Kelso S Choice Conflict Management EXTENSION LESSONS 4-5

Transcription

1 Kelso S Choice Conflict Management EXTENSION LESSONS 4-5

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3 EXTENSION LESSONS 4-5 Lesson 4 30 minutes 4 5 SAFETY SUPPORT SYSTEMS Ready Students will be able to identify a variety of trusted adults who can help them if they experience a SERIOUS problem. Set Safety Support System: worksheet for each student (See page 63) Whiteboard for brainstorming Large K.C. s Choice classroom poster Go Review the material presented in Lesson 1 by asking students to recall the difference between minor and SERIOUS problems. Discuss the emotions that each type of conflict can create, and remind students that minor problems can result in minor feelings of annoyance, frustration and aggravation, while SERIOUS problems can result in extreme feelings such as fear, alarm or panic. Discuss with students that as they get older, they are allowed to do more things on their own. Explain that this is part of growing up, and that with these new-found freedoms, there are responsibilities as well. Some examples of these new activities might include: Walking over to a friend s house in a different neighborhood Going into a convenience store to purchase something Riding bikes to a new area Going over to play on the school fields on the weekend Walking around inside the mall Going to the movies Getting dropped off at soccer practice or for dance lessons Staying home alone for brief periods of time Waiting in the car while someone in the family runs an errand Explain that as students get older, they are allowed to do more things on their own, and they need to know who to go to for help if they found themselves in a difficult situation. This is part of the responsibility they need to develop as they grow up. Also discuss that by knowing who is in their safety support system, students are able to make a quick decision and think fast about where to go to if there ever is SERIOUS trouble. Ask students to brainstorm some of the people they would go to for help if they experienced a SERIOUS problem. As they brainstorm adults who can intervene, write these names on the board, creating a safety support system web. Use the Safety Support System: Sample worksheet for ideas. Pass out the Safety Support System worksheets to each student and have them create their own personalized support network by writing the names of people who could help them if they ever experienced a SERIOUS problem. Encourage students to use both generic titles ( police ) as well as the names of actual people that they know (Aunt Norma, Rev. Smith, Coach Thomas, etc.) When students are finished, note that each person s support system will be different because everyone s family, community, and friends are unique. Tell students that these worksheets will not be turned in as a class assignment but that they should take their Safety Support System worksheets home to review with their families. Finish Line Did students identify several responsible adults who could provide assistance if they ever experience SERIOUS difficulties? Note: All families have different rules and expectations, and that these activities are unique for each student. 61

4 safety support system: SAMple parents / step-parents POLICE / CAMPUS SECURITY INSTRUCTIONAL ASSISTANTS COACH store owner OLDER BROTHER / SISTER BEST FRIEND S PARENTS RELATIVES SERIOUS PROBLEM TEACHER SCHOOL COUNSELOR HOT LINES & 911 GRANDPARENTS bus driver NEIGHBOR SPIRITUAL LEADER principal / vice-principal 62

5 NAME: safety support system At the end of each line, write the name of an adult who can help if you are having a SERIOUS problem. Think of as many names as you can so that you can quickly get help in a variety of situations. SERIOUS PROBLEM REMEMBER: If the problem is illegal, frightening or dangerous, tell an adult you trust 63

6 Lesson 5 30 minutes 4 5 designer posters Ready Students will be able to review and apply their conflict management skills. Students will be able to create a personalized conflict management poster. Students will be able to set goals for managing future conflict situations. Set One blank K.C. s Wheel drawn on board (a large circle divided into eight parts) One blank K.C. s Wheel for each student (See Reproducible Masters Section page 149) Colored pencils, crayons, or markers Go Ask students: What are designer clothes? Cite popular name brands they have seen on clothing labels. Discuss that these items are generally very unique and are usually produced in limited quantities. Tell students that today they will create their own original designer conflict management poster, tailored to fit only themselves. Their poster will not be turned in to the teacher. They will use it for personal goal setting and reference. Ask students to fill in each section of the poster by drawing, illustrating, or labeling specific choices they will be making. Tell students that it s OK to use simple stick figures to represent themselves and their friends, or they can spend a little more time drawing actual people. On the board, start at the top and move around the wheel, providing examples of each section of the K.C. s Wheel: 1. Make a Deal Ask students: What are your favorite ways of making a deal? Do you pick a number from one to ten? Play Rock-Paper-Scissors? Flip a coin to see heads or tails? Or perhaps you prefer to discuss the problem and make a compromise or a bargain. Draw your favorite ways to apply this. (Students can draw a quarter for flip a coin, numerals one to ten for pick a number, two stick figures talking over a compromise, etc.) 2. Tell Them to (Please) Stop Ask: What do people sometimes do that really bugs you? In the next space draw or list two or three minor, annoying things that, in the future, you may need to ask someone to stop doing. 3. Apologize Tell students to write the words they are most comfortable with when apologizing. Apologies can be I m sorry, I didn t mean to, I didn t realize it, It s my mistake, I messed up, etc. Ask: Which apology sounds sincere and most like you? 4. Talk It Out Have students write the initials of two or three friends that they need to use the skill of Talk It Out with. Tell students to think of friends who don t always see eye-to-eye with them, or friends they sometimes disagree with. 5. Ignore It Tell students: Think about a situation where you have to ignore a problem, a noise, or a distraction. It could be ignoring teasing, ignoring a conversation between two friends that seems like gossip, ignoring a noisy classmate, etc. In this section, have students draw a picture of the situation they choose to ignore in the future. 6. Go to Another Game Ask students to draw their favorite games or areas they really like at school. Tell students to identify activities that they would be willing to switch to if they had a conflict at a game or with another person. 7. Walk Away Have students draw themselves as they are walking away from a minor problem. It can be a game where kids are not playing fairly or when someone is being rude. 64

