follows a strict form all parts in the right place and doing the right thing formal academic content tone development 3 levels of development multiple paragraphs essay Second Assignment: Formal Academic Essay (10%) You will learn the proper form of a formal academic essay as well as how to properly provide both content and development of an academic topic to an academic audience. You should choose cause- effect analysis or problem- solving as the main directional pattern for this essay. Purpose: You are attempting to show your audience that you have good ideas supported by good academic information, but you must also show your audience that you can communicate your ideas and information in a proper academic form. Process: (1) You must bring a FORMAL outline in English to class on Friday, Oct. 13. (2) You will have 30 minutes of class time to write the first draft of your essay in English. You are not required to finish the essay, but you should write a significant amount. (3) You will show your writing to 2 or 3 classmates who will give you brief feedback on your message. (4) You will take the outline and first draft with you and will have one week to revise and write the second draft. (5) The second draft will be presented to me at the start of class on Friday, Oct. 20. You will also give me the outline and the first draft. Requirements: The second draft of your formal essay should be approximately 500 words and should include a proper introduction paragraph, at least three body paragraphs that develop one main idea and a proper conclusion paragraph. This assignment must be typed with double line- spacing and your outline and first draft must be included (but will not be evaluated). Evaluation: Your informal essay will be evaluated in three areas: form (3 points), content and development (5 points), and English language ability (2 points).
2 Main Idea (Thesis statement) Topic Sentence 1 Topic Sentence 2 Topic Sentence 3 What is a formal academic essay? Like all essays, the formal academic essay operates on three levels of ideas. However, the word formal tells us that the formal academic essay has a very strict arrangement of ideas unlike an informal essay. The pattern of development is also very strict, which is why formal academic essays use formal paragraphs that require topic sentences and proper support and unity. In the diagram above, the blue, yellow and purple represent three formal paragraphs. Every formal academic essay requires at least three of these paragraphs, which are also called body paragraphs. (The formal academic essay also requires an introduction paragraph and a conclusion paragraph, but these Introduction paragraph Hook/opening statement Connecting information or "bridge" Thesis statement Body paragraph 1 Topic sentence 1 Body paragraph 2 Topic sentence 2 Body paragraph 3 Topic sentence 3 Conclusion paragraph Summary of main ideas Closing statement are special purpose paragraphs which do not require topic sentences or supporting ideas.) The formal academic essay is often called the five- paragraph essay, because there must be at least five paragraphs. In the diagram above, the three body paragraphs are supporting the overall main idea of the essay (often referred to as the thesis statement). The thesis statement operates exactly like a topic sentence, except it has more responsibility and a specific location in the introduction paragraph. So, the formal academic essay follows a strict form, which means that all of the parts must be included, all of the parts must be in the proper location, and all of the parts must be meeting their responsibilities. In this way, the formal academic essay is very mechanical compared to the informal essay, which is more casual and natural. Meanwhile, do not forget the word academic in formal academic essay. This tells us that the content itself must be academic in nature, and it must be treated in academic fashion. The topic should be appropriate for the classroom, and the overall treatment of the topic should be as objective and fair as possible. It is also recommended that the writer avoid 1 st - person and 2 nd - person pronouns (I, me, my, we, our, you, yourself, etc.) as much as possible.
