1 How to Improve Your Written Work Using Marker Feedback: Being Relevant, Answering the Question, and Presentation This workshop will: Explain how to provide answers to assignments that are relevant both to the topic and instructions Provide the basics of how to write and appropriate assignment structure down to sentence level Discuss how to be clear and concise in your writing with proof-reading tips Teaching points: 1. How to answer the question/task 2. Assignment structure 3. Paragraph structure 4. Sentence structure 5. Brevity 6. Proofreading
2 1. How to answer the question/task When tutors and markers assess assignments, one of the elements they are looking for in your answer is relevance to the set topic and instructions given in the question or task. They want you to apply your general knowledge of an area to a specific principle/concept and ensure you use relevant evidence to show your understanding. You may see the following on feedback from tutors: You have not answered or addressed the question Student often either write too generally on a subject or write too little out of a lack of confidence, a lack of understanding what the question/task is asking for or a wish to impress the marker. Neither is the right thing to do and tutors will think that you either do not understand what is being asked of you (even if you do) and are stuck for something to say or trying to cover it by over-writing. Be specific Unpicking the question by identifying key words will help you to work out what your tutor is asking you to do. If you find them and define them, you can address them. *Don t forget AND is an important word as you will be expected to write about both of any linked items. There are two sorts of key words: command words which tell you how to answer the question/task topic words which inform you on the subject you are to write about Command words are code words asking you to either answer a question/task Descriptively Critically analytic Descriptive Test your knowledge of a subject and your ability to present ideas in a clear and organised way. You are expected to identify the component parts, main elements and individual features of any topic under discussion. Critically analytic Test your knowledge of a subject but they are more concerned with your ability to get below the surface of a subject. You are expected to examine it from different perspectives, points of view and (if applicable) to propose alternative ideas, models, and practices.
3 The following are typical command words for each type of question. You may well be familiar with these. Descriptive Account for Classify Define Demonstrate Describe Explain Illustrate Identify Outline Show how State Summarise Trace Critically analytic Analyse Comment on Compare and contrast Consider Criticise Discuss Distinguish between Evaluate Examine Explore Interpret Justify Great, so now you know whether they want you to simply describe something OR if they want you to go a bit deeper and ask why it does something and then evaluate it. But each of these terms is asking you to do something in particular. In the table below, the terms and action descriptions don t match. Together, we will work out which action does match the appropriate grouping: and draw a line from the group to the action. (Table on following page)
4 Descriptive/Analytic Discuss Examine Explore Evaluate Consider Interpret Comment on Outline Summarise Analyse Criticise Action expected You are expected to locate, identify, and present the main features, elements, or components of the topic under discussion and, if applicable, the underpinning theoretical knowledge of the subject. As above, plus you would be expected to present and explain examples to show that you understand how something works, e.g. how a theory, model, idea, or practice can be applied to a given situation. You are expected to identify and summarise the main points of the topic under discussion. Trace This means that you identify and outline the stages of development of the topic under discussion. Justify You would clarify why something is as it is, or what happened in any given situation. Compare and contrast If you see any of these command terms you are expected to identify and explain the main Distinguish between features of the subject under discussion, including the main theories, ideas, models, or practices underpinning the topic. If applicable, you would be expected to know of and weigh up any counter-arguments and to make connections between different ideas, Define Describe State Classify Identify Account for Explain Demonstrate Illustrate Show how models, or practices. This involves a detailed scrutiny of the topic in question. This could include explaining the origins, structure, organisation, or development of the topic in question, the positive and negative features of it, and the connections between theories, ideas, models, and practices. You would also demonstrate your awareness of any flaws in particular points of view, and your knowledge of alternative viewpoints. This involves making out a case and giving reasons to support a particular viewpoint, position, judgement, or decision against other possibilities. This involves a close study of the differences between one idea, phenomena, or situation, and another. You would need to identify the structure or features of one and make comparisons with another. You may be required to make a judgement on which is more applicable or relevant for the situation in question.
