Leader Manual SOMETHING HAPPENS IN CIRCLES THAT JUST DOESN T HAPPEN IN ROWS

Leader Manual SOMETHING HAPPENS IN CIRCLES THAT JUST DOESN T HAPPEN IN ROWS

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TABLE OF CONTENTS Welcome 4 Why we do Life Groups 5 Great Leaders 6-7 Great Life Group Meetings 9-10 Dealing with Potential Challenges 12-15 Communication 16-17 Taking Attendance 18 The First Meeting + Sample Semester Schedule 19-20 Helpful Resources 21 Notes 22-23 3

WELCOME Dear Life Group Leaders and Hosts, I m so proud of you and thankful that you are taking the step to be a Life Group leader this semester. Life Groups are a big part of who we are and what we do. One of the best ways for someone to establish intentional relationships that are a key to sustained spiritual growth is to join a Life Group. Life Groups are where the church s idea of community and family has an opportunity to be lived out. We re excited each time we launch a new semester of Life Groups because we know that lives will be changed for the better as a result. As leaders you get to be a part of making all of this happen. Your role begins with praying faithfully for your group members each week. Also, pray as you prepare and let God guide you in your planning. Prayer is the key to a great group. Good things ahead! Much love, Joanne Domagala Executive Pastor Epic Church

WHY WE DO LIFE GROUPS God is in the business of changing lives in our city. That is why we make Life Group involvement a priority at Epic. TO EXPERIENCE LIFE CHANGE You ve heard us frequently say that something happens in circles, that just doesn t happen in rows and we truly believe that. The primary goal of Life Groups is to help build and strengthen relational connections in our church. To put it simply, life change happens best in community. TO MOVE CLOSER TO JESUS We understand that everyone is at a different place in their own personal journey of faith. One person who may have been around church their whole life could be sitting right next to a person who may be just testing the waters with Jesus. No matter where people are in their walk, we want them to grow personally and we want our Life Groups to help them all take their next steps. TO RECEIVE + GIVE CARE As we continue to grow bigger as a church, we know that we also have to grow smaller. With the relational connections formed in Life Groups, we believe that this is where we can really encourage one another and motivate one another to acts of love and good works (Hebrews 10:24-25). TO DEVELOP NEW LEADERS Our goal is to make sure that everyone who wants to join a Life Group has the opportunity to. This simply means that we are constantly expanding our groups and need to raise up new Group Leaders and Hosts each semester. As a Group Leader, you have the front row seat to life change and growth in your own groups and we need your help identifying and developing new leaders to join our team. 5

GREAT LEADERS IT S ALL ABOUT LOVE The thought of leading a Life Group can feel a bit intimidating. Can I do this job? Do I have what it takes? Well, here s the good news: we are convinced that you will do a great job if: You love Jesus you trust in him and are growing in him You love people you want to invest in others and see them grow You love Epic Church you believe in our mission to lead people in a growing relationship with Jesus WHAT EXACTLY DOES A LEADER DO? Beyond these basic qualifications, what exactly is your job as a Leader? It s not to teach the group. And it s not just to host the group at your home. Your role involves far more than that. Your job in two words: prepare and guide You are to prepare for your time together as a group, and then to guide everyone through activities that will help them connect with each other relationally, grow in their faith, give and receive care, and develop into new leaders. Preparing well means spending time reviewing your content or planning your activity, starting and ending your group on time, and communicating with your group on a regular basis so that everyone knows what to bring and expect during your time together. Guiding a group well means knowing that there will be times in your group when God moves in such a way that you ll need to adjust the plan you had prepared. For example, you may observe someone welling up with strong emotions in the midst of a discussion, or perhaps someone opens up about a major issue going on in their lives. 6

When that happens, the last thing you want to do is move on to the next discussion question! Instead, be sensitive and follow God s lead, guiding the group to respond thoughtfully to the needs that have been revealed. In other words, guide your group with your eyes and heart open, so that they can truly love and support one another. YOU CAN DO THIS! Leading a Life Group may indeed be hard work, but we believe that you can do it with God s help, and our support. You have been assigned a Life Group Coordinator whose sole job is to help you succeed as a Leader! Please be sure to communicate with them and let them know of any challenges or questions you have during the semester. 7