3 Parts and Problems of a Formal Essay The figure on the left illustrates how the reader sees the formal academic essay. There are three main parts of the essay: the introduction, the body (which includes at least three separate paragraphs), and the conclusion. The reader begins with the hook or opening statement, and reads down until the essay is finished. However, the writer of the essay should be aware that the writing process should begin with the development of the main idea (the parts shown in red in the diagram). Most experienced formal academic essay writers do not even include the hook, bridge, and closing statement in their outline. Even during the writing process, many writers will work on the body paragraphs first. After finishing the body, they will then go back and write the introduction and then the conclusion. The body paragraphs The body of the essay is the most important part. This is where all of the real information is. The body paragraphs support the main idea of the essay, and provide the information that the reader needs in order to fully understand your ideas. There can be (and often are) more than three paragraphs in the body but three is the lowest amount possible in a formal academic essay. In many composition classes, much attention is paid to the introduction and conclusion paragraphs of the essay. These are important parts of the form, and they do provide a special service to the reader, so it is important to learn how to write proper introductions and conclusions. However, never forget that the body is the real essay. If your essay has some problems in the introduction and/or conclusion, but the body is strong, your essay is overall healthy, and the problems in the introduction or conclusion can be fixed easily. On the other hand, if you write a perfect introduction and a perfect conclusion, but your body paragraphs are weak, you don t have an essay at all and fixing that problem is much more difficult than repairing the introduction or conclusion. What are common problems in body paragraphs? As we discussed in Unit 1, a formal paragraph must have a proper topic sentence that (1) clearly states the topic and (2) provides a clue as to the pattern of development (comparison/contrast, cause/effect analysis, process analysis, for example) that the paragraph will follow. Formal paragraphs must have proper support (without repeating the same ideas in different words) and proper unity connected with the controlling ideas found in the topic sentence. These are the most common problems in body paragraphs poor or vague topic sentences, improper support or a break in the unity. These problems are the most dangerous ones, for if the body is weak, the entire essay will collapse. Introduction paragraphs The first special- purpose paragraph is the introduction paragraph. The introduction paragraph is not really a formal paragraph, because it does not have a topic sentence and supporting ideas. So, it looks like a paragraph, but it does not have to follow the same structure as a formal paragraph. The
4 introduction paragraph does two things it allows the reader to comfortably join the complicated discussion that will happen in the body paragraphs, and the introduction also shows the reader the thesis statement, or the overall main idea of the essay. These special purposes are important. First, as a student, you know how important it is to start each class gradually you re not comfortable if your professor immediately starts a lecture or a presentation with important details, but if you have time to settle into your desk, and the professor checks attendance and perhaps makes a few general comments to introduce the topic of the lecture, you feel more prepared to accept the new information. At the same time, if you don t know the main idea of the lecture before it starts, you may feel confused for some time until you realize exactly what the lesson is about. It s the same for the reader. There are three parts of a good introduction paragraph: the hook, the connecting information, and the thesis statement. We will look at the thesis statement first. The most important part of the introduction is the thesis statement, which almost always will be the final idea in the introduction. As mentioned earlier, the thesis statement is the main idea of the overall essay so it is important to deliver this idea in the first part of the essay. When you are trying to translate your main idea into an actual sentence, remember that a thesis sentence needs to have two parts: it must tell the reader what the overall topic of the essay is, and it must give the reader a general sense of direction, or an idea of what you plan to do with the topic. To say this in another way, remember that a thesis statement can be a statement of intent, or a statement of opinion, or it can deliver intent and opinion at the same time. For example: This essay is about the communicative approach to teaching a second language. This is not a satisfactory thesis statement, because the reader is told what the topic is the communicative approach but there is no indication of how the writer will deal with the topic. (Also, in the modern world today, it is considered poor style to directly refer to the essay by saying this essay will ) There are several distinct differences between the grammar-based approach and the communicative approach in teaching a second language. This is a very satisfactory thesis statement. This is a statement of intent, because it is obvious to the reader that the writer plans to compare two types of teaching a second language. We don t know the writer s opinion of these two approaches, but we know they will be compared to each other and we know the focus will be on the differences instead of the similarities. The communicative approach is the best way to teach a second language. This is a statement of opinion. The reader clearly understands the topic, and the writer is also giving a obvious opinion about the topic. The audience now expects