7 8. Wait and Cool Off Ask students where they can go if they are starting to lose it. Can they sit on the bleachers, get a drink of water, or go to the library? Who can they talk to if they re getting upset? A parent, a favorite teacher, or a close friend? Tell students to draw a place they can go to and/or write the name(s) of someone who listens when they are upset. Note: Students can become very involved in this activity, enjoying the drawings, adding lots of details, and personalizing their posters. The teacher may want to quickly describe what goes in each section of the poster, have students sketch their responses, and then allow time to go back and complete their designs. To close the lesson, select students to share what they ve drawn and discuss their designer choices. Explain how each student has actually set eight goals for themselves and that their finished poster can be used to successfully manage minor problems in the future. Posters should be kept in a safe place such as a binder and can be reviewed in future discussions. Finish Line Did each student complete a designer poster, using personalized responses? Were students able to discuss the relationship between their drawings and future goals? 65

8 Lesson 6 30 minutes 4 5 the cup-o-decisions game Ready Students will be able to differentiate between SERIOUS and minor problems, and apply eight verbal and nonverbal conflict management strategies to minor problems in a group situation. Set 10 paper cups Scenario Strips cut into individual strips of paper (See page 67) Large K.C. s Choice classroom poster K.C. s Notebook Page (See page 68) Go Prior to beginning the lesson, copy and cut the Scenario Strips into 10 strips and randomly place each folded strip of paper under an upside-down paper cup. Place these cups in a line on a table at the front of the classroom. These Scenario Strips represent examples of SERIOUS and minor problems. Their task is to read the problem out loud to the class and quickly decide which type of problem it is. If it s a SERIOUS problem, they need to role-play the correct course of action by reporting the problem to the nearest adult (the teacher in the room). If it s a minor problem, they need to quickly talk among themselves to decide the best course of action and then act out one of the K.C. s Choices (The teacher can act out the part of the antagonist, or the students can address an imaginary student). Have students complete the K.C. s Notebook Page by listing contact phone numbers for potential emergencies, and the phone numbers of friends they can talk things over with. Finish Line Did students in The Cup-O-Decisions Game understand the difference between SERIOUS and minor problems? Did students in The Cup-O-Decisions Game report the SERIOUS problems to the teacher, and were the minor problem role-play solutions realistic and appropriate? Did students complete the K.C. Notebook Page? Begin by briefly reviewing the core material in Lessons 1-3. Ask students to recall the difference between SERIOUS and minor problems, and ask them to describe the difference between verbal and nonverbal conflict management strategies. Explain that sometimes minor conflicts occur between two people only, but that often times, minor problems occur when students are with a friend or in a bigger group. In instances such as this, friends have to work together to solve the minor conflict and that is what The Cup-O- Decisions Game is all about! Explain to the class that under each paper cup is a piece of paper that describes either a SERIOUS or minor problem, and all of the situations involve several people. Explain that two friends can come up together to the front of the room and pick any one of the upside-down paper cups. 66

9 scenario strips Several of you are working on a class project together, but one of the students is messing around and keeps marking on everyone s hands with a pen. You and your friend are trying to find a place to sit in the cafeteria, but every time you spot two empty chairs, someone says that the seats are saved. You and your friend walk into the bathroom to discover that some of the younger students are playing around and peeking under the stall doors. It s recess and you and your friends want to play handball, but everyone over there is arguing about the rules and kids are starting to cheat. A kid in your class thinks it s funny to hide everyone s books and snacks, but you and your friend are getting fed up with it. You re with a group of friends and someone shows you a bag of old fireworks that were in the garage. no one has ever used them and some of them look pretty powerful. One kid wants to light them, somewhere where you won t be seen. You re walking home with your friends after school, and a kid you know shows you a pack of cigarettes and dares you to try one. You and your friend are working in the back of the classroom, and you both watch as a student takes $10.00 out of a backpack that isn t theirs. At the park, you re playing hide and seek with a bunch of friends, and several of you spot a pile of needles and syringes lying under a bush. You and your friend overhear two kids arranging to have a fight after school. you can tell that they re really angry with each other. 67

