. 5) Once logged in, click on Locations, at the top of the page Follow the arrow down and click on Fellows Center at the bottom of the drop down menu. 6) Click on the Year One Fellows Handbook, or Year Two Fellows Handbook for the current year. This Handbook will be your curriculum guide for the year. If you have problems accessing the handbook, please e-mail Stephanie Smith at: s.smith@cslewisinstitute.org or call 703-914-5602. Some of the resources and articles in the handbook are hyperlinked, meaning that you can click on them with your mouse and you will be taken directly to the resource on the CSLI website or somewhere else on the internet. You must be logged in to access some of these resources, so if you are denied access to an article, just login and you should then be able to gain access. If this is your first time going through the Fellows Program and you have any questions, feel free to contact the C.S. Lewis Institute office at 703-914-5602.

9 Mentor Training We will have a mentor training program to orient you and give you support as mentors throughout the year. We will begin with an event toward the end of August so that we can be sure that everyone is on the same page before the retreat. Then we will have some optional training mornings in the fall and spring so that we as mentors can discuss any concerns, bring up any questions and also support one another more effectively throughout the year. Fall Fellows Retreat Each Fellows year includes a two-and-a-half-day Fall Retreat. This time away brings Fellows together for fellowship, discussion, personal testimonies, and prayer. The primary purpose is getting to know one another and building community. The Fellows will naturally look to their Mentors to help get the group off to a good start. You will be given a retreat schedule and ice breaker questions to use when you get together for the first time on Friday morning. Also please read the suggestions on how to lead the group discussions. It will be helpful to talk with the other Mentors in your group ahead of time about how you want to coordinate details like who will start the times of sharing and discussion, who will pray to begin and end, and any limitations you may have regarding the number of Fellows you are available to mentor individually during the year. Getting to know the Fellows in your group is a priority for the Retreat. Try to have some conversation with each one. Listen carefully during casual interaction and, especially, as they share their spiritual journeys.

10 How Fellows Choose Mentors During the retreat weekend each Fellow in your group will choose one of the Mentors to meet with individually during the year. The Fellows will be given a folder with a sign-up sheet for each mentor inside corresponding with the number of Fellows that each mentor can mentor (usually 2 per mentor). The Fellows will be asked to put their names under the Mentor of their choice by Sunday morning, and will give that Mentor a copy of their Spiritual Autobiography, Personal Spiritual Inventory, Texture of My World, and Time Audit before leaving. (In some cases, the Mentor-Fellow choices have been made in advance by the Director). Some Fellows may not get their first choice of a Mentor since Mentors can only mentor as many as they have time for. However, the Lord tends to work it out the matches in wonderful ways. In addition, the Mentor will be given the Application folder for each Fellow you will mentor individually. These papers are invaluable resources for starting and developing your mentoring relationship. It s a good idea to make a confidential file for each Fellow so that as the year goes on, you can keep your notes and any particularly meaningful Response Papers in one place. Monthly Meetings All Fellows and Mentors 8:15 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. - See date/time exceptions noted on Fellows Handbook calendar From October through June you will meet one Saturday morning a month for fellowship, a lecture on the theme of that month, and time for small group discussion of the Bible study, books, and articles you have read (again, you should be prepared to facilitate as needed). Each Fellow will have written a Response Paper for that month and should turn it in to his/her Mentor. Please be sure to contact any Fellow you mentor who is not present, to see if they are ill, having problems, or need special prayer or contact.

11 Leading Monthly Theme Discussion Groups The goal of the discussion groups is to elicit from the Fellows their personal responses to the Bible study, books, and other resources, not to do a postmortem. The role of the Mentors is simply to facilitate discussion. The main goal is to get the Fellows talking to one another about what God is saying to them through the readings. Your role should be to help get conversation started and to give guidance, if needed, by keeping the conversation on topic. Avoid the temptation to give a mini-lecture, but feel free to interject occasional insights that you feel are important. We can validate the time and effort that each person has put into preparing by using the time carefully. Reciting the memory verses for the month is an excellent way to begin. Then you can use several key questions from the Bible study for that month to get the discussion started. People will naturally mention points from the books and other resources and they will be brought into the discussion. It s also helpful to have questions and quotes ready from the reading that will remind people of vital concepts and engage them in sharing their thoughts. Here are three key questions to use: What do you think is the author s main point(s)? What in the book spoke to your personal lives most powerfully? Note: It may not be the author s main point(s). How will you respond to what you have learned from the book? Where do you need to grow? What do you need to change? Let the Fellows know early on that you are not going to teach or even lead the discussions. You look forward to participating from time to time, but they are responsible for coming prepared to talk in depth about the materials they have covered. A good way to demonstrate this is how you handle silences. While uncomfortable, they often give time for processing and are part of thoughtful conversations. It s helpful to your group when you resist the temptation to rescue too soon. Having the main points of the content of the monthly theme in mind will enable you to help your group cover the material. And again, good questions and quotes are invaluable tools for redirecting or stimulating the discussion when needed.