5 Activity 1a: Role play you as tutor In pairs, choose one command term and write a question/task relating to your course subject. Also, write down what you want your students to include in their answers. Use the space below to jot down your questions and requirements. Activity 1b: Role play you as tutor What topic words have you used in your questions? Highlight your topic words. If you are unsure about what an assignment is asking you to do, speak to your tutor 2. Assignment structure It makes sense for you to make it as easy as possible for your tutors (and you) by using accepted and logical structures throughout your written work. After all the hard work you have put in, you want the marker to identify your key points quickly with the minimum of effort. You are likely to see feedback from tutors saying: Your assignment was poorly structured The rule of 3 is the basic structure to a written essay assignment: Introduction: Main body: Conclusion: tell them what you are going to tell them tell them what you want to tell them tell them what you have told them
6 The graphic below generally represents the ratio of the three different components of a written essay assignment: Introduction: 6-7% Main body: 80-85% Conclusion: 8-10% Tutors and markers often have hundreds of assignments to read during an academic year. If you don t provide a trail moving from one stepping stone to the next without them having to do somersaults to get there, you are likely to lose marks. Successful assignments flow well, that is one paragraph follows smoothly from another as they are connected in some way. In this way, the marker can follow your line of reasoning as you build up your argument (if appropriate) or layout the features of an object/concept. Intro Para 1 Para 2 Para 3 Para 4 Conc Generally, a 1,500 word essay will have five or six themes plus an introduction and conclusion. One theme: one paragraph When you have finished your first draft, you will revise and amend your work to improve it. You may decide to move paragraphs around, include new ones or discard others (never delete them; copy them into another document for later use). This is editing and you always do this before you proofread.
7 3. Paragraph structure Paragraphs are the stepping stones mentioned earlier the tutor expects each paragraph to deal with ONE THEME ONLY. If you find you are going onto another point, start a new paragraph. They have a similar structure to the overall essay assignment: Introduction Main body Conclusion/Linking phrase or sentence These sort of paragraphs are called substansive as they contain the substance of your point. In more detail, these paragraphs consist of: Intro Main body Link/Conc Sets up the point Theme, clarification, evidence, (example) To next paragraph OR finishes off point Together we will identify the introductory and conclusory phrase/sentence, and identify the theme of the following paragraph. Mary Seacole, half-african half-scot, was born on the beautiful island of Jamaica. Her mother taught her how to nurse her neighbours when they were ill. Mary s mother also showed her how to run a hotel which involved washing the sheets, cleaning the rooms, ordering and cooking the food, serving customers, and dealing with the accounts. These skills helped her in her later life.
8 Occasionally, one point will not lead smoothly to the next so you would use a bridging paragraph. They do what they say on the tin: Offering a link when there is no easy-to-establish signpost to what is coming up next Can be shorter than regular paragraphs May be descriptive rather than substantive But may still contain citations to reference any material used to establish a new direction 4. Sentence structure The feedback on this subject could be worded like this: Your English is weak making it difficult to follow your arguments Below are basic guidelines to follow to avoid similar comments. A. Sentences are generally relatively short, 15-20 words on average, BUT variety adds interest Mary s own medical reputation was established during a series of cholera and yellow fever epidemics. She made her own medicines and emphasised high standards of hygiene as well as enforcing strict quarantine on victims. By these methods she saved many lives. B. Avoid repetition within sentences as repetition just makes the sentence more confusing because everything is repeated unnecessarily and this repetition reduces clarity and flow (because it s repetitious). A great website to use is www.thesaurus.com as it will provide a variety of alternative words to use make sure you take context into account. C. Ensuring your grammar and punctuation is correct is vital. Without the right basic sentence structure, your tutor may not be able to understand the point you are trying to make and not award you marks. If you need support for English Language skills (grammar, punctuation, structure, etc), The Language Centre will be able to help. Visit their website: www.brad.ac.uk/study/languages
9 5. Brevity This is about you being clear, and concise, i.e. short and to the point. Again, overwriting of sentences can mean you bury your point in a pile of words: your tutor is not a miner. He/she will try to chisel through to your point, you may have done too good a job and they may not find it. To reduce word count, you can substitute punctuation for words and a word for phrases. So A woman named Valerie Epson was the first female CEO of a large multi-national printer firm. 16 words Becomes Valerie Epson was the first female CEO of a multi-national printer firm. 12 words, a saving of 25% the passage below. Let s see by how many we can reduce the number of words in Before embarking on an approach to analyse the business model there is a need to explore the meaning of the business model. Paul Timmers (2000) has defined the business model as an architecture for product, service and information flows, including a description of the various business actors and their roles (p.32). Although there are different kinds of business model they have got one thing in common and that is they are designed to make money for their owners in the long run. (82 words)
10 Activity 2: Reduce the word count In pairs, read the following and highlight where words/phrases can be removed or replaced by punctuation/words. A. In several of their published books, Walking Made Easy and Hiking for Laughs, Bill Hewson and Patrick Abernathy, the authors behind the series, made consistent reference to the famed monster of Loch Ness. B. Fiscal returns for this quarter do not show a greater upwards turn than the previous session that is why it could be said that there has been stability these three months. C. Whilst recent research has begun to look at further innovative infectious disease treatments, some current studies are also highlighting the need for more responsive treatments. 6. Proofreading We have already covered many aspects of writing you can correct through proofreading your work. Proofreading is the final stage of the assignment writing process (editing and drafting or re-writing come immediately before). Some Top Tips: Take a break between writing and proof-reading. Set the paper aside for the night - or just for twenty minutes! Proof-read at the time of day when you know you concentrate best. Proof-read backwards: begin at the end and work back through the text line by line. This will force you to look at the surface elements rather than the meaning of the paper. Use resources: if you are not sure if you need that comma or whether to use "affect" or "effect," look it up in a grammar book or an online language resource. Make use of dictionaries to check spellings. Know your own typical mistakes. Before you proof-read look over texts you have written in the past. Make a list of the errors you make repeatedly. Place a ruler under each line as you read it. This will give your eyes a manageable amount of text to read.