5 that the writer will explain why this opinion is acceptable. This is also a very acceptable form of thesis statement. By comparing the grammar-based and the communicative approaches, it is easy to see that the communicative approach is the best way to teach a second language. Here we see an example of a thesis statement that is both a statement of opinion and a statement of intent. The reader now expects the body paragraphs to provide information comparing the two approaches and, at the same time, the reader expects that the comparison will support the writer s opinion. When writing your thesis statement, you should also consider providing an essay map for the reader (the essay map is sometimes called a specific thesis). A thesis statement that includes an essay map is slightly more complicated to write, but it can be very helpful to the reader and using an essay map is also a sign that the writer is more skilled at overall composition. An essay map not only provides the statement of intent/opinion, but also shows how the body of the essay will develop. The communicative approach is the best way to teach a second language, because it focuses on the practical aspect of language use, it encourages students to think instead of simply memorizing grammar rules, and its effects are more permanent than the grammar-based approach. Obviously, the sentence above the thesis statement with essay map is more difficult to write. However, now the reader clearly understands the topic and the writer s opinion about the topic. In addition, the reader can predict that the first part of the body will talk about the practical aspect of language use, and the second part of the body will discuss why thinking instead of memorizing grammar rules is better. Finally, the reader sees that the last part of the body will include information that compares the communicative approach to the grammar- based approach, and will show that the communicative approach has longer- lasting effects. Remember, a thesis statement is absolutely necessary in a formal essay. An essay map is helpful to the reader and the writer, but it is not required. The hook is the first sentence or the first idea of the essay (a hook can be one sentence, or several sentences). After the title, this is the first statement the reader will see. Does the need to be strong and interesting? It depends upon the type of writing you are doing for example, in journalism, the hook is very important and should grab the reader. This is because newspaper and magazine readers do not try to read every article; they sample a few articles and only read the ones they find interesting. In academic writing, however, you should remember that the reader is much more interested in the information that will be found in the body paragraphs so a funny, clever, interesting hook is not necessary. Overall, interesting writing is good for the reader, so, if you provide a good hook for an academic essay, it will not be a bad thing. However, don t waste too much time or energy to create an amazing hook for academic writing, especially if you are losing time and energy to work on the actual information. Remember this when you are planning your essay, you must know your overall
6 idea before you can organize the other ideas in the proper support structure. You do not need to know the hook until later in fact, even though it is the first sentence, the hook is often one of the final ideas developed by the writer. (The pretty, sweet frosting on a cake is the first thing you see, but it was the last part of the cake- making process!) The last component of the introduction paragraph is the connecting information. This is the idea or ideas you must use in order to show a logical connection between the hook and the thesis statement. Doing this part well requires logic more than language, and it requires the writer to think about the audience. If the hook idea is naturally very close to the thesis idea, very little connecting information is needed. However, if the hook idea is not obviously attached to the thesis, you will have to work harder to make the logical connection for the reader. Common problems in introduction paragraphs There are two common mistakes made by students (both native speakers and non- native speakers) when writing introduction paragraphs. The first common mistake is that there is no thesis statement, or it is in the wrong place or is not a complete thesis statement (as mentioned above, it mentions the topic but gives no idea as to the direction of the essay). The second mistake, a very common one, is that students often make their introduction paragraph too long sometimes, in a two- page essay, the introduction paragraph is one page long! Remember that the purpose of the introduction is to greet the reader and to introduce the main idea. That s all. Don t start introducing the other important ideas in the introduction. Hook, connecting information, thesis statement, and perhaps an essay map and then go to the body paragraphs. Conclusion paragraphs The final paragraph of the formal essay is the conclusion paragraph, which is similar to the introduction paragraph in that it is a special- purpose paragraph, and does not have the topic sentence/supporting ideas structure of a formal paragraph. Like the introduction, the special purposes of the conclusion paragraph are important to both the reader and the writer. The conclusion paragraph gives a sense of closure to the reader; it is a clear signal that the writer has ended the discussion and that all of the important ideas have been presented. Have you ever been in a classroom where the professor simply walked out in the middle of the lecture? How did you feel confused, probably, and maybe even angry? Simply ending your essay without a conclusion paragraph will cause your reader to feel the same emotions. The other purpose of the conclusion paragraph is to remind the reader of what the most important ideas of your essay are. This may seem unnecessary in a very short, simple essay, but remember that in a normal academic essay (similar to an academic lecture), the reader is receiving a lot of information and ideas. The conclusion paragraph helps the reader to organize that information in the same pattern you originally intended. One thing the conclusion must do is provide a signal of conclusion. This can be done very easily; if you begin your conclusion paragraph with the phrase In conclusion, the reader clearly understands that the essay is ending.