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GREAT LIFE GROUP MEETINGS FOCUS THE GROUP Remember, Life Groups are about building relational connections, giving people an opportunity to take their next steps towards Jesus, receiving and giving care as needed, and developing others to lead. Remind yourself throughout the semester of these four goals and make any adjustments needed to help accomplish them. ORGANIZE THE DETAILS Is the schedule all set for the group, or will you be settling that at your first meeting? Is the location all set for your first meeting, as well as the start and end time? Is the host for your first meeting aware of how many chairs they ll need to have on hand, and are you able to connect your laptop (if you need one) to their TV or do you have what you need to play any videos? Is someone set to bring snacks, and someone else drinks? What about plates, cups and napkins? And does everyone know how many people to plan for? COMMUNICATE IN ADVANCE Send out a friendly reminder a few days before each meeting. See this as one more way to connect with the members of your group. Make it personal and encouraging. Make sure everyone has directions to where you ll be meeting. Note any parking concerns or offer suggestions on public transportation options. Also, be sure to note if the host has any pets that could impact anyone with allergies. Remind everyone of what to bring (Bible, book, snacks they signed up for, etc). 9

SHARE AND ENCOURAGE Once you are ready to begin, use a conversation starter to help get people talking or think of other ways to encourage initial sharing as it relates to the topic. Be creative and have fun! Let people respond when and as they wish-that is, don t put people on the spot. But feel free to get the ball rolling with questions like, What do you guys think? Anyone want to start? Invite the group to share their stories as it relates to a question. FACILITATE THE DISCUSSION Be okay with short periods of silence as people process a question. And don t answer the question yourself too quickly in order to break the silence. After someone shares, thank them and ask something like, Anyone else? or Does anyone have a different insight or perspective? Your job at this point is to keep the discussion going so that the group can learn from each other. Be thoughtful as to when it s time to move on to the next question, but always invite any final comments before doing so. When it s time to wrap up (and do be mindful of the time), challenge everyone to consider what God is saying to them in light of the discussion. That is, invite people to share their main take-away, and how they feel God is calling them to respond to it, or apply it to their life, for the coming week. INVITE PRAYER Remind people that short, simple prayers from the heart are great in a group setting, as this will allow many to participate, and everyone to follow along and affirm what is being said. Model this when you pray for the group. Remember both to leave sufficient time for this sharing and praying, and to end the meeting at the agreed upon ending time. Prayers should be encouraged to take place in smaller groups. Most people will pray if you divide people into pairs or groups of three. LOOK AHEAD As you end, make sure everyone knows the plan for the next meeting - when and where it will be, and who is scheduled to bring what.

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DEALING WITH POTENTIAL CHALLENGES Every Life Group faces challenges along the path of learning to connect well with God, with each other, and with their community. Here are some of the most common ones you may encounter along with brief suggestions for how to overcome them. If any of these challenges are a part of your group, please let your Coordinator know so that they can help you resolve them. PEOPLE SHOW UP LATE Communicate well with the group concerning the start (and end) time, and begin on time with whoever is there. And don t make a big deal about people arriving late. Most groups start by informally catching up from their week, but remind everyone that such time is really important for connecting with each other, so they should do their best to be on time and not miss out. PEOPLE DON T SHOW UP AT ALL Follow up with those who don t make it; let them know they were missed and fill them in on what went on and what is planned for next week. If they hadn t informed you of their absence ahead of time, ask them to try to do so next time. SOMEONE TALKS TOO MUCH Realize that eye contact often encourages people to respond, so you may want to sit next to an overly talkative person, so as to avoid regular eye contact. Direct specific questions to others in the group, to get them talking first. At some point, you may need to speak privately with the overly talkative person and ask that they allow others to share first, and to be more selective with their own sharing. Ask them also to allow for a time of silence while others process the question, and to resist the temptation to jump in with their thoughts before anyone else does. 12

