Leadership Education II: Communication, Awareness, and Leadership. Chapter 1: Lesson 2. Learning to listen

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1 Leadership Education II: Communication, Awareness, and Leadership Chapter 1: Lesson 2 Learning to listen The Listening Process: - Hearing is one of five senses; it's your long-range sense - Hearing gives you the most information The Difference Between Listening and Hearing: - Hearing is continuous, unfocused, and unconscious. Listening - a focused, conscious activity. The need for better listening: - Listening is the neglected communication skill *Types of listening: 1- passive listening 2- competitive listening 3- active listening 4- reflective listening Passive listening- One way communication in which the receiver does not provide feedback and may or may not understand the sender's message. Ex- listening to the TV radio or teacher who doesn't take questions 1

2 Competitive listening takes place when the receiver is not listening closely. You listen only long enough to get what you think is the necessary information. Ex- competitive listening occurs when people talk pass each other in an argument neither person is listening to the other. Active listening a genuine, two-way communication. Ex- The receiver is paying for attention and thinking about the information the receiver ask questions if you're she does not understand the sender Reflective listening the receiver not only actively listen to the speaker but also tries to interpret the speakers feelings. Ex- people that can't talk without moving their hands The importance of listening: -Failing to listen can affect your health, or even your life. *Myths about listening: Myth #1- Listening is not my problem. Myth #2- listening and hearing are the same. Myth #3- Good readers are good listeners. Myth #4- Smart people are better listeners. Myth #5- Listening improves with age. Myth #6- Listening skills are hard to learn. *Bad Listening Habits: 2

3 Bad habit #1- Thinking about what to say rather than listening to the speaker. Ex- when you're conversing with someone, you're also carrying on an internal conversation, a conversation in your head Bad habit #2- Talking when you should be listening. Ex- talking in class while the teacher is teaching a lesson Bad habit #3- Interrupting. Ex- speaking to someone before someone has finished a previous statement Bad habit #4- Listening for what you expect to hear, rather than what is actually said. Ex- Your previous experiences can create ideas and opinions that can lead to stereotyping and prejudging Bad habit #5- Being preoccupied. Ex- plans, worries, bedrooms, fantasies, and memories that intrude you're thinking Bad habit #6- Falling victim to stereotyping. Ex- misunderstood communication Bad habit #7- Being self-centered. Ex- "what's in it for me?" Bad habit #8- Not paying attention. Ex- "first, seek to understand," Practicing effective listening techniques: *Techniques for effective listening- 3

4 1- Clarifying 2- Restating, paraphrasing, or mirroring 3- Acknowledging 4- Summarizing 5- Framing 6- Note taking Clarifying- you ask specific questions to ensure you have understood the message Ex- "When you say the research paper is due on the 15th, do you mean in class or by the end of the day?" Restating, paraphrasing, or mirroring use the speakers words or your own and repeat what you think the speaker has said. Ex-"Did I understand you correctly? Did you say that classes will be canceled if the temperature falls below 0 F? Acknowledging letting the speaker know do you have understood the message and that you appreciate the speaker s point of view. Ex- "I appreciate the fact that you can't attend every meeting. I realize that you live much further from school then most students do." Summarizing a way to review progress in conversation, you touch on the main ideas or conclusions, not on each individual point. You restate the main ideas 4

5 briefly and set the tone for the next subject or conversation. Ex- " OK. We've agreed that I'll work your shift on Thursday evening and Joel work mine on Friday morning, right?" Framing- let you see you whether the speaker is open to hearing your ideas. You can also let you draw suggested solutions from the speaker. Ex- "I can see your point that we need new team equipment but that we won't get it soon. Do you think we can make better use of what we have?" Note taking jot down words, phrases, diagrams, or the occasional sentence that reminds you of the speaker s main points. 5