Coaching Skills for Managers and Leaders: Part Two Facilitator: Alicia Santamaría
Introductions/Icebreaker Name and Organization What I know about coaching is. AND what I wonder is
Agenda and Objectives Review model and key concepts Explore power dynamics in coaching Learn 2 key coaching skills: o Giving Feedback o Sharing Explore 4 common coaching challenges Practice coaching (real play, not roleplay!) Agenda 9:30a 4:30p AM & PM break Lunch @ 12:00p 1:00p 3
Workshop Agreements
U6 Questions in a Hat?????
Slide 5 U6 Or jeopardy User, 2/25/2015
The Model 4
Coaching Practice Topic: What challenges have you had in using the coaching approach since Part One? Coach in pairs: 5 minutes each, 3 minutes of debrief each (8 x 2) Large Group Share: One thing you have done/tried What went well What is challenging
Power and Coaching
Power We managers [might] fail to acknowledge or take responsibility for how much power we have in our own organizations, over our own staff. So how can we, as managers, acknowledge and responsibly exercise our formal power and avoid abusing it? What s Power Got to Do With it? (2009 Management Assistance Group)
Types of Power Power OVER Power WITHIN How does coaching fit in? Power WITH Power UNDER 6 7
Reflection Questions 1. What power do you have (position, social) in your organization? 2. In what ways do you use this power? 3. What are you curious about? How might you use power differently at work? Thinking about social and positional power, how might coaching fit/not fit within these uses of power? 8
Power and culture We can call forth those hidden parts by building trust, creating open, vulnerable partnerships and by giving and inviting authenticity. Coaching for Transformation 9
Additional Reflection Questions: Institutional/Organizational How does power show up in your organization? Demographically, who tends to have it and who does not? How do cultural differences show up in your organization? 10
Power Interpersonal How might power dynamics/imbalances show up when you coach those you supervise? How might cultural differences show up when you coach those you supervise? 10
The Coaching Skills
Skill #3: Giving Feedback
Clapping Exercise Need 3 judges and 3 clapping contestants. Instructions for contestants: You will clap for 20 seconds. You will be judged based on the quality of your clapping on a 1 5 scale, with 5 being the best score and 1 being the worst score. You will each have one initial individual practice chance in front of the judges where you will be scored and given feedback. Then you will have the final group contest. Go ahead and step outside to get warmed up.
Debrief Contestants and Judges: What was that like for you? What happened in each round? Observers: What did you notice?
First Contestant You ve gotten feedback your marks but you have no idea what they re based on. You know you need to change something. But what? They ve given you no clue, so you re equally likely to change for the worse as change for the better.
Second Contestant You ve been told what not to do, but you don t know what your goal is. So you can avoid the behavior you know they didn t like (being quiet, starting too loudly and not having enough texture, and clapping too fast). But what are they looking for? There are many, many ways of clapping that avoid those things but still aren t right.
Third Contestant This feedback was the most useful. They tell you what your goal is eliminating a whole range of possible behaviors. They tell you which aspects of your behavior will help you towards optimal performance. They tell you what they don t like as well. And they even give you some ideas for behaviors or techniques you may not have thought about.
Moral of the Story: GIVE THE FEEDBACK THAT YOU WOULD NEED TO DO YOUR BEST
Self assessment How well do you receive and give feedback? Let s self assess 11 12
Receiving and Giving Feedback What did you learn?
Feedback What is feedback? Feedback is information about past behavior delivered in the present which may influence future behavior. Charles N. Seashore, Edith Whitfield Seashore, and Gerald M. Weinberg 13
The Impact of Feedback Feedback sits at the intersection between 2 core human needs: 13
Hard wiring and Temperament Show Sheila Heen Video Here U1 Baseline: our personal default level of wellbeing Swing: how far up or down we swing from our baseline Sustain and Recovery: how long it takes us to return to our baseline 13 14 Source: Thanks for the Feedback: The Art and Science of Receiving Feedback Well, Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
Slide 27 U1 Hopefully we can get the video embedded here: the url is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bolvo-odfc8 User, 2/25/2015
Two Types of Workplace Feedback Appreciative Feedback Purpose: To celebrate positive behavior or accomplishment, encourage continuation of valuable action or behavior Developmental Feedback Purpose: To help improve or develop performance 15
Feedback in a Few Steps 1. Describe the behavior 2. Impact (appreciative or developmental) 3. Request (more or change) 4. Coaching 15
Appreciative Feedback: Everyone wants to know how well he or she is doing. Spend time appreciating and reinforcing what you want someone to do more of. 16
Example Instead of : You were great in that meeting, thanks. Try: When you were clear and concise while explaining your idea at the meeting, it really helped the management team to focus and understand the benefits of your proposal more clearly. That will help us make a better decision for the program. I appreciate how well you prepared.