SOMEONE HARDLY TALKS AT ALL Again, eye contact is important; looking directly at people may encourage a response. Gently direct questions to those who have not shared, inviting them to respond. If your group is large, consider sub-dividing for some of the discussion, as people are more apt to share in a smaller group. Be affirming when a quiet person (or anyone) finally opens up. If someone remains quiet throughout the evening, you may want to follow up with them privately and say something like, Hey, I noticed you didn t share at all this evening - is everything okay? SOMEONE IS OVERLY NEEDY You ll want your group to be a safe place for people to share their needs and receive support, but sometimes people have ongoing problems that can dominate your time together. When you observe this, ask God for wisdom and grace. Let the group rally around the person when their need is first expressed, and in following up on their progress in future weeks. That s a good thing! But if their need begins to monopolize the group s time, you ll need to talk with the person privately to help them understand the limitations of the group, and to suggest other resources where they can get the help they really need (your Coordinator can help with this). 13

However, do encourage your group to continue to support the person in the practical ways that they can while the person pursues 14 outside help. SOMEONE DISRUPTS THE GROUP Tension in a group isn t always a bad thing - it can help the group to work through challenges and grow closer together, when opinions vary (and they will). But when someone disrupts the group, perhaps by being argumentative or unkind, you ll need to be ready to lovingly confront that person and help the rest of the group to be gracious in working through the tension. Ask God for wisdom at such times. As Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4:2-3: Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. SOMEONE REACTS EMOTIONALLY In the midst of sharing, or perhaps in hearing what someone else shares, a person might well up with emotion. Be sensitive at these times, believing that God is at work in that person s heart, and gently invite them to share what s going on. If they re willing and able to share, encourage the group to rally around them with their encouragement and prayers. That is, don t worry about deviating from your discussion plan; this is likely a special moment for the group to grow closer to one another. Make sure to be mindful and considerate of the person who is sharing. As a leader, pray for that person in the moment and then make plans to talk privately together after your group meeting. DISCUSSION GOES OFF ON A TANGENT Some tangents can be fruitful while others end up being distracting and unhelpful, so pray for discernment. In most cases, you ll want to keep the group focused on the topic or theme for the evening, so affirm the interest and lively discussion, but gently steer the conversation back to where it needs to be - perhaps suggesting that the other discussion can be picked up at another time.

DISCUSSION ISN T LIVELY This challenge (and the two that follow) may be the result of group members not really knowing each other yet. That is, they may not feel that the group is a safe enough place yet to share their thoughts. Consider what you can do to turn that around - have some fun together; make good use of icebreaker activities; start with food. Of course, it also might be that the discussion questions are just not connecting with people. Consider adapting the questions, or adding ones that you feel will generate better discussion. SHARING IS SUPERFICIAL This will probably be the case when people are just starting to share, but you can help to encourage authenticity and vulnerability by your own sharing. Set the example that you want your group members to follow. When it comes to prayer, consider setting the ground rule of keeping prayer requests personal, that is, encouraging people to share only what they are wrestling with personally rather than second or third party needs. HARDLY ANYONE PRAYS It may take time for some people to feel comfortable praying out loud in the group-that s okay. Be patient! Guide the prayer time in such a way that it s easy for people to participate. For example, focus on a topic, like giving thanks for something that happened in the past week, and then invite everyone to pray just one sentence. Consider having the men and women share and pray together in separate groups after the main discussion. This is particularly helpful in getting the guys to open up. You may encounter some other challenges that aren t listed here. Again, feel free to lean on your coordinator for advice and support, as they are there to help you succeed. 15

COMMUNICATION Communicating with your group members is very important. From the time they sign up to the end of the semester you will need to be communicating regularly. WELCOME EMAIL Every new sign up will receive a welcome email from you within 24 hours. The email will include a friendly welcome message, general details about the group and what they can expect for the semester. Make it fun and let them see your personality. FIRST WEEK EMAIL One week before your group begins you will send an email to each group member with specific details about when and where your group will be meeting and what, if anything, they will need for the first meeting. WEEKLY EMAILS Each week you will email your group with details for that week s meeting, prayer requests, important group information, etc. These emails should go out on the same day each week and be sent at least 2 days before you meet. END OF SEMESTER EMAIL At the end of the semester you will email your group to recap what an awesome semester you had and to thank them for being part of the group. This is also a great time to encourage them to sign up to lead a group the following semester. 16

