Group Dynamics. Group Dynamics: 12 ways for a lively group

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1 Group Dynamics Whenever people gather together to talk, all sorts of funny things can happen some get shy, some get pushy, some just stir while others daydream... Here are three things you can do in every group situation to encourage everyone to: Be involved Stay involved Contribute something worthwhile. Ideal size of a discussion group is 7 people To learn the art of using group dynamics could take your group up to a year to practice! Use of group dynamics reduces the manipulation and pressure and allows free interaction to take place. Make sure each small group has a convener. Take your time Each point made in this group dynamics sheet has many aspects points of view not everyone may agree. You may not finish the twelve points in one session good, move with the group at a pace and depth that is comfortable for your group. Take time out during discussions to review how things are going. Who s feeling out of it? Moving too fast or too slow? Anyone confused? Remember that silences in a group are often times of insight. These are valuable pauses. Only when your group regularly experiences these dynamics will they start to take effect. Group Dynamics: 12 ways for a lively group FEEDBACK Tell others how you see them, how you experience them. IMMEDIACY Deal with the her and now rather than the there and then. FEELINGS Feelings are neither right nor wrong. Reveal your feelings to the group. Let yourself be free. LANGUAGE Cliches and generalities will dull any group. Use I rather than You. SELF-DISCLOSURE Personal sharing is an invitation to others to involve themselves with you. Risk can lead to growth. LISTENING Learn to pick up all the clues that others give, both verbal and non-verbal. SUPPORT Non-judgmental acceptance and reflective responses are very warming and reassuring. CONFRONTING Not a judgment, but a kind invitation to hear that you disagree with another s words or actions. RESPONSE to confrontation Defensive reaction defeats the potential value of confrontation. Others won t feel free to comment in future. FLIGHT Humour, criticism, defence, blaming, intellectualising can all be ways of fleeting a situation. SIPHONING-OFF Settle issues concerning your group within the group. REFLECTION A process of sharing my reactions and feelings, enabling us to learn from our action. Auckland Catholic Youth and Young Adult Ministry youthmin@cda.org.nz Phone: Visit to subscribe for a weekly events or monthly newsletter Join us on Facebook:

2 P a g e 2 Role Play One of the most effective ways of immediately experiencing these group dynamics is through role-play. Say you choose Number 8 Confronting: Establish the situation eg at home after dinner Choose the parts to be played eg Mum, Dad, son David Decide on the matter for confrontation eg David has asked for the car three nights in a row Now spontaneously ACT OUT what you would say and do in this situation. Do you argue? Do you sulk? Do you kindly disagree? How? We recommend that you have a short reflection after the role play so that others in the group can give feedback. Role plays need be no longer than 3-5 minutes. Fish Bowl Divide the group into two smaller groups. Group A sits in a close circle on the floor while Group B sits on chairs in a wider circle. Group A is now given a set discussion to work through. Meanwhile Group B observes, in silence, the interactions in Group A. After about 15 minutes, wind up the discussion and form one large circle. Group B now has the chance to offer feedback to Group A. How they saw the dynamics of their discussion not the actual discussion content. After about minutes reflection reverse roles so that the observing group are now in the centre having a discussion on a different topic. As a checklist for observation you may prefer to work through the twelve points on the front pages of this resource. As a leader of a youth group or a small group within youth ministry you are seen as a role model. You are seen as someone who is an example of Jesus Christ.