7 Another thing needed in a formal essay s conclusion paragraph is a summary of the main ideas. As said earlier, this helps the reader understand what your overall organization was. The summary should include your overall main idea (the thesis statement idea) and the three ideas that were explained in the body paragraphs. It is considered poor style to simply repeat these ideas in the exact same words you used in the thesis statement, so you must try to paraphrase (change the words) of the original statements. Here s a bonus hint: remember we said the conclusion paragraph needs a signal of conclusion? A summary of main ideas is also a signal of conclusion! So you don t have to say in conclusion all of the time. So the signal of conclusion and the summary of main ideas are the required parts of the conclusion paragraph but those two things can often be expressed in one sentence, and so the writer may feel that the last paragraph looks weak and under- developed. It is also necessary to add a closing statement in the conclusion. A closing statement can be a prediction, a suggestion, or some kind of overall general statement that is relevant to the topic and/or main ideas of the essay. Without the closing statement, the conclusion paragraph will appear to be under- developed. Common problems in conclusion paragraphs One thing you should never do in the conclusion is to introduce a new main idea! This often happens accidentally, because when the writer starts to write the conclusion paragraph, he or she may suddenly remember or create a new idea that feels important enough to add to the essay. (For example, after you have finished discussing three reasons why the communicative approach is the best way to teach a second language, you write In conclusion, and give your summary of main ideas and then suddenly, you think of another reason why the communicative approach is good. This happens to teachers in classrooms all of the time!) You can t introduce new information or new directions to the conclusion, because that means you are confusing the reader and it also means you are making yourself appear to be disorganized and confused. The body of the essay is the proper place for discussing main ideas and supporting information, not the conclusion. Therefore, if this happens to you, it is okay to go back and create a new body paragraph, or perhaps add the new information to an existing paragraph (if it fits logically). You cannot, however, simply throw in more ideas at the reader during the conclusion. This is the most common mistake I have seen student writers make in the conclusion of a formal essay (the second common mistake is not providing a summary of the main ideas). Another common problem students make in the conclusion paragraph is to forget the summary of main ideas. Academic content Academic essays are not personal essays. The academic reader may accept your opinions, but is not interested in your personal situation or experiences. Be sure to present topics and information that is suitable for academic situations and a general academic audience.
