CONFLICT RESOLUTION. Positive and Negative Techniques

Transcription

1 CONFLICT RESOLUTION Positive and Negative Techniques

2 WHAT IS A CONFLICT? A conflict is a disagreement or fight between people with opposing points of view External Conflict: A disagreement between family members, friends, or community members. Internal Conflict: A struggle inside your own heart and mind.

3 CAUSES OF CONFLICT Personality Differences Specific Situations Emotions Power Issues Jealousy/Insecurity Cultural Differences Disrespect Drugs and Alcohol Poor Communication

4 What Does Work? Negotiation Mediation Looking at both sides A Win-Win attitude Yelling Refusing to change or compromise Refusing to work out the conflict Name calling Hitting Walking out Belittling

5 WHEN IS CONFLICT POSITIVE? When we are able to resolve internal and interpersonal conflicts, using win-win problem solving. Every relationship will have some conflicts at some time or other. When we use win-win problem solving, it strengthens the relationship. When we don t, it destroys the relationship.

6 OUTCOME OF POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION Resolving a conflict amongst a group of individuals can result in: A greater group understanding Group Cohesion: builds stronger respect and faith in one another s abilities Self Knowledge: allows group members to think about what is most important to them and to sharpen their focus

7 WHO OWNS THE PROBLEM? The person who is negatively affected by the Problem. What is the Owner s responsibility? To find a way to resolve the problem, even if he is not the cause of it.

8 RESPONDING TO CONFLICT When a conflict develops, you have two choices, you can either face it or ignore it. Before deciding, ask yourself the following: Are you in danger? Who is involved? What is the cause? What outcome do you expect?

9 SEARCH FOR WIN-WIN SOLUTION The Use of Power Three Responses: Fight Flight / Avoidance Obedience/ Shutting Down Identify Each Others Needs and Goals

10 PREPARATION Include only those concerned. Give a description of the problem that respects all involved. Explain how conflict resolution can enable all to win, and explain the steps. Agree not to slip back to the win/lose methods Find a good time and place with no distractions. Write down ideas.

11 IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM OR ISSUES Use I Messages to explain your own concerns, needs and basic goals Use reflective listening to hear and acknowledge the other s needs and basic goals Evaluate exactly what each of your actual needs are with the problem. List needs. Don t accept sudden promises not to cause the problem

12 BRAINSTORM TO GENERATE ALL POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS. Think of any and all possible ways to solve the problem so that everyone will have needs met. Evaluate later NOT NOW Do not criticize any suggestion. Feedback with reflective listening Write down all ideas suggested.

13 EVALUATE THE ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS Ask Will it work? Does it meet all the needs of both people? Are there any problems likely? Don t accept solutions for the sake of speed Use reflective listening and I-Messages

14 DECIDE ON THE BEST SOLUTION. Find a solutions that is mutually acceptable to both of you. If agreement seems difficult, Summarize areas of agreement. Restate needs, and look for new solutions. Make certain that both of you are committed to the solution

15 IMPLEMENTING THE SOLUTIONS Get Agreement on who does what by when Write this down and check all agree to it Refuse to remind or police the solutions If you want to set criteria for success, work it out now.

16 FOLLOW-UP EVALUATION Carry out agreed method. Wait to see if the conflict seems resolved. If the agreed upon solution doesn t work, remember it is the solution that failed, not the person, and seek for a new solution. Ask from time to time if the solution is working for both of you.

17 RESULTS OF WIN-WIN SOLUTIONS More creative in Thinking up solutions Take more responsibility for helping everyone have needs met Feeling of mutual respect Love grows deeper with every conflict resolved.

18 MEDIATION If the people involved can not resolve their issue on their own using either conflict resolution or negotiation a deadlock occurs A deadlock is a situation in which no further progress is possible in a dispute.

19 MEDIATION During a mediation, a neutral third party is used to help reach a solution that is agreeable to everyone Mediators are trained to withhold judgment and to be careful listeners. Mediators will not make decisions for people, instead they help those involved make decisions and actions needed to resolve the conflict.