Example Instead of : You really handled that tough situation with the client well. Thanks, you re awesome! Try: I appreciate how well you handled that issue with the client. He was so upset but I noticed that because you were patient you helped him calm him down.he was finally able to see that you were trying to help. Your behavior got him to the resolution we needed identifying the right services for his needs.
Exercise 1. Write Think of someone at work you would like to appreciate and write down an appreciative feedback statement for that person. 2. Share Walk around and blurt it to at least 3 people. 3. Notice When I say freeze, notice what is happening in the room. 17
Developmental Feedback
Developmental Feedback Example 1. What is required in the future? (Point B) We need to talk about how you can achieve all your deadlines even while under stress. 2. What was specifically seen, heard or experienced? 3. When did this specifically happen? 4. What was/is the impact due to this action/behavior? Recently, you provided one compliance report out of seven on time. This one report was only 70% finished, not your usual 100% that we had come to expect from you, and not up to your usual quality. In the last month. We had to request extensions from our contractors which impacts our credibility and reputation. 5. What is your request? Let s review your workload and decide together how to avoid missing deadlines moving forward. 6. As you wrap coaching around the feedback, to help the person think about the feedback, which questions will be most useful to pose? What should we focus in on to turn this around? What is important to pay attention to? What is going on that you need to adjust? How can you adjust this? 18
Developmental Feedback Template 1. What is required in the future? (Point B) 2. What was specifically seen, heard or experienced? 3. When did this specifically happen? 4. What was/is the impact due to this action/behavior? 5. What is your request? 6. As you wrap coaching around the feedback, to help the person think about the feedback, which questions will be most useful to pose? 19
Exercise: Feedback Practice Speaker: Share a piece of developmental feedback with listener Listener: Help speaker to do the following Stay objective Use specific, observable language Add meaning
Strategies (silent reflection) What worked? How will you prepare? How will you remember? What support do you need?
Skill #4: Sharing
Sharing The skill of sharing is to know when to share Observation in the moment Hunch Ideas Examples Information and just how much to share. 20
Purpose of Sharing Bring about new awareness about behaviors Give perspective to a situation Invite others to step outside their normal space Provide important information useful to the situation Acknowledge and neutralize a situation Share examples that may help the other person identify with potential solutions Sharing is for their sake. Sharing is not about you. It is all about the other person. 20
Preparing to Share Review the example on Page 21 Now, listen to the situations and fill in the workbook with: The objective or subjective data How you might start the conversation What questions would be useful 21
Sharing Situation #1 Observation You are having an informal coaching conversation with one of your direct reports about a challenging client. He is a new member of your staff and during your conversation you notice he says the phrase I don t know 4 times. 21
Sharing Situation #1 Observation Data: Hearing him say I don t know 4 times Share: Can I quickly share an observation with you? I have heard you say I don t know multiple times during this conversation. Coaching Questions: How can you find out what you need to know? 21 What has worked for you in similar situations? What is your gut telling you about how to respond?
Sharing Situation #2 Information You are talking with a staff person about a new program your clinic is rolling out in partnership with a local social service provider. She is frustrated that the lead representative from the partner agency seems to ignore her and not give her a lot of respect. As you are coaching her on what she can do, you realize it might be helpful to share some things you have learned about working with this person in the past. 21
Sharing Situation #2 Information Data: They are having challenges with a partner that you have worked with before. Sharing: I ve work with Carlos myself and I wonder if it would be helpful to share what I have learned? Go on to share what you ve learned Coaching Questions: 21 In what ways is this information useful for you? How might you decide to approach her differently?
Coaching Challenges
Coaching Challenges Teach Back Breaking into 4 groups, we will tackle some of the most common coaching challenges and debrief each one together. Question: What are strategies for addressing each challenge?
Coaching Challenge #1 I am not sure when to stay in inquiry mode and when I simply need to tell people what to do
What is Your Goal? To give people information so they can act on something? if someone just needs information or it s their first time doing a task, you can just tell them what they need to know. OR To foster learning and get people to develop themselves?...if it is time for them to brainstorm or take more initiative, then use inquiry and the coaching approach.
Ask yourself If you answer yes to one of the following, coach the person instead of telling Is this person fairly familiar with this task? Is it time for this person to find answers for herself? Is this person capable of thinking more about this situation? Could this person learn from this situation if she thinks more about it? Have you been telling this person what to think for a while now? Do you feel that it s my job to give out answers to everything.
Coaching Challenge #2 Someone has come to me needing coaching and I don t have much time
Questions to use when... You don t have much time What do you need most in this conversation? What is most important out of everything you are saying? What can we address right now? What has got to be resolved? What can you do? What must you do next? What support do you need? When do you need to get going on this?
Coaching Challenge #3 I am trying to coach someone who constantly complains
Questions to use when... Coaching the constant complainer How is what you are saying helpful to your situation? How does the way you think about this situation affect you and others? What have you not yet asked for? What do you want here more than anything? If this moment could be different, how would you design it? What other perspective could you take right now? Where else might others be coming from? What is at the heart of this for you?
Tips for Coaching the Complainer The goal of your coaching is to take a person out of spinning negative energy and into a place of choice and action. Consider setting a time limit (like 2 minutes) for venting and then move the person forward. Acknowledge their complaint does not mean agree with it. Focus on expanding the other person s thinking. Keep your opinions to yourself and use neutral language. Don t tolerate negative thinking. Help them focus on what they CAN do rather than what they can t do.
To interrupt or not to interrupt What is your team culture around interrupting? How do you feel when you are interrupted? What could you design with your staff around your need to get to the bottom line sometimes and the best ways to do it...
Coaching Challenge #4 How do I coach someone who is resistant?
Questions to use when The person you are coaching is resistant Where are you coming from as you look at this situation? What has led you to think and feel this way? What will help the situation right now? What s preventing you from saying what you really think? What are the costs/payoffs of operating this way? What other perspective could you take on right now? What other way is there?
Tips for Coaching the Resister Remember resistance is reluctance to face necessary change and unchecked, the refusal to accept change can grow. The longer someone tells themselves a story of why not, the greater the chance temporary resistance turns into digging your heels in. Try to coach resistance early on before it becomes toxic. Behind most resistance lies a lack of trust the employee s question why? hasn t been answered. Be prepared before you coach.
5 Reasons People Resist Unmet needs I agreed to use this new computer system, but it doesn t work well enough for me, so I m not going to. Lack of safety Why try hard if we don t know if there will be layoffs? Lack of investment in time or financial resources I really don t want to do more without a promotion. Threatened identity I received development feedback to improve performance but I think I am fine the way I am. Change in control l ve been asked to step into this new role, which I don t want. I am going to do the least possible.
Plan to Coach How will you prepare to coach? 24
Inquiry Based Coaching Practice Person doing the coaching Observer Take Notes Person being coached
PRACTICE: Your Turn! 1) Person 1: Coachee In 1 2 minutes present a goal or challenge you are currently experiencing (e.g. I am struggling with time management, I need to have a tough conversation with someone and I am not sure how to bring it up, I need to develop a new evaluation system and I have no idea where to start). 2) Person 2: Coach Ask open ended, inquiry based questions to help the presenter identify solutions and next steps. Coach for 8 minutes. 3) Person 3: Observer You will observe the conversation. What did you see and hear? What worked? What else might the coach have asked to move the presenter closer to ideas or action? Then switch roles 25
Action Plan for Coaching Mastery Three things I will do differently, practice, try or share with my coworkers: 1. X 2. X 3. X 26
In Pairs Share 1 thing you will do differently, practice, or share when you get back into the office. Share one Pearl of Wisdom you are leaving with today.
A Watch Out A Verse An Offer
A Watch Out
A Verse The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. Plutarch, Greek Essayist
An Offer Alicia Santamaria adelante coaching + consulting alicia@adelantecc.com https://www.pinterest.com/adelantecc/ Lupe Publano CompassPoint LupeP@compasspoint.org
Wrap up & Evaluation Resources will be emailed after workshop Please complete your Evaluation Form Thank you!