8 For example, I might write an essay about common problems that happen in international education, but I should not write about the problems that have happened to me personally. I should focus on problems that could be common in general situations. For this reason, the most common discussion style in academic writing is called first- person limited and refers specifically to the use of 1 st - person pronouns (I, me, my, we, us, our). Keep the reader focused on the academic topic, not on the writer of the essay. (You should also avoid 2 nd - person pronouns such as you/your.) This is especially true for the main part of the essay: from the thesis statement, through the body paragraphs and until the summary of main ideas. Using self- reference in the hook and closing statements is absolutely acceptable. NOTE: If you are taking a IBT- TOEFL or TOEIC Writing essay test, it is acceptable and even more effective to refer to yourself. It is, however, important to present your content in proper academic form. Sample Formal Essays Sample Formal Essay 1 Why Should Language Students Study Literature? When I sighed, the student in my office immediately looked down and probably thought his question had upset or disappointed me. It hadn t, but it was a question that I ve heard for years from Keimyung students, and I ve always felt that I never could answer it properly. He and I discussed it for a few minutes, and maybe he was satisfied with my comments, but I know that at some point in the future, another English Language and Literature student will ask me: Why do they make us study literature when I only want to learn English? I teach language, but my major was English Literature, and I know there are three good reasons why students should study literature. The first reason is a simple one: because it s a rule. No one likes to be forced to do something because they have to do it, but at the same time, every person must do some things simply because they must be done. From governments to games, from the office to the home, there are rules that must be followed. To explain why the English Language and Literature Department has this rule would require an entire essay by itself, but all organizations require a system to guide its members. That doesn t mean authority should always be followed, but becoming an adult means knowing that authority should be questioned and sometimes obeyed. The second reason is that students need the university experience. The word itself comes from universe, meaning everything, and universities were created to provide a wide range of educational experiences for students. All students should take some classes completely different from their major engineering, art, business or science course. It is important to focus on one area a major but students who want to focus on one skill only should realize that specialized training is available (the Korean word is hagwon). The benefit of a university experience, however, is that adults who have had a wide range of experiences will have a wide range of understanding.
9 The final reason is that studying literature has its own specific benefit: studying literature helps us learn about our world and our self. Shakespeare died hundreds of years ago, but his evil Iago, his foolish Lear, his doubtful Hamlet and even his poems about love and beauty still speak to us, because those kinds of people and feelings still exist. Reading literature from different times and different countries help the reader understand history and culture. Furthermore, whether reading about drama, action, or romance, the reader will search his or her soul, for comparison and, hopefully, improvement. In conclusion, students should study literature not only because they are told to, but because of the benefits of a wider education and self- improvement. Even the student who asked the question told me later in our discussion that he wanted to read more poetry during the winter vacation period, because it made him feel something that he couldn t really describe. He said he wants to read poetry, not study it, but I think his inspiration probably came from a literature class that he was forced into. Discussion of Sample Formal Essay 1 Maybe the first sample essay seems familiar to you, because I m using most of the same ideas that were in the informal essay example in the previous chapter. Some ideas have been eliminated (for example, my conversation with the poet who used to teach literature) in order to stay more focused on the thesis statement, but the biggest difference is that now, all of my key ideas are arranged in the proper academic essay form. I have five paragraphs: introduction, three body paragraphs and a conclusion. My introduction has a hook, a bridge, and a thesis statement. My body paragraphs have clear topic sentences and proper support and unity with the controlling ideas. Finally, my conclusion has a signal of conclusion, a summary of my main ideas, and a closing statement. And nothing else. Except for the hook and the closing statement, the essay keeps the focus upon developing and supporting the main ideas. I could have included a background paragraph after my introduction, and I could have balanced my argument with logical counterargument. You ll need to return to my class (or at least to this textbook) for the fall semester to see how those parts are developed, because we are learning the five- paragraph academic essay form first. Finally, please remember the proper development of any writing. I did not just sit down at the computer to write a proper academic essay. The meeting with my student (the hook/closing statement) happened first, and I thought about that for a few days. When I decided to write an essay about it for my writing class, I considered my purpose (to state my ideas about studying literature, but also to create a new sample essay for my class) and, of course, my intended audience. I did several minutes of brainstorming (I actually used listing and diagramming ). A couple of days after the brainstorming (adding and revising a few ideas in my notes), I made an outline. Then I was ready to write the essay.