11 Proof-read for one type of error at a time. If commas are your most frequent problem, go through the paper checking just that one problem. Then proofread again for the next most frequent problem. BEWARE! Many spellcheckers are Americanised so spell works differently ( theatre and theater ) and spellcheckers do not pick up grammar which is why they do not recognise mistakes with words, such as there, their and they re because you have spelt them correctly. Keep a list of your feedback comments to see if the same comments keep coming up and deal with that issue. Think back to the circumstances under which you wrote the assignment did you pull an all-nighter or been out late or been ill, or had more than one to do? That may well have affected your finished assignment, so if you change those circumstances, you may well change the assignments you write in the future. Ask someone else to read over your text and help you to spot errors. Question: which member of university staff can you go to for proof-reading, assignment checking or assisted editing of your work? References Redman, P. (2001) Good essay writing. 2nd ed. London, Sage Publications Ltd. Answers
12 Command words Descriptive Define Describe State Classify Identify Action expected You are expected to locate, identify, and present the main features, elements, or components of the topic under discussion and, if applicable, the underpinning theoretical knowledge of the subject. Demonstrate Illustrate Show how As above, plus you would be expected to present and explain examples to show that you understand how something works, e.g. how a theory, model, idea, or practice can be applied to a given situation. Outline Summarise You are expected to identify and summarise the main points of the topic under discussion. Trace This means that you identify and outline the stages of development of the topic under discussion. Critically analytic Account for Explain Discuss Examine Explore Evaluate Consider Interpret Comment on Analyse Criticise Action expected You would clarify why something is as it is, or what happened in any given situation. If you see any of these command terms you are expected to identify and explain the main features of the subject under discussion, including the main theories, ideas, models, or practices underpinning the topic. If applicable, you would be expected to know of and weigh up any counter-arguments and to make connections between different ideas, models, or practices. This involves a detailed scrutiny of the topic in question. This could include explaining the origins, structure, organisation, or development of the topic in question, the positive and negative features of it, and the connections between theories, ideas, models, and practices. You would also demonstrate your awareness of any flaws in particular points of view, and your knowledge of alternative viewpoints. Justify This involves making out a case and giving reasons to support a particular viewpoint, position, judgement, or decision against other possibilities. Compare and contrast Distinguish between This involves a close study of the differences between one idea, phenomena, or situation, and another. You would need to identify the structure or features of one and make comparisons with another. You may be required to make a judgement on which is more applicable or relevant for the situation in question. Paragraph structure: Mary Seacole
13 Mary Seacole, half-african half-scot, was born on the beautiful island of Jamaica. Her mother taught her how to nurse her neighbours when they were ill. Mary s mother also showed her how to run a hotel which involved washing the sheets, cleaning the rooms, ordering and cooking the food, serving customers, and dealing with the accounts. These skills helped her in her later life. Introductory sentence: First Main body: Her background: learning to nurse, learning skills Conclusory/link sentence/phrase: Last sentence Brevity: Business model Before analysing the business model, its meaning required exploration. Timmers (2000) defined the business model as an architecture for product, service and information flows, including a description of the various business actors and their roles (p.32). Every business model has one thing in common: they are designed to make money. (48 words) Activity 2: Reduce the word count A. In Walking Made Easy and Hiking for Laughs, Hewson and Abernathy made consistent reference to the famed monster of Loch Ness. 33 to 21 words, 30% cut B. There has been financial stability these last three months. 31 to 9, 60% cut C. Recent research has looked at innovative infectious disease treatments with some studies highlighting the need for more responsive treatments. 25 to 19, 20% cut