MEMBER DOES NOT ATTEND If a member does not show up to your first meeting you will give them a call to check in and send a follow up email if you do not get to speak with them. You want them to know that you noticed that they were not there and that you hope they will be able to join the group the following week. If a member does not attend the group again the second week then you will follow up with an email. If they still do not attend the third week then you would reach out one more time to see if they are still interested in joining the group. MEMBER STOPS ATTENDING If a group member misses a week be sure to reach out to them with an email. Let them know that they were missed and catch them up on what happened at group. If a member misses multiple weeks in a row without letting you know ahead of time, give them a call to check in and make sure that everything is ok. 17

TAKING ATTENDANCE Taking attendance every week is required. It s super important for you to take attendance because it is how we measure the health of our groups in order to make improvements. It is also how you will know who you may need to follow up with each week. You will receive an email reminder asking if your group met that week. If you click yes you will then receive a link to take attendance. You can log in to your Group Vitals account and update your settings so that you receive a text message with the link rather than an email. You can also select when the text will be sent, during your meeting, before you get started, etc. This may be a better option since it puts the link right in your hands. You will receive an email inviting you to set up your Group Vitals (our life group tool for attendance and communication) account, and then an email with detailed instructions on how to use it s features and how to set up your attendance reminders. *There is a link to log in to Group Vitals on the Life Groups page of our website (www.epic.church/lifegroups). 18

YOUR FIRST MEETING We encourage you to keep things at your first Life Group Meeting casual, informative, and inviting. The main goal of your Week 01: Introduction Week is to get to know your group members and to start fostering relational connections. Here is a sample agenda of what you can do at your first meeting (times noted are for a sample 7:00 PM 8:30 PM group meeting). 7:00 7:20 Casual Meet + Greet (Make a special effort to welcome new people) 7:20 7:35 Ice-Breaker Activity 7:35 7:50 Discuss Life Group Agreement (Make sure to bring copies for each person to sign; Read through each item and be sure to ask for any questions) 7:50 7:55 Snack Sign-Up List (Make sure to bring a copy with you for people to fill in; pass around a list and encourage everyone to sign up) 7:55 8:10 Group Topic or Activity (Give background information on your topic; discuss format for the group; provide reminder on where to buy book; etc.) 8:10 8:15 Discuss Semester Schedule (Review outline for the semester schedule; discuss Social Event and Service Project plans) 8:15-8:20 Closing Group Prayer 8:20 8:30 Additional Fellowship Time Please remember that it is important to start and end on time each week in order to be respectful of everyone s time commitments. 19

SAMPLE SEMESTER SCHEDULE Week 01: Introduction Week Week 02: Regular Group Meeting Week 03: Regular Group Meeting Week 04: Social Event Week 05: Regular Group Meeting Week 06: Regular Group Meeting Week 07: Community Outreach Week 08: Regular Group Meeting Week 09: Regular Group Meeting Week 10: Regular Group Meeting Week 11: Regular Group Meeting Week 12: End of Semester Wrap-Up Group Social Your group social should be lots of fun and include as many of your members as possible. The social does not need to be on the same day as your regular meeting, but it will replace your meeting for that week. Community Outreach Serving together is a great way to form connections between your group members. There are multiple options each month that Epic offers but you can also find your own project if that works better for your group. To see the options that Epic offers you can go to www.forphilly.com. Your community outreach project will replace one of your regular meetings.

RESOURCES YOUR LIFE GROUP COORDINATORS They will walk with you as you prepare, start, and grow your Life Group. They are there to get to know you, affirm you, and support you this semester. CENTER CITY: Mary Beth Ritchey marybeth.ritchey@epic.church FAIRMOUNT: Marlene Rivera marlene.rivera@epic.church PARKSIDE: Courtney Grugeon courtney.grugeon@epic.church ROXBOROUGH: Taniesha Salmons taniesha.salmons@epic.church ONLINE RESOURCES www.epic.church/lifegroupresources GROUP VITALS LOGIN https://epicchurch.groupvitals.com/login 21

NOTES THANK YOU! We are so glad you decided to lead or host a Life Group, and we are praying that this will be a life-changing experience both for you and for those in your group. And if you need anything, don t hesitate to ask! Thanks again!

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