Child Self-Esteem Bully Proof Program. [CSEBP Program] Home Practice Worksheet Session 1

Transcription

1 Child Self Esteem Bully Proof Program [CSEBP Program] Home Practice Worksheet Session 1 1 of 5

2 Week 1: Self-Esteem, Universal principles, and Your Influence as a Parent Goal: To establish a mindset that will facilitate your ability to bring about positive changes in your child s self-esteem Instructions - Exercise 1: Identifying Core Beliefs Let s do an exercise to identify what, if any, core beliefs you may have that could be either drawing low-self-esteem to you or your child, or preventing you from fostering a higher level of self-esteem in your child. A core belief is just a thought that you ve held over and over again for an extended period of time until it becomes a belief that you hold about yourself or your world. 1) Step 1: Take a few moments to think about what you truly want for your child as it relates to his self-esteem. Identify the problem or situation you are looking to resolve. For example, maybe you want your child to make his own decisions rather than relying on input from friends. Write your thoughts in the space below. 2) Step 2: Note the emotions, physical sensations, and negative thoughts, worries, or fears you are having as they relate to this problem. Then answer the following questions: a) What is the worst thing that could happen if this problem is not resolved (i.e., if he always relies on input from others when making decisions)? b) Suppose that happened. Then what would be the worst thing that could happen? 2 of 5

3 c) Suppose that happened. Then what would be the very worst thing that could happen? 3) Step 3: Now, consider what is the best thing that could happen? What is the ideal way for this to play out? 4) Step 4: Think of all the things that are preventing your child from realizing the ideal scenario you just described. List every thought that comes into your head, no matter how strange, silly, awful, or insignificant it seems. List as many reasons as you can think of. Another way to look at this is to ask yourself: o What story am I telling myself that might be supporting my child s experience of (fill in the blank, i.e., bad choices, lack of friends, etc.)? For example, perhaps you think your child relies on others in order to make decisions because she gives too much thought about what others think? Or maybe you don t think you ve set a good example with your own decision-making. o Note: If you just want to ensure that you raise your child with healthy self-esteem, but don t have any current concerns in that regard, than ask yourself if there is anything within you, any story, that might inhibit your child from developing a healthy self-esteem as she grows. 3 of 5

4 5) Step 5: Once you ve written down the reasons why you think you are in this situation with your child, read over all of your reasons, and decide which of the negative statements have the most power over you, which ones you feel most strongly in your body, and place a check by them. Then move on to Exercise 2. Instructions Exercise 2: Clearing Affirmations Now that you ve identified your negative beliefs related to your child and his or her self-esteem, you ll want to clear the negative belief by replacing it with a positive belief. We do this with affirmations. An affirmation is short, simple, positive statement or goal, written in the present tense, as if it were already true. Please note the following when completing your affirmations: o It should incorporate your name (or your child s name if the affirmation is for her) o It should relate directly to your core negative belief and turn it into a positive one. An example of a good affirmation might be I, Jill, am now experiencing situations with my child that provide her with good decision-making examples. Avoid statements such as I, Jill, will experience situations. Or I, Jill, want to experience situations... Making statements in this way places your goal in the future, and then that is where it will stay. You can also create an affirmation for your child following these same instructions. For example, your child s affirmation could be I now trust myself and the higher power inside me to make good decisions. 1) Step 1: Write an affirmation to counteract any negative beliefs you identified from the first exercise. My Affirmation: My Child s Affirmation: 4 of 5

5 2) Step 2: Hand write your clearing affirmation times per day. This shouldn t take more than 10 minutes per day. As you write, note the following: a. Try to feel the meaning and feelings behind the affirmation. If you feel any resistance, doubts, or negative thoughts about what you are writing, then turn the paper over and write out the negative thought or the reason why the affirmation can t work on the back of the paper. Then go back to writing your affirmation. b. When you are done, review the comments on the back of the paper and see if you ve unearthed any other core negative beliefs. If you have, you can write a new affirmation to counteract these negative beliefs, or continue with the current affirmation if it seems to be targeting what you want to create. 5 of 5