10 k.c. s notebook page NAME ADDRESS PHONE SCHOOL GRADE FOR SERIOUS PROBLEMS Who i can call for immediate help! emergency numbers, parents or relatives work numbers etc. FOR MINOR PROBLEMS Who i can TALK TO FOR ADVICE 68

11 Lesson 7 30 minutes 4 5 Looking to the future Ready Students will be able to identify conflict management choices that they use successfully. Students will be able to identify one of K.C. s Choices that they would like to use more effectively. Students will be able to list two or more strategies that will help them use the choice more effectively. Set Large K.C. s Choice classroom poster Whiteboard for brainstorming Looking to the Future worksheet for each student (See page 71) Strategies List worksheet, cut into eight sections (See page 73) Go Briefly review the K.C. s Choice poster that is displayed in the classroom. Remind students that the eight choices are practical solutions for solving most of the minor problems that they encounter every day, and that the more SERIOUS problems require help from a trusted adult. Discuss with students that if they try a couple of options from the K.C. s Wheel and they don t work, it s OK to go to an adult for help in sorting this out. This isn t considered tattling because no one is trying to get anyone in trouble. It s simply getting help. Break the class into eight groups and randomly give each group one of the K.C. s Choices and strategies from the Strategies List worksheet. Tell students that they are going to discuss the strategies already listed on the papers, and then add their own ideas on the blank lines. These will be the Do s and Don ts for using that choice. State that after 4-5 minutes, each team will report back to the class on how to successfully implement their particular choice. State that there aren t any wrong ideas, and that each team needs to brainstorm and work together. Briefly have each group report back to the class with the strategies that were listed on their paper, plus any new Do s and Don ts ideas they came up with. Ask students to complete the Looking to the Future worksheet by filling in the blank on the first sentence with the choice that they circled on the wheel, and then identifying two specific strategies from the previous group activity that will help to improve their skills. Finish Line Did all students participate in the group activity? Did each team report back to the class with strategies they had discussed? Did each student identify one choice to improve upon, and two specific strategies for improvement? Give each student a Looking to the Future worksheet and ask them to put a star by one of the K.C. s Choices they feel they are good at using in minor conflict situations. Then ask students to circle the choice that they find harder to use (one that they need to practice). Ask students which choices they have starred and use the board to do a quick tally of the favorite options. Then ask students which choices are more difficult to use and tally the options that they circled. Briefly discuss the tally count, noting which choices are easiest to implement and which ones are harder to use. Tell the students that they are going to participate in an activity in which they are going to become the experts on one of the eight K.C. s Choices. 69

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13 LOOKING TO THE FUTURE THE CHOICE THAT I D LIKE TO GET BETTER AT IS... TWO STRATEGIES THAT WILL HELP ME DO THIS ARE... AND EXAMPLE: The choice I d like to get better at is... TELL THEM TO STOP Two strategies that will help me do this are... STAYING CALM and KEEPING GOOD EYE CONTACT WHILE I SPEAK 71

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15 STRATEGIES LIST Ignore it: DON T: Show that you re annoyed. Don t look at the person who s bothering you. DO: Stay calm. Try to keep busy doing something else. Remember that ignoring can take awhile to work. AND. Tell Them To (PLEASE) Stop: DON T: Sound angry or mad - instead sound strong and be specific. DO: Look directly at the person you re having a minor problem with. Use an I message and say it like you mean it. Tell the person why they are bugging you. AND. Go To Another Game: DO: Have a back-up plan if the game you re playing isn t fun. Ask your friends if they want to switch activities with you. If you decide to switch games, look for games where people are having fun and the lines aren t too long. AND. Wait and Cool Off: DON T: Get involved in games or activities that always cause you minor problems. Do recognize when you re starting to get upset and don t go back. DO: Remember to cool off by doing something you enjoy. Go back only if you re ready. AND. Walk Away: DON T: Hang around too long if you don t like what s going on. Don t make a big deal about leaving, just drift away. DO: Keep a friendly attitude when you walk away. Look for some other friends to hang out with so that you don t feel alone. AND. Apologize: DO: Wait until the other person is calmed down and ready to listen. Pick a quiet time and place to talk. Remember that saying you re sorry doesn t mean that you re to blame, you re just sorry that something happened. AND. Make a Deal: DO: Be flexible. Remember that you can t always have it your way. Give in sometimes but state that next time, you get to choose. Try to reach a compromise so that both sides get some of what they want. AND. Talk it Out: DON T: Involve others in the conversation because people may start to take sides. DO: Explain how you re feeling without blaming anyone. Listen to the other person s side of things. Realize that some people are hard to talk to when they re upset. AND. 73

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