12 Questions to Assist Mentors in Facilitating Small Group Discussion by Carl Wylie One of our most experienced and effective CSLI mentors, Carl Wylie, has developed an approach to preparing for the monthly discussions. He has prepared quotes, questions and tools for facilitating an effective discussion for the topics covered in the Year One Fellows Program. This tool will be made available at the mentor training. Guidelines for Individual Mentoring Meetings Fellows are required to meet with their Mentor once a month for 1 1 1/2 hours. Each Fellow is responsible for making contact to arrange these meetings. However, if you haven t heard from your Fellow, contact the Fellow and set up a time to meet. Some need more prodding than others. It is recommended that Mentors and Fellows plan out their mentoring meetings for the year just after the retreat in September. The purpose of the mentoring meetings is to help the Fellow process and apply the themes of the readings and lecture so that personal growth and change occur. It is recommended that Fellows meet with the same Mentor through the year for the sake of continuity. They may, however, meet with another Mentor, or with a C. S. Lewis staff member, concerning any issue where he/she may have more expertise. These one-on-one meetings are an excellent opportunity for growth and they represent an investment of time, energy and resources for both of you. While the time is meant to be relaxed and enjoyable, it is important to be prepared so that it is valuable as well. Here are some suggestions. Pray for your time together. Let each Fellow know that you pray for him/her. Pray together. Keep up with the readings. Look for especially interesting, complex, or challenging points that you can bring up to engage him/her personally.

13 Guidelines for Individual Mentoring Meetings Explore with the Fellow ways to apply this content to own life goals and issues. Encourage him/her to focus on specific ways to grow and change as disciples of Christ. Ask about how the Fellow uses the Spiritual Disciplines and explore how they can vitalize the learning. The initial retreat is a great opportunity to learn about the Fellows in your group. Write down significant things you hear and observe during the discussions and personal testimonies. Keep a folder for each Fellow you meet with individually. After meeting with a Fellow you are mentoring make notes to refresh your memory before the next time. Reread notes you made when you read his/her Texture of My World, Spiritual Autobiography, Spiritual Inventory, and Application. There may also have been a comment or question made during the monthly discussion that you want to bring up when you are alone together. Read the response papers your Fellows give you and let them know you read their papers. Keep them in the folder. Mark any comments, confessions, or in sights you think might be important to talk about the next time you meet. Plan to use questions to raise these topics. But remember that the Fellow is free to talk about any issue or not. Your job is to be aware of the significant areas in the Fellow s life and to provide opportunities to learn more and to explore the potential for growth and change. Thoughtful questions are your best tools. Learn how to ask open questions ones that encourage more than a yes or no answer. They usually begin with who, what, when, how, and sometimes, why. Open questions encourage the Fellow to talk more freely and help you listen well, and are a key to effective mentoring. See How to Ask Great Questions by Karen Lee-Thorpe for some good examples. Listening carefully and being sure you understand what is being said is often more important than what you say. While you will certainly make observations, raise issues, and make suggestions from time to time, especially regarding matters of spiritual growth, it is vital to remember that your role is not to solve problems or give advice.

14 Guidelines for Individual Mentoring Meetings Encourage Fellows to follow through on their commitment to the program and to their group. Watch for signs that the ones you meet with are falling behind in their reading or not meeting regularly with the other Fellows in triads and socially. As soon as you see this happening try to help them figure out where the problem lies by asking how they are spending their time, their attitude toward the theme for the month, how they are approaching the work, and how they are relating to others in the group. Referring back to the Application Form can be an energizing reminder. You can pray together and brainstorm possible solutions together. And you can offer accountability and continuing prayer. The purpose of the Fellows year is growth and change. As we know, difficulty is often the best catalyst. It s a great privilege to be one who can come along side with encouragement and support to make the most of every opportunity. Mentor-Fellow Report You may find it helpful to use the Mentor-Fellow Report tool found in Appendix A as a means of helping you track the progress of the Fellows that you are mentoring.

15 Appendix A Mentor-Fellow Report MENTEE NAME: (Photocopy individual sheets for each Mentee) Sep Oct Nov Dec Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Attended Monthly Sat. Meeting Completed Reading Completed Response Papers Attended Mentoring Session Attended Monthly Group Gathering Attended Triplet Gathering Memorized Assigned Verse Mentor's Name and Comments: