Plain Language NAGC Review Bruce Corsino FAA Plain Language Program Manager bruce.corsino@faa.gov 202-493-4074
What Is Plain Language? Helps Users: Find what they need; Understand what they find the FIRST time they read or hear it; Use what they find to meet their needs; 2
Reader-Focused Writing It s not what you write---it s what your reader UNDERSTANDS! 3
The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do Thomas Jefferson 4
False Assumptions More words are better Bigger words are better 5
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WWII Air Raid memo from U.S. Gov t: Preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal and non Federal buildings occupied by the Federal Government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination. Such obscuration may be obtained either by blackout construction or by termination of the illumination. 7
President Roosevelt s revision: During an air raid, put something over the windows in buildings where they have to keep the work going. In buildings where they can let the work stop for a while, turn out the lights. 8
Grade Level and Readability Checks Reader s Digest = 65 Time Magazine = 52 Harvard Law Review = 30 9
Why use plain language? Saves Time, Staff and Money Improves Compliance Affects Customer Satisfaction Prevents Lawsuits Saves Lives Policy, Law and a Civil Right! 10
Saves Customer and Staff Time Old letter New letter Calls per month (per counselor) Calls per year (10 counselors) 9.4 1.6 1128 192 Department of Veterans Affairs form letter: Customer Calls after Plain Language revision (See: VA Regional Office, Jackson, MS, Jan 1999) 11
FAA Broadcast Automated Transit Benefits Application System vs. Your transit benefits will stop unless you +50% 12
2010 Federal Plain Writing Act 13
Federal Requirements 1. train all agency employees 2. insure each covered document you issue or revise complies with the Federal Plain Language Guidelines 3. create a plain language website 4. appoint a plain language official 5. report to Congress 14
Plain Language Toolkit Contains: Word Tools Formatting Tools General Guidance & References 15
Format Tools 16
Plain Language Format Tools USE: Headings Bullet Lists Illustrations Q & A formats Blank Space 17
Use Headings and Lists Each map must be based on assumptions regarding numbers of aircraft, aircraft types and mix, nighttime operations, airport layout, runway use, flight tracks, operational data, and compatible land uses. 18
Use Headings and Lists Map Instructions Your map must include: number of aircraft aircraft types and mix nighttime operations airport layout 19
Use Headings and Lists Statement Headings: Your map must include: Topic Headings: Map Instructions Question Headings: What must my map include? 20
Use Chunking for Long Lists How to make an apple pie: Dry Ingredients -- -- Wet Ingredients -- -- Cooking Instructions 21
Why Chunking Matters 22
Use Q & A or If-Then Formats We must receive your completed expense form on or before the 15th day of the second month following the month you are reporting if send your form by mail or fax, or the 25th day of the second month following the month you are reporting if you submit your form electronically. 23
Use Q & A or If-Then Formats When do I send my completed form? IF you send your form: THEN we must get it by: electronically the 25th day of the second month following the month you are reporting. By mail or fax the 15th day of the second month following the month you are reporting. 24
Use Tables Ferrier has 11 years of experience, has bid $29 million, and estimates completing the work in three years. Sokol has 5 years of experience, bid $27 million, and estimates completing the work in 30 months. Crane has 8 years experience, bid $28 million, and estimates completing the work in three years. 25
Use Tables Contractor Comparisons CONTRACTOR EXPERIENCE BID PRICE COMPLETION Ferrier 11 years $29 million 36 months Sokol 5 years $27 million 30 months Crane 9 years $28 million 36 months 26
Word Tools 27
Plain Language Word Tools Everyday Words Verbs Pronouns Contractions Active Voice Sentences Must vs. Shall 28
Most Important Word Tools --Pronouns --Use Active Voice --Free Your Verbs 29
Use Pronouns Identify who is acting Eliminate words/reduce time Makes your writing relevant/personal The Agency = The Reader = The Writer = We You I 30
No Pronouns This form must be completed by anyone requiring a badge and submitted to the security office. The badge applicant, sponsor (manager), and ACE-700 must complete it prior to issuance of any badge. POC: Bldg Mgr x3127. 31
With Five Pronouns If you need a badge, you must fill out this form. Your manager and ACE-700 must also fill it out. Submit your form to the security office. If you have questions, call the building manager on ext. 3127. 32
Use Pronouns Correctly!! 33
Free Your Verbs give a description of = describe provide assistance with = help/assist do the construction of = build/construct 34
Use ACTIVE voice 35
Passive Voice is NOT Past Tense! Use past tense! Don t use passive voice! 36
What is Passive Voice? The person doing the action follows the verb. A form of the verb to be is combined with the past participle of another verb. The fish was swallowed by John. John swallowed the fish. 37
The Weakness of Passive Voice Financial compensation will be provided. -Do I get the money?? -Who gives it to me?? We will pay you. 38
The Weakness of Passive Voice Safety Instructions Must Be Given. -Does it say who gives the instructions?? -Does it say who gets them?? You must give safety instructions to your passengers 39
Use ACTIVE voice & Pronouns Rebates are to be mailed to all taxpayers. You will get a rebate. A day-off will be granted by the agency. We will give you a day-off. 40
Change Passive to Active Voice A pieman was met by Simple Simon. Simple Simon met a pieman. The candlestick was jumped over by Jack. Jack jumped over the candlestick. 41
Use Active Voice Mistakes were made. I made mistakes. 42
Change Active to Passive Voice An old lady lived in a shoe. A shoe was lived in by an old lady. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers A peck of pickled peppers was picked by Peter Piper. 43
Why Passive Causes Pain 44
QUICK REVIEW 45
Use Everyday Words interface = be with talk to clearly necessitates= needs expeditious = fast 46
Free Your Verbs I made a choice to = I chose I ll be facilitating the process = I will facilitate/help we ll conduct an analysis of = we will study/analyze 47
Which is passive? shall deliver is delivered is delivering may deliver --is delivered. 48
Which is passive? will write is writing has written was written --was written. 49
What s the Active Voice Version? The boy was bitten by the dog. --The dog bit the boy. 50
What s the Active Voice Version? Notification was made to the public by the FAA. --The FAA notified the public. 51
What s the Active Version? The small stuff does not need to be sweat. --Don t sweat the small stuff 52
What s the Active Version? The attendees will be entertained by us. --We will rock you. 53
True or False? Is this Plain Language? a sudden, unauthorized descent to an altitude below that of the runway. 54
You be the Plain Language Expert For: The FAA 55
Elevator Sign: Elevators shall not be used in case of fire or electrical emergency. 56
Elevator Sign: Do not use these elevators if there is an emergency in this building. 57
You be the Plain Language Expert For: The Bus/Metro System 58
Bus Sign: These seats must be vacated for seniors and disabled persons 59
Bus Sign: You must give these seats to seniors and disabled persons 60
You be the Plain Language Expert For: NASA 61
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NASA: O-Ring Memos O-ring temperature limits have been achieved. VS. If you launch below 32, the O-rings will fail! 63
Plain Language in Real Documents 64
Aircraft Exit Row Instructions FAA Advisory Circular FAA Webpages 65
U.S. Postal Service Netflix 66
Thanks And Congratulations! 67