3 P a g e 3 Notes on Role-Plays for Group Dynamics Have a structured format for every meeting: A recognised and endorsed leader/ facilitator for the meeting is a good idea you might like to take turns weekly, monthly etc. Write the agenda on a board and priorities it in order of importance or urgency. Have a scribe keep notes if you want. Ask members to respect the current leader s authority and mandate (rules need to be worked out and agreed within the group in order for this to happen) Start every meeting with a time for social chit-chat to allow people to catch up with each other Leader/facilitator allows everyone an equal chance to speak, offer their ideas and contribute generally. This means the facilitator needs to quieten the louder ones and draw out the quieter ones. Establish a positive environment Meet in a clean and light room the environmental atmosphere impacts on the mood and atmosphere at a meeting. Working around a table or in a circle is good. Meet in a room that is a good fit for the size of your group a really small group meeting in a really large space will de-personalise and distance the group members. If there are people who are in conflict avoid having them sitting opposite each other. They don t need to be adjacent to each other either a bit of space can be good. Have quieter members near or next to a leader so that the leader can draw them out. Discuss and try to endorse the following That everyone listens to every other person fully and without interruption. That people respond to others sensitively and positively rather than reacting negatively Address any conflicts as soon as they become known. Never leave something unattended and unresolved. Be sensitive when doing this. Every person needs to exercise self-discipline and self-control and should be open to challenge and correction from others. Every person is to own what they say and to be honest about feels and ideas. Show respect for each other. Points for leaders Build up core group relationships first and fore-most Address issues as they arise. Adult influence in a leadership role can be positive. Use positive peer pressure when you need to. Ensure relevancy of topics to the group and where there is resistance to a topic bring it out and discuss openly what the resistance is. As a leader show enthusiasm for what you are doing and the topic you are covering. Get to know members in your core group. Have a person who is the liaison person with the Parish / Priest. If your core group has come together over a camp or a retreat then allow time each morning to really check in with each member and find out how they are. Pray! Pray! Pray! You can never do too much prayer as a group and on an individual basis. It s your link with God and it is a priority. It s also a good idea if you have gotten into an argument or conflict to stop and pray. Prayer is also a good and blessed way to go about setting goals, mission statements, objectives etc. Be realistic about your goals and objectives. Ask yourself Are all the gifts and talents of each person in our group being used? How can I draw more out of each member in our group? Affirm your group members and pray for them Remember that your group members won t accept each other fully if you aren t loving and accepting of each and every one of them.

4 P a g e 4 The small group leader invites the meeting to begin. The leader is sensitive to the mood of the group and adjusts the pace and style to allow for this. Be alert for feelings which express the mood of the group these are a guide to suitable pace and depth of involvement. Take care not to pressure quieter members. A gentle invitation to speak could be just the encouragement somebody needs. Another time it might be good to get people to share with their neighbour and then report back. Be prepared to lead the first item or question for discussion yourself. Don t say What does anyone think... Give an example from your own experience before calling on others to do the same. (Never expect others to do what you aren t willing to do). Encourage the sharing to be personal by saying I rather than YOU. Talk about your own experience rather than what you think about others. Every contribution is acceptable and important. There are no right or wrong answers. Don t be afraid of pauses. These are valuable think gaps or breathing spaces. These lead to insight. Occasionally ask how members feel the discussion is progressing. Perhaps a summary of what has happened: Where are we? Do you feel listened to? Stay with an experience as long as possible. Hang in there with one person. Follow ideas and feelings through. Hypothetical situations and vague generalisations have very limited value and interest for any group. The small group leader may choose to being or conclude the meeting with a prayer or invite another to do so. Or perhaps the group would prefer a few minutes of shared prayer together. A small group leader is strong enough to be gentle. Sensitive listening to each contribution and the mood of the group will create an open atmosphere and a personal experience for all. Bodily posture is a clue to what someone is thinking and feeling.

5 P a g e 5 When I listen with my heart 12 signs of bad listening I say YES to you a posture of heart. Interrupts you. We encounter each other warmly, adequately. I listen to the silences the growth gaps. I don t presume to have the full truth. Changes the subject. Thinks of his reply while you are still speaking. Gives advice rather than asks questions. I feel what you are feeling. I step inside you I walk in YOUR shoes. Tells you you re the same as everyone else. Jumps to conclusions I reflect your feelings. Tries to fix your problems. I receive you as you are. I judge nothing and no-one. I allow you to stumble over your words. Moves mentally outside the situations. Moves their hands, feet or bodily position a lot. I set aside my own concerns and noises. Says the same thing happened to me When I listen with my heart extraordinary things happen: You come alive You reveal your undiscovered beauty Growth occurs You feel important Walls disintegrate The healing process beings Learning to Listen is Learning to Love!!

6 P a g e 6 Form groups of three. Each of the three persons takes a turn at filling these three roles. After five minutes, the observer gives feedback for two minutes. Then swap roles and so on. The Speaker The Listener The Observer Chooses a concern to share with the listener. The speaker can outline the situation and give their feelings eg Nobody ever listens to me... Gives the speaker their full attention and good eye contact. They focus on helping the speaker find a clear understanding of the concern. Carefully watches the conversation. Does the listener seem really to care? Is the listener trying to solve the problem or take the lead? Give constructive feedback for 2 minutes. Discussion 1: The hardest role for me was... because... The easiest role for me was... because... The most helpful role for me was... Discussion 2: When listening do you tune in to another s feelings as well as their words? Do you ever attempt to summarise what has been said to show that you are really present and want to understand? Do you listen to non-verbal language? Facial expressions, body positions, gestures, a restless foot, a nervous laugh... Allow about 15 minutes for each of these two discussions. Auckland Catholic Youth Ministry Office Pompallier Centre, 30 New Street, Auckland (Private Bag , Auckland 1144),