10 The initial outline Thesis: three reasons why English language students should also study literature A. to learn about humanity as a whole and the individual self 1. poems and fiction written hundreds of years ago are still relevant today 2. literature from different countries and cultures teach us about the world then and now 3. reading literature invites the reader to search his or her soul for comparison and improvement B. because the department makes them 1. every life has something that simply must be done 2. all organizations need some type of system to follow 3. learn when to question authority and when to follow it C. to gain the full benefit of a university education 1. the purpose of a univers ity is to provide a range of learning experiences 2. focused and specialized training is available go to a hagwon! 3. adults with a wide range of experience have a wider range of understanding Discussion of the initial outline Do you notice something missing from the formal outline? Do you notice something wrong about the outline? I did not bother to outline my introduction and conclusion paragraphs. There are two reasons: the most important reason is that I was taught to outline this way, because it is more important (and more effective) to compose or arrange the most important ideas first. (The second reason is that I was already thinking about using the actual encounter with my student as my hook and closing statement. Also, in the finished essay, the organization of ideas has changed. The B section of my outline became my first body paragraph instead of my second one, and the A ideas were moved to the third body paragraph. There was nothing wrong with following my original outline, but in the rewriting/revision part of the writing process, I decided to change the original order; I thought it might be a more effective arrangement. Sample Formal Essay 2 The Transaction Is it necessary for a reader to want to spend a year alone in the woods in order to enjoy reading On Walden Pond by Henry David Thoreau? Do only scientists enjoy reading about scientific topics? I can become interested in almost any topic, if I feel the writer s enthusiasm for his or her topic as I am reading. This is what I consider good writing: writers may use different writing methods,
11 there are some common effects, and the personal transaction between writer and reader is the most important part of good writing. There isn t any right way to write well. Different writers have always used different methods; some write by day, others by night. Some people need silence, but others turn on the radio. Some write by hand, and others use computers. Some older writers still prefer their old- fashioned typewriters. Some writers write their entire draft in one long burst and then revise after they have finished, but other writers fiddle constantly with their writing and cannot move on to the second paragraph until they feel the first paragraph is perfect. The writing method is often a reflection of the writer s personality, although sometimes the writer s real job may affect the writing process. Since highly successful writers employ vastly different processes, it is obvious that how writers write does not control how well they write. While the process may vary, all writers share something in common. All of them are vulnerable and all of them are tense. They are driven by a compulsion to put some part of themselves on paper, and yet they don t just write what comes naturally. They sit down to perform an act of writing, and the self who emerges on paper is a far stiffer person than the one who sat down. This can obviously affect the audience, for no what the topic is, the reader is always aware that there is a human life form behind the printed word and it is natural for a human reader to seek some type of connection with the writer. Sometimes it is difficult for the audience to find the real man or woman behind all the tension. Ultimately, however, the product that any writer has to sell is not his or her subject, but who he or she is. This personal transaction the audience discovering the real writer, the enthusiasm, the emotional baggage is the heart of good nonfiction writing. If the personal transaction is accomplished, the audience will share the humanity and warmth of the writer. Good writing is alive, it keeps the reader reading from one paragraph to the next, and it doesn t need tricks or gimmicks. It only requires using the language in a way that will achieve the greatest strength and the least clutter. In conclusion, good writers make a personal connection to their readers no matter what writing methods they use or how stiff they are while they write. Can such principles be taught? Maybe not, but most of them can be learned. Discussion of Sample Formal Essay 2 The second formal essay sample is also familiar, because I have adapted Dr. Zinsser s informal essay from Unit 3 into a formal essay. I tried to keep his original ideas as close as possible to his original writing and often used his exact same words. However, to maintain focus on his thesis statement, I had to delete more than half of the original informal essay the entire discussion between the two writers has been removed. The second formal essay is complicated. In order to stay as close as possible to the original ideas, I had to create a difficult thesis statement (which also includes an essay map ). Keep in mind that the best thesis statements are presented clearly to the reader.
12 The Formal Essay Outline Thesis statement: Topic sentence 1: 1: 2: 3: Topic sentence 2: 1: 2: 3: Topic sentence 1: 1: 2: 3: Summary of main ideas: Note: Some textbooks and some teachers may require you to outline your entire introduction and conclusion paragraph. It s not necessary for my students to do this extra outline work.