Choice for Accountability

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Kenneth Craig
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1 Teamwork Tune-UP! A 90-minute self-facilitated team exercise on: Choice for Accountability Written by Dan Hogan, CMF, CPF Developing People and Teams That Work

3 Choice for Accountability - Exercise Desired Outcomes Time commitment Participants Preparation Discuss and agree on your team's definition of accountability, its associated behaviors plus how to use it to sustain your team's high performance. 90 minutes 7 15 teammates 1. All team members are to read this material & listen to video. 2. Be prepared to describe the behaviors that define accountability. Agenda A. Kick off agree on Desired Outcome B. Present the Choice Model C. Open discussion to gain a broader and deeper understanding of Choice, Accountability and Victimization D. List ideal accountable team behaviors and make a commitment to start or continue to use them going forward E. Close Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 3

4 Leaders Guide Before Tune UP Meeting 1. Choose a Tune UP! Leader and another person to be time keeper. Tune UP Leader sets date for exercise and invites all team members. All team members need to participate. 2. Distribute materials to participants (website link and this package) 1 2 weeks before workshop date. Ask participants to think about and list as many standard accountable or victim behaviors they can think of. 3. Before the workshop to review all materials as well as to watch the video and be prepared to conduct this Tune UP exercise. If you want / need support, contact Dan now! During Tune UP Meeting 4. Present & clarify the Outcomes & Agenda; time keeper gently announces progress. 5. It is very important to make certain all understand the goal of discusion. A good way to do this is to ask a teammate to explain it and then allow others to comment. 6. Don t let people just brush off this exercise. This is a most important exercise. 7. Team members are asked to use their Assertive Communication skills (#1 Tune UP) to deliver effective messages. Specifically, use step #2 in the assertive communicate model to describe the situation and step #4 to advocate what you want. 8. After your open discussion about what accountable behavior are and are not in this team, create a final list and them make a verbal commitment to hold yourself accountable for living them. After Tune UP Meeting 9. Conduct a 1 to 2 minute accountability moment reminder a the beginning of each team meeting. This will keep the concept of accountability alive. Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 4

5 Choice for Accountability. Overview One freedom you have is the freedom to choose how to respond to life s challenges. Freedom is the desire, willingness and ability to choose one s values and behaviors in order to choose accountability over victimization; oneness over separateness. To claim this freedom, you must train your mind. It s about training yourself to think differently; to think in an emotionally mature, responsible and accountable way. The aim of this tune up is to teach you an accountable thinking system rather than habits which are ultimately mindless. The Choice Model presented here is a thought system that deals with cause and not effect as opposed to other approaches that deal with behaviors. At every moment, you are making one of 2 choices. Those choices are either for accountability or victimization. It will always be one or the other. It will never be both. Even though it is undesirable, the reality is that we all are constantly moving back and forth between oneness & separateness, between accountability and victimization. This doesn t make us bad people; just confused and conflicted. Our life goal, however, is to experience more oneness than separateness. How you behave comes from what you think. Insanity; therefore, is thinking and behaving the same way over and over again and expecting different results. Think about this - you would not excuse insane behavior on your part by saying you could not help it. Why then should you condone insane thinking? We determine our accountability or victimization in relationships with others. Essentially, all of our relationships are classrooms or practice fields for our growth. If we are to have an accountable life, we must actively and consciously choose to learn and practice accountable principles and values with all of our relationships. The Choice Model helps you to begin the process of restoring to your mind (the Decision Maker) the power of choice thus giving you back your freedom. Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 5

6 You and your team have a pivotal CHOICE: believe and behave as one team or pull in separate directions. Separateness hinders performance. It sets up destructive competition, encourages little or no cooperation, reinforces power struggles, feeds the feeling of helplessness, and justifies finger pointing and blame. Oneness helps performance. It creates cooperation and collaboration, it nurtures healthy competition, and it empowers people to take accountability. The costs and benefits are clear. The CHOICE for oneness is better. What Choice will you and your team make? Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 6

8 Accountability DESIRE, WILLINGNESS AND ABILITY TO CHANGE MY ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOR IN ORDER TO EFFECTIVELY RESPOND TO DIFFICULT SITUATIONS. I will accept and own my part in the situation by asking myself, How have I created, promoted or allowed this situation to occur? Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 8

9 Why is Choice so important? Choice is the precursor to behavior. If you attempt to change your behavior without understanding the underlying choices you ve made, you ll be addressing the effect and not the cause. What is your Internal Decision-Maker? The term Decision Maker was created as a teaching device to help identify that aspect of you that is choosing. Your Decision Maker observes & chooses which path to follow. The Decision Maker can be thought of as our intuition. Your Decision Maker is that part of you that holds the power to choose. It cannot be neutral; it is always choosing. The Decision Maker chooses what it wants to see and believe. The Decision Maker is where learning takes place. It will listen and evaluate evidence presented it and then choose. Lack of conscious awareness of your Decision Maker increases the likelihood of making more victimized choices. Heightened awareness of your Decision Maker (the ability to observe yourself making choices) will increase the frequency of choosing accountable behaviors. The Decision Maker holds all the power. Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 9

Fight, Flight, Freeze Avoid Reject Attack & Defend Retreat Lower loop responses are similar; they are two sides of the same coin. Victims take flight or freeze; Victimizers will fight.

10 Fight, Flight, Freeze Avoid Reject Attack & Defend Retreat Lower loop responses are similar; they are two sides of the same coin. Victims take flight or freeze; Victimizers will fight. The first step is to actively avoid the situation. There is only so much avoidance you can demonstrate until you re challenged. The only option now is to reject your role in the difficult situation. But there is only so much rejection you can demonstrate until you have to defend your it s-not-my-fault position, so you attack and others defend. Attack & defend is emotionally draining and eventually all involved retreat and hide, and the cycle of victimization goes round and round. Stay Stuck & Lose It s important to realize that, during this entire interaction, the difficult situation has NOT been resolved because people have put their energy into attacking and defending rather than solving the problem. Therefore, the result of Flight, Fight or Freeze choices assures that all involved will remain stuck with the difficult situation; nobody wins. Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 10

Flow Being accountable begins with the conscious choice to stay in the flow when difficult situations happen. Think of it as navigating a boat in river rapids.

11 Flow Being accountable begins with the conscious choice to stay in the flow when difficult situations happen. Think of it as navigating a boat in river rapids. If you attempt to fight, flight or freeze while navigating your boat, it will be disastrous. However, navigating turbulent waters (and difficult situations) by going with the flow, will bring you success. Acknowledge The first step is to acknowledge with a nonjudgmental attitude. Even though there s disappointment, you claim there must be a better way and we ll find it. Accept Forgive Adjust Recover Next you ask What did I do to create, promote or allow this difficult situation to happen? This is about accepting your part. Next, forgive yourself and others; realize difficult situations are a fact of life and that looking for a better way is more rewarding than blaming. With an air of forgiveness and guiltlessness, all can invest creative energy into exploring new alternatives. Since plan A didn t work what is plan B? During this interaction, the difficult situation is being addressed which is the exact opposite of victimization. People focus their attitudes and energy towards recovering rather than blaming! Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 11

There are 4 choices every team needs to make.

15 Action Agreements Action Agreements are created in groups to clearly describe how people will behave while they are performing their jobs as opposed to Process Agreements that are more about who will do what and how. Typically, Action Agreements are created in a well-planned and facilitated session. Uses When there is tension in the group that a Process Agreement will not resolve For team or group dynamic issues like: lack of trust, poor communication techniques such as verbal attacks and poor listening, low morale, personality conflicts, lack of accountability To clarify a group s agreement about how to disagree and how to resolve interaction conflicts Examples Intention Statement 1. Each leader agrees to honor the spirit & intent of all the agreements & understandings captured in our Game Plan. Conditions for Acceptance / Clarification A. If we realize that we cannot meet or exceed an agreed upon action or decision, we will bring it up ASAP and all leaders will make a new decision. B. If a leader believes another leader is not keeping this agreement, we will address the leader face-to-face as soon as possible. Intention Statement 2. Each leader will communicate, behave and interact with others in an appropriate & professional manner. Conditions for Acceptance / Clarification A. We follow the spirit & intent of our (company s) Values. B. If a leader believes / feels that another is communicating in an inappropriate or nonproductive way, we will give timely and precise feedback (what you saw and heard). C. Even though this agreement is about inappropriate behaviors, we also want to get better at giving positive behavioral reinforcement (not necessarily more). D. Not only do we agree to hold ourselves accountable for keeping our agreements, we will hold others accountable in a safe and supportive way. Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 15

16 Ask these questions. Do the agreements 1. Guide the team on how to increase trust (or any other improvement dimension) and/or how to earn it back if it s lost? 2. Address how the team intends to acknowledge itself and others for a job well done? 3. Tell the team how it is doing relative to holding itself and others accountable in safe and supportive ways? 4. Address how it will get back on track if someone is avoiding an interpersonal or business conflict? 5. Guide the team in how to deal with someone when/if they triangularate you or others into a tense situation or conflict? 6. Provide the team a clear and agreed upon process for resolving misunderstandings or conflicts? 7. Give the team guidance in how to dialogue about difficult interpersonal styles? 8. Address how the team will clear up confusion or disagreements in how decisions are made? 9. Declare that all team members will hold themselves and others accountable when/if someone slips and does not honor the letter and the spirit of the team s agreements? Copyright 2008 Lord & Hogan LLC Page 16

Red Flags of Conflict

Red Flags of Conflict CONFLICT MANAGEMENT Introduction Webster s Dictionary defines conflict as a battle, contest of opposing forces, discord, antagonism existing between primitive desires, instincts and moral, religious, or