WORKBOOK
WORKBOOK by
Congratulations, you re awesome! How do I know? I know because, you ve done something very few people do you ve chosen to invest in your own success, to develop your influence, and nurture your own leadership. Introduction How to Use This Workbook In this workbook you will find questions and suggested activities that will help think about, reflect, and incorporate The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say. There is no right way to use this workbook. As a leader, you will probably know your own learning style (after all, how will you help others grow if you re not sure how to do it yourself?) You can use this workbook in whatever way works best for you. The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 3
If you re unsure, here are a few suggestions: ) Read The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say all the way through from beginning to end. Then take each chapter, one at a time, and read the accompanying section in the workbook. Write down your answers to each question and take time to reflect on the questions you can t readily answer. 2) Read The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say one chapter at a time. As you finish each chapter, reach the accompanying section in the workbook, taking time to reflect and answer the questions. Whether you choose to read it through first, then go back and process each chapter or you choose to go through it one chapter at a time, the key is to allow yourself time to think about the questions and really put them into practice. You might be able to do this by focusing on one chapter each week. Or you might really soak in the questions and phrases by considering one chapter each month and incorporating those practices into your leadership that month. 3) I mentioned it above, but actually write out your answers. It doesn t matter if you print out the workbook, use a notebook, or type your answers directly into the pdf, but definitely take the time to put them into real words. The act of thinking and writing can change your behavior, but only if you do it. 4) Work through the questions alone and with a group. Even if you re someone who learns well by reading and thinking in solitude, remember that leadership is a social activity. You can benefit significantly from having others discuss these questions with you (and you ll help them as well!). If you re part of a team of leaders, discussing these questions together can help your team build trust in one another. Note: if you re facilitating a group who use this workbook, you may want to combine chapters, 2, & 3 in one unit and then chapters 2 & 3 in another. It s up to you and what works for your schedule! The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 4
Part One: The Slow Road to Frustration and Failure
What to Do? Questions for reflection:. Do you remember the first team you were ever responsible to lead? 2. How did you feel? Were you excited? Scared? Anxious? Filled with anticipation? 3. What did you do that worked? 4. What did do that didn t work out the way you hoped? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 6
5. Which of those effective and ineffective leadership practices do you still use today? 6. Today, what are your leadership goals and objectives? What do you want to accomplish? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 7
2 How We React to Fear Questions for reflection and discussion:. How did you feel as you pictured the robbery happening? 2. Pay attention to your physical sensations. What happened in your body? Did you become tense? Energized? Or maybe very still? Describe the sensations you experienced: 3. What was it about the scenario with the robber that produced these feelings and physical reactions? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 8
4. As you read through the list of different responses people have to this scenario, would you consider any of these if the circumstances were different? 5. In your experience, how do you observe people to act when they have very little power over the situation? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 9
3 Fear in the Workplace. Have you been part of a workplace where a supervisor primarily relied on fear, threats, or intimidation? If so, how did you feel about it? 2. If so, what impact did it have on you and on the staff? 3. Have you ever worked for someone who may not have used fear, but who maintained tight control of everything and everyone? If so, what behaviors did they regularly exhibit? 4. If so, what impact did it have on you and on the staff? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 0
5. Thinking of your own leadership experiences (whether as an oldest child, a volunteer, or a titled supervisor), can you think of a time when you used fear, power, or control to get things done? a. How did you feel about it afterward? b. What happened? c. How did your team respond? d. How would you lead if you encountered that same situation today? Would you do anything differently next time? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook
4 The Toolbox. When you want to influence your team or other people to get something done, how do you do it? List as many methods as you can think of. 2. Put a star next to the items on the list that you use first or most often. 3. Reflecting on the items you starred: where did you learn these leadership behaviors? Did someone teach them to you? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 2
Did you discover them through experience? Did you observe them in another person or through story, movies, or television? 4. Now go back through the list and underline the methods that are most effective for you. 5. Did you underline and star the same items (are your most frequent leadership practices also your most effective)? If not, why do you think this happens? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 3
What strategies can help you use your most effective methods more often? 6. If you have a group to discuss your list with, compare lists and see which items you have in common and which ones you can learn from each other. The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 4
Part Two: The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say
5 You Can. Can you think of a leader, teacher, or mentor in your life that inspired you through their belief in you? 2. How did they communicate their belief? 3. How did it feel? 4. How did you respond? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 6
5. Thinking of your team, what are their strengths? What are they capable of (that maybe they don t even realize?) 6. How can you communicate your belief in your team collectively? 7. How can you communicate your belief in your team members as individuals? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 7
6 Try It!. Try this thought experiment with other leaders and managers in your organization: A frontline team member has an innovative idea. The idea isn t perfect, but with a little experimentation, it has the potential to solve a major problem or provide a major benefit. Now, imagine this person actually moving the idea from an interesting idea to implementation. Be as detailed in your thinking as you can. What specifically would they do? Talk to someone, fill out a card, schedule a meeting, etc.? What would happen then? Now write down every step the originator of the idea would go through as well as everyone associated with implementing the idea. Who would need to authorize it? How long would each step take? Write out the entire process and the time frame. Be brutally honest with how things actually work in your organization (not how you d like them to work). The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 8
As you review the process you just outlined, ask the following questions: 2. How long did it take from the time the person shared their idea to the time a pilot project actually happened? 3. As the idea was implemented, was there a feedback loop to improve the idea and make it viable? 4. As the revised idea was implemented, how was the originator involved? 5. How were they recognized and thanked in a meaningful way? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 9
6. As a leadership team (or by yourself if you ve done this one alone), review your answers to the last four questions and ask yourself: If you were a frontline team member, would it be worth your time and energy to think of solutions and new ideas (much less to share them)? 7. If your answer to the last question is No, where can you make changes to improve the process, remove barriers, and increase recognition? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 20
7 I Believe. Why are you a part of your organization? 2. Why do you lead? 3. What values motivate you to do the work you do? 4. Is there a specific incident or significant story that demonstrates or summarizes your values and the importance of the work you do? 5. When was the last time (if ever) that you shared your motivations and that significant story with your team? If it s been more than 90 days, when in the next two weeks can you do it? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 2
6. If your main reasons for doing management or supervisory work center around money, power, or prestige, how can you increase your focus on the people you lead? 7. If your operational systems are documented, review one system each week and ask why it is necessary. How does it contribute to the organization s success? If the answer is not compelling, talk to people using the process and get their perspective. 8. If, after a thorough review, the process does not have a compelling why, how can you eliminate it? 9. When was the last time your team shared the reasons why they are a part of the team? If it s been more than 30 days, when can you schedule 5 0 minutes to share the 2x Productivity exercise outlined on page 49? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 22
8 How Can I Help?. How would you answer the opening quote of Chapter 8: Are your people better off when they leave than when they arrived? 2. How do you know whether your people are better off? Are you guessing or can you point to specific skills, knowledge, and experiences. What do your people say? 3. Can you remember a leader in your life about whom you would definitely say you were better off when you left than when you arrived? 4. If so, what did they do that helped you to be better off? List every behavior, system, or anything else they did that made you better: The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 23
5. If you were to go ask your team How can I help? right now, what do you think they would say? Write down your predictions. 6. Now, go ask them and write down their responses. 7. Where did your predictions and their actual requests differ? What does that tell you about what your team needs right now? 8. How can you begin to give them help (training, equipment, thinking, or barrier-removal) that will make them more self-sufficient in these areas? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 24
9 I m Sorry. Can you think of a leader or authority figure in your life who did something wrong and refused to acknowledge it? 2. How did it feel when they would not admit it or apologize? 3. In your opinion, why do so many leaders, managers, and supervisors struggle to admit they ve done something wrong, take responsibility, and apologize? 4. Do you find it difficult to apologize to your team when you ve made a mistake? (If so, you re not alone.) The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 25
5. What makes this difficult? 6. Do you ever apologize for things that are not your responsibility? If so, this can weaken your credibility. Save I m sorry for your own mistakes. If you want to express sincere empathy when another person is hurting, try statements of feeling and understanding (eg: That must hurt so much or I felt so alone when that happened to me. Please know I am here to help. I m sorry. The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 26
0 That Will Not Happen Here. Have you ever had a supervisor who permitted poor performance? 2. If so, how did you and your teammates respond? 3. Are there performance issues on your team that you have not addressed? 4. If so, when can you schedule a meeting to discuss the issue? If you re not sure what to say, for most low-level issues, you can use this simple formula: The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 27
) Describe the facts as you observed them. 2) Ask the person if they observed the same facts you did. 3) Restate the expectation. 4) Briefly explain the consequences to the team when the expectation is not met. 5) Ask the person if they can meet the expectation going forward. Do they need your help to do so? (This last question is important. Ask it without judgment or shaming and you may discover the individual doesn t have the training to perform their job.) The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 28
6) Thank the individual for their time and contribution to the team. If the issue is serious, involves a major violation of company policy, or if the person says no when you ask them if they can meet the expectation, document the conversation you held and contact your human resource department. The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 29
Nice!. Who are your personal encouragers the people who build you up, who celebrate your accomplishments, who call out the greatness in you? If you found it difficult to list anyone, make an intentional effort to find these people. It is difficult (not impossible, but difficult!) to give something you are not receiving. You may not have received this kind of affirmation and it may feel awkward at first, but be on the lookout for your cheerleaders and cherish them. 2. What are your words? Recently, I ve been paying attention to the words other people use. Talk show host Conan O Brien, for instance, tells the comedians and bands that perform on his show, That was fantastic! 3. Do you know how your team members like to receive appreciation? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 30
4. If not, ask them. Do it conversationally, not as an assignment. If they are unsure, keep your eyes and ears open. If you spend a little time with people, you ll learn what they enjoy and what is meaningful to them. An easy suggestion: go to Starbucks with your team. Let everyone order his or her own drink. Pay for them, get the itemized receipt and put a name next to each beverage. Wait two months and bring your team their favorite drink. 5. If encouragement and gratitude do not come easily to you (don t worry, you re not a bad person for some of us it s just more difficult), schedule gratitude in your calendar for 5 minutes each week. Take that time to think over the previous week and write a short two-sentence note to say thank you. Or, perhaps walk around and find people doing their job their everyday, normal job, and thank them for doing it. Nothing too heavy, just a simple, Julie, I really appreciate you taking care of those orders every week. Thanks! and walk away. 6. If you struggle with encouraging others, you can develop strength in this area by making a game of it. Start looking for every moment you are given something whether a tangible item or an act of service. Keep score see if you can get a higher score tomorrow. (This sounds simple maybe even silly but it will change your life!) The next step is to make gratitude a way of life. If someone gives you something or does something for you, say thank you. For every report handed to you, for every door held open, and for all the change you receive back from a cashier say thank you. Every time. 7. How do you celebrate team accomplishments? If you haven t been doing it, start scheduling in celebration after a project due date. The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 3
8. What has your team done well this week? List as many items as you can. 9. Have you expressed your appreciation for the items you listed? If not, take care of that right now with a phone call, an email, a written note, or an in-person comment. Let them know! How will you say thank you? Thank you! The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 32
Part Three: How to Say What Your Team Needs to Hear
2 Into Practice. It is very normal to read something like The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say and want to share it with other people. Who are the people you would like to share this with? 2. Before you share it with them, take a few moments to read through the list of seven things your team needs to hear you say. Next to each phrase, write an A, B, or C, according to how you currently use that phrase. Be honest with yourself! A: I use this phrase consistently and my behaviors match what I say. My team would affirm both that I say it and live it. B: I use this phrase occasionally. My behaviors related to this phrase are inconsistent and my team would say I could say it and live it more often. C: I almost never use this phrase and my team might not be able to remember the last time they heard me say it or saw me live it.. You Can. 2. Try it! 3. I Believe... a. Share your values b. Connect the what to the why The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 34
4. How Can I Help? a. Provide equipment and skills b. Remove Barriers c. Ask Good Questions 5. I m Sorry. 6. That Will Not Happen Here. 7. Nice! 3. Choose either one B or one C that you would like to work on. B s are areas where you can make progress with less effort. C s require more work on your part, but will make a significant impact on your leadership and influence. What area will you focus on for the next 30 days? What specific actions will you take within the next 24 hours to start using this phrase? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 35
4. Sustaining change over time is easier when you pick the right problem, people, and place. a. The Right Problem Why do you want to improve your leadership skills? What will greater influence and credibility mean for you, your team, and your organization? b. The Right People Who can join you or encourage you in practicing positive leadership? Can you hire a leadership coach, join a community of leaders, or start a group to work through The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say. Who are your people? c. The Right Place How can you modify your environment to support your change? The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 36
You might use physical cues (eg a bracelet, ring, or item in your pocket), calendar reminders, photographs, change the way you walk through your office anything that physically makes it more likely for you to remember and take action. 5. Now that you ve committed yourself to action, how can you invite others to join you in your leadership journey? Review the list from the first question in this section. How will you share The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say with those folks? (Some readers have even bought a copy for all the leaders in their life and given them as gifts.) However you choose to share, thank you! The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 37
3 A Message for Leaders If you haven t already done so, please connect with me and let me know how you are using The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say. I d love to hear from you! Email: david@trailblazeinc.com Website and Blog: http://trailblazeinc.com Twitter: @davidmdye LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidmdye Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dmdye Google+: http://gplus.to/davidmdye Thank you once again for investing in you. You will influence so many people on your team, in your organization, and ultimately you make the world a better place for all of us. Thank you. You really are awesome! The Seven Things Your Team Needs to Hear You